Worst Possible Thing You Can Say After Sex

[Shoggoth2588]

"Oh, shit! I forgot to TiVo Code Monkeys!"

"If I told you I only wanted to do Doggy Style so I could achievement hunt during you'd have called me a jerk. Besides, I offered to put it on split-screen."

"That was ama-zzzZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzz..."

"How was I supposed to know not to bite that!? It was my first time!"

"That was disgusting...Are you sure we did it right?"

"That was fun but you should hurry up and get out of here, my girlfriend (or wife) will be back soon and she's not into threesomes."

"I guess they're right: Senior citizens although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose."

 

[Teachingaddict]

"Ding!"

"For the Horde!!"

"Did I mention I used to be a man/woman"

"You learn well my padawan"

"Who's the daddy"

"Sorry my mind was somewhere else"

"Perhaps next time we can invite your sister"

"Perhaps next time we could invite your brother!"

"Your mum wasn't like this"

All I can think of for now

Edit - "There's no prizes for 'cumming' second"

 

[Thundero13]

I'm a man by the way.

I hope nobody minds that i'm posting quite a lot.

 

[joshthor]

.... yep. im gay. (assuming a man says that to a woman he just had sex with)

 

[balanovich]

You're the 100th to visit me. Click here to get a prize!

 

[superbatranger]

"Oh crap. I forgot to take my herpes medication."

 

[ssjbardock]

I'm a man by the way.

I hope nobody minds that i'm posting quite a lot.

nah its cool... just no double posting kk?

 

[blankedboy]

"So are you pregnant yet?"

That's all I got :/

 

[Atmos Duality]

"SPAWN MORE OVERLORDS."

 

[BlindTom]

BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL

 

[DanDanikov]

This one entirely depends on your appreciation for a certain movie and isn't just what (not) to say, but what (not) to do.

It involves dipping one's thumb into the sloppy results of the preceding copulation, dragging the moistened thumb across your partners forehead from left to right in a slight curve while uttering 'Simba...'.

 

[llew]

"well that was shit... back to WoW i think"

 

[CaptainREBell]

Wow, I didn't realise you'd be quite that fat...
(Whilst tweeting about it.)

 

[balanovich]

(After doing it with a black person)

Since you're black, does this count as bestiality ?

 

[silverhawk100]

By your powers combined, I am CAPTAIN PLANET!

Captain Planet, he's our hero. Gonna put pollution down to zero... etc

 

[Super Six One]

Man i guess all that practice on sheep really payed off..

 

[seanwtfgamer]

Ahhh, so better without the condom.

 

[DevilWolf47]

This has probably been done multiple times, but "Have you seen my HIV medication?" would top my list. Though "My dog is better at faking orgasms" is something i might say if i was criticizing a porno and might feasibly be said after sex by the suicidal.

 

[Jackhorse]

"Happy Birthday Grandma, I got you Chlamydia!"

Someone throw a dead puppy in there and we'll have completely ewed someone out.

"How was I? I've been practising at the morgue"

I'm not sure which is worse and I hope I haven't been ninja'd on either.

 

[Johnny Reb]

What a lovely tea party.