worst pick up lines

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Rusman

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Aug 12, 2008
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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

Heard it today at a pub quiz and nearly fell of my chair.
 

KeiraZodiac

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Mar 25, 2009
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I'm [insert name here] - now 47% more manly!!!

I submitted this in a compition for best pick-up lines in my sixth-form, and won. My school really sucked it would seem.
 

duchaked

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Dec 25, 2008
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ygetoff said:
a stranger said:
i got this idea when me and some friends were taking and one them told a girl "hey if you were a burger at mcdonalds you would be called the mcbeautiful" so i got to thinking whats your guys worst pick up lines
Oh my God. I'm using that tomorrow. Somehow.
oh yeah, totally using that one haha
 

IamSARAhearMYgrr

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Apr 24, 2009
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-Nice shoes... wanna fuck?
-Let me tell you a story. These two friends of mine, Jim and Sue *holds pointer from each hand together* were together for a long time. Then they broke up *moves one hand to around person's shoulder* but they just got back together recently *keep hand on shoulder and move the other to there as well so you are embracing the other person* What do you think about that?
 

Protagonist

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Feb 23, 2008
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There is a Visa card in your closet. Its everywhere I want to be.
If you were a pokemon, you'd be a Squirtle, cause you make me wet! My girl friends favorite XD
Looking at your ass makes my bulba soar.
 

dwightsteel

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Feb 7, 2007
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Dudes, every pick up line is inherently awful. Chicks don't think you're being clever, they think you're being fake. At best, it could make them laugh, but unless you are what I refer to as the "traditionally handsome" chap, then you're setting yourself up for a trip the friendzone, which is much like a roach motel in that once you're there, the likelihood of you leaving is a small one.
 

ViolentlyHappy91

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Apr 16, 2009
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My penis, your vagina, combine?

Wanna have sex?

I'll fap to you tonight.

I take pictures of you from a distance and touch myself every night while think of you, MAKE MY DREAMS REAL!
 

TriSarahTops

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Feb 19, 2009
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llewgriff said:
I tryed "your pissed I'm horny so let's fuck on a girl once" didn't go down well with he sober friend....
are you sure you said "lets fuck on a girl once"? check the quotations numbskull!
 

Shapsters

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Dec 16, 2008
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Snugglebunny said:
OH hey I thought up more!

How about you sit on my lap and we talk about the first thing that 'pops' up?
Bes one I have ever seen! All of yours are classic!
 

LooK iTz Jinjo

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Feb 22, 2009
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I threw out this one after a full bottle of Jack Daniels.

Girl [Jokingly to her gay friend]: I know you think about me naked.
Me: Who Doesn't?

Suffice to say it failed... Miserably... Lol the only reason I know it happened is because she constantly informs me of it, I was waaaaaay to drunk to actually know what I was saying or even remember it haha!
 

Fairee

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dwightsteel said:
Dudes, every pick up line is inherently awful. Chicks don't think you're being clever, they think you're being fake. At best, it could make them laugh, but unless you are what I refer to as the "traditionally handsome" chap, then you're setting yourself up for a trip the friendzone, which is much like a roach motel in that once you're there, the likelihood of you leaving is a small one.
Actually, as a chick, 1, I'd want a guy to make me laugh, and if he's found the courage to come and talk to me I'd at least give him a chance, and 2, things can move from being friends to dating.... trust me, I'd want to know a guy isn't a creepy stalker/fanboy of Sonic/just trying to get in my pants before I dated him, and being friends is the easiest way to do that.
 

somekindawizard

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Dec 3, 2008
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Will you sit on my face so I can guess your weight?

Did you fall from heaven, because you have a really flat face!
 

dwightsteel

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Feb 7, 2007
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Geek@Heart said:
dwightsteel said:
Dudes, every pick up line is inherently awful. Chicks don't think you're being clever, they think you're being fake. At best, it could make them laugh, but unless you are what I refer to as the "traditionally handsome" chap, then you're setting yourself up for a trip the friendzone, which is much like a roach motel in that once you're there, the likelihood of you leaving is a small one.
Actually, as a chick, 1, I'd want a guy to make me laugh, and if he's found the courage to come and talk to me I'd at least give him a chance, and 2, things can move from being friends to dating.... trust me, I'd want to know a guy isn't a creepy stalker/fanboy of Sonic/just trying to get in my pants before I dated him, and being friends is the easiest way to do that.
then you are the exception that proves the rule. Every single chick that I was friends with prior to liking more intimately, all gave me either the "You're too much like a brother to me" line or the "I wouldn't want this to ruin our friendship". As for the pick up lines, I've never seen them work. Ever. I've watched literally dozens of guys get shut down when they've tried.