Worst rejections-in career,love or life and how you got over it

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Omey

Senior Member
Apr 8, 2011
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Well recently I had a girl,who i had a crush on for months,bring me down in half a second when told her i like her.
Now it wouldn't have hurt if she would have shown some sign of surprise,happiness or whatever.The way she said it was a flat and quick 'NO'.

So I've been wondering....This happens with many people in a lot of places (like a reject from a university,or a really bad interview)and I too will soon forget.But any Idea how to speed up that process?How did you guys deal with something like this?(if it happened with you)

Waiting for your stories and tips hopefully
 

Kenami

New member
Nov 3, 2010
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This has happened to me before. Its even worst when it's someone your close with. On the bright side be very thankful she quickly said no, I'm sure everyone here would agree that its even worst being strung along for days, weeks, or sometimes even months when you like someone. Since she quickly said no you can just as quickly move on from it.

What I do is venture into things myself for a couple days/weeks. I do this because I know I'll have a tendency of feeling annoyed with a group of people but not because of them but of what happened with a girl (her saying no, break up, etc.) so go to a concert by yourself or rent a DVD of a TV series you've been meaning to watch and indulge yourself. Maybe even rent/purchase a video game you've been meaning to play and submerse yourself into the story completely. Again these are things I do to get through a rough time but I believe they might help you out also.
 

Serving UpSmiles

New member
Aug 4, 2010
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I feel that negative energy is something that strikes you and goes through you, and then you have to heal the wounds. Don't know if this helps but it does make sense to me.
 

Daselthechaz

New member
Jun 16, 2010
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I'm gonna' have to go with...my divorce.

Yeah. Being as I am one of the seven men in the world that actually gets all worked up and excited over the idea of monogamy, getting the boot from (and consequently having to give the boot to) my wife was a pretty horrible, long period of my life. The fact that I dealt with it at all is something that my friends are largely responsible for, but they can't fix you. You have to. They just serve as a marvelous and genuinely concerned distraction. That genuine concern is a beautiful thing in an instance such as yours, because it means that even if their answer is "no" to something, at least it's a "no" with a fleshed out explanation that doesn't make you feel so completely disposable.

But like I said. That's just a small part of it. In the end, you need to feel that after months or years of preparation, effort and expectation that are all pulled away in an instant, you still have some ground to stand on. Right?

Or do you? The funny thing about standing on the ground is this: there exactly two kinds of things in this world that don't stand on it. Some are falling objects, and that's what we fear being. The alternative though, is creatures that can fly. Believe it or not, you can fit into the latter category.

See, you only have so much time or energy to spend on any and everything, period. Every second of every day, we make decisions on where and how to spend that time and energy, and whatever we choose excludes everything else we could be up to. When you come across a situation like yours where the focal point of so much time and energy--the very bedrock of your daily efforts--just goes away, it leaves a pretty huge gap in your schedule...that you can fill with anything you want, by moving in any direction you want. That ground pulled out from under you was a limiting factor, no matter how comforting it might have been beneath you.

You're on this website, so I'll start with the obvious. While you were getting your woo on, did you miss out on some good gaming? PLAY. See a book on the stand that piqued your interest? READ IT. Have a really nifty idea that you'd like to see on a stand? WRITE IT. Hang out with your buddies. Tell your folks you love 'em. Hike the Appalachian trail. Whatever! The simple fact of the matter is that even though it would have been nice for you to get on this forum and say "I have a relationship, because I worked at it and had just enough luck for the rest to fall into place," that didn't happen. Still, you can come back here later and say "I (fill in the blank)ed as hard as I could" and that should be just as important. If the girl had said yes, she could still have been hit by a bus ten minutes later, and that would leave you right back here, wondering what to do with your thoughts, affections, wants and works. I'm not saying just go out and do anything to distract yourself, I'm saying go out and do exactly what you would have done if you'd never met this girl in the first place, then come let us know what it is. For all you know, there's a hundred people that'll read this today and need a good idea.

It might not get you the girl, but it certainly makes life move that much more quickly.
 

Dectomax

New member
Jun 17, 2010
1,761
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Dumped by a long-standing Girlfriend, rejected from University, both within a day of each other. I had to go to my interview feeling like utter shite, with no sleep. Then to get turned down from there too, I was not in a good place.

I needed something to make me feel strong again, something to prove to myself that I am great. so, I joined The Royal Marines. I'm thankful to this day that I applied. When you are stood on the Parade grounds and you hear: "Royal Marines, TO YOUR DUTIES!" You feel strong. you know that you are capable of anything. It is and probably always will be the proudest moment of my life.
 

EmzOLV

New member
Oct 20, 2010
635
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I had a similar thing with this guy when I was in secondary school. I told him I liked him one day after hanging out loads and he actually pointed and laughed in my face. I just walked off with a bright red face (I refused to cry until I got out of sight in the toilets) and then he told all of his friends about it, who of course told of their girl mates, who then told my mates, who then all laughed about who I liked and how funny it was.

I was only like, what, 13 or something?! I know, us young uns! Now I just get rejected on a daily basis, the fun part is the chase anyway.

I don't think I've had so many work rejections as such, but the industry I work in is quite difficult to get into so there is a lot of competition. It meant about 1 in every 20 letters or applications I did I got a response, and out of those responses only 1 in 4 were positive. It was really quite difficult to feel like you were getting nowhere, but its all about going for it. Just keep going!

Eurgh. Bad memories I guess!
 

Ham_authority95

New member
Dec 8, 2009
3,496
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Haven't been rejected romantically or sexually, yet. Probably because I don't ask unless I'm 75% sure that they'll say yes.

But I have been "rejected" from a band I was once in. They kinda stopped returning my messages and I haven't rehearsed with them in 4 months.

Whatever, I got over it by writing material for my other band and making music that was relevant to my taste. Sure felt like an unwanted failure for a bit, though.
 

Ham_authority95

New member
Dec 8, 2009
3,496
0
0
EmzOLV said:
I had a similar thing with this guy when I was in secondary school. I told him I liked him one day after hanging out loads and he actually pointed and laughed in my face. I just walked off with a bright red face (I refused to cry until I got out of sight in the toilets) and then he told all of his friends about it, who of course told of their girl mates, who then told my mates, who then all laughed about who I liked and how funny it was.

I was only like, what, 13 or something?! I know, us young uns! Now I just get rejected on a daily basis, the fun part is the chase anyway.

I don't think I've had so many work rejections as such, but the industry I work in is quite difficult to get into so there is a lot of competition. It meant about 1 in every 20 letters or applications I did I got a response, and out of those responses only 1 in 4 were positive. It was really quite difficult to feel like you were getting nowhere, but its all about going for it. Just keep going!

Eurgh. Bad memories I guess!
Curious, what industry is this?
 

Omey

Senior Member
Apr 8, 2011
112
0
21
Daselthechaz said:
I'm gonna' have to go with...my divorce.

Yeah. Being as I am one of the seven men in the world that actually gets all worked up and excited over the idea of monogamy, getting the boot from (and consequently having to give the boot to) my wife was a pretty horrible, long period of my life. The fact that I dealt with it at all is something that my friends are largely responsible for, but they can't fix you. You have to. They just serve as a marvelous and genuinely concerned distraction. That genuine concern is a beautiful thing in an instance such as yours, because it means that even if their answer is "no" to something, at least it's a "no" with a fleshed out explanation that doesn't make you feel so completely disposable.

But like I said. That's just a small part of it. In the end, you need to feel that after months or years of preparation, effort and expectation that are all pulled away in an instant, you still have some ground to stand on. Right?

Or do you? The funny thing about standing on the ground is this: there exactly two kinds of things in this world that don't stand on it. Some are falling objects, and that's what we fear being. The alternative though, is creatures that can fly. Believe it or not, you can fit into the latter category.

See, you only have so much time or energy to spend on any and everything, period. Every second of every day, we make decisions on where and how to spend that time and energy, and whatever we choose excludes everything else we could be up to. When you come across a situation like yours where the focal point of so much time and energy--the very bedrock of your daily efforts--just goes away, it leaves a pretty huge gap in your schedule...that you can fill with anything you want, by moving in any direction you want. That ground pulled out from under you was a limiting factor, no matter how comforting it might have been beneath you.

You're on this website, so I'll start with the obvious. While you were getting your woo on, did you miss out on some good gaming? PLAY. See a book on the stand that piqued your interest? READ IT. Have a really nifty idea that you'd like to see on a stand? WRITE IT. Hang out with your buddies. Tell your folks you love 'em. Hike the Appalachian trail. Whatever! The simple fact of the matter is that even though it would have been nice for you to get on this forum and say "I have a relationship, because I worked at it and had just enough luck for the rest to fall into place," that didn't happen. Still, you can come back here later and say "I (fill in the blank)ed as hard as I could" and that should be just as important. If the girl had said yes, she could still have been hit by a bus ten minutes later, and that would leave you right back here, wondering what to do with your thoughts, affections, wants and works. I'm not saying just go out and do anything to distract yourself, I'm saying go out and do exactly what you would have done if you'd never met this girl in the first place, then come let us know what it is. For all you know, there's a hundred people that'll read this today and need a good idea.

It might not get you the girl, but it certainly makes life move that much more quickly.
Thank you.The bit about two kinds of things hit me and gave me hope.