Worst Video Game story EVER

[Elandin]

I want to know what you guys think is the worst game story EVER. Please note that this doesn't count games like Pong that have no story, just games who's story is so terrible that it makes you want to puke out of your eye sockets. I mean the worst possible game you can think of, just jaw droppingly awful. Mind you it could be a game that was pretty good but the story is about as bright as a book made of matches under the sea.

Please also give a reason(s) why it sucks so bad. And it has to a real reason not just "0mfg tihs g4m are sux!"

Anyway, yea... have at it!

 

[Treeinthewoods]

Total Recall for the NES. It had nothing to do with the movie, the platforming and all other aspects of the game were barely playable and Arnold Schwarzeneger had nothing to do with it.

 

[Odegauger]

Red Faction Guerrilla's story was pretty bad, but I think what was less of it being actually bad, but just mind-numbingly generic.

 

[y1fella]

metal gear solid, a pile of incomprehensible cheese and lousy humor, and if you can understand it then your not in for much anyway.

 

[ReckzB]

Tony Hawk's Underground 2, maybe? The original Underground had a rather decent storyline I'd say, but THUG2 was just atrocious. Although, I might just be saying this because the entire game was questionable. Only good thing about the entire game was the return of THPS3's Los Angeles stage. Anyway; Hawk vs. Bam was the entirety of the plot? Uh, no thanks.

But I'm sure there are worse video game stories to bring into the discussion, like Avatar, perhaps?

 

[Fenring]

Minecraft. Why am I made of blocks? Where am I? Am I the only one her? Where did everyone else go? [small]jk[/small]


EDIT: Turns out it's a love story, I guess you have to see the movie.

 

[PurpleSky]

Minecraft. Why am I made of blocks? Where am I? Am I the only one her? Where did everyone else go? [small]jk[/small]

Lol that made my day.

 

[Blemontea]

Heres a boring one,

Spoiler

An evil shadow creature plagues this village of people and demands that one year that a virgin sacrifice is made along with an offering of holy saki which gets delivered to him by a white wolf. one day the village warrior says enough and goes to the cave to kill it. along the way he manages to befriend the wolf and he and the wolf together defeat the evil and live happily ever after. A solar eclipse causes a seal that kept the evil away to be destroyed unleashing the evil again, just before the village is consumed by the sheer power of the evil awakening, the spirit of nature who was living in the tree puts the soul of the sun god Amaretesu inside the statue of the wolf guardian, which causes it to appear as a wolf. Now you have to go around the land collect the spells and blah blah blah you kill the evil and save the day

... its such a copy paste plot its not even funny, and the art design is just stupid. cookie for refernce PLUS!

Spoiler

If you couldn't tell that was sarcasm and i had no boring plot so i just had to be boring in return and hope it would at least get a chuckle out of you, then you probably need help dressing yourself in the morning

 

[The Rockerfly]

Minesweeper

I mean you get rid of mines, but the mines aren't destroying anything or bothering anyone. Wheres the motivation?

 

[captaincabbage]

Total Recall for the NES. It had nothing to do with the movie, the platforming and all other aspects of the game were barely playable and Arnold Schwarzeneger had nothing to do with it.

Watch out for the random punches through holes in the fences!

OT: I'm gonna have to go with Resident Evil 5. The story is so retarded and convoluted, with such bad voice acting that it made me wanna laugh at every line. XD

 

[JRShield]

Mario, just kill that f-ing Bowser already or he'll keep on kidnapping the princess!

Off-topic: Give me back my avatar, you thief!

 

[furry-ryuu-ken]

Splinter cell conviction...

Spoiler: its story

Bag guys: hey lets kill our old agent who is teh 1337 best of thgem all! he don't evn know bout our secret ultaament evil plan!
sam:gerrrrr, my dotter...
grim: sha alive sam
sam: gerrr lets kill teh bad guys then
bad giuyh no, emp city
Lambert massage: we had to fake sarras deth, i had to get teh mole
sam:finnash teh fight. save dotter
bad guy: lamber failed, you kalled im pam!
sam: you cost me 3(?) years of my life but i look 20 years older!
But srsly thats pretty much what happened

 

[Extraintrovert]

I'm going to be OOH EDGY and state that Doom has the worst story. So a bunch of people (on Mars for some reason) decide the best way to get from point A to point B is to take a jaunty stroll through hell. To the surprise of no-one the demons follow them, killing everyone and wreaking their stuff, with the exception of one generic soldier no different from the rest that somehow kills them all. And then John was a zombie. Really stupid.

 

[Vhite]

Every Super Mario game and first, maybe all Zelda games. I havent played newer ones.

 

[Glamorgan]

Mine sweeper. What motivation do you have for attacking those poor defenseless mines? NONE! NONE, I TELL YOU!
...sorry

 

[John47]

a

 

[Woodsey]

Splinter cell conviction...

Spoiler: its story

Bag guys: hey lets kill our old agent who is teh 1337 best of thgem all! he don't evn know bout our secret ultaament evil plan!
sam:gerrrrr, my dotter...
grim: sha alive sam
sam: gerrr lets kill teh bad guys then
bad giuyh no, emp city
Lambert massage: we had to fake sarras deth, i had to get teh mole
sam:finnash teh fight. save dotter
bad guy: lamber failed, you kalled im pam!
sam: you cost me 3(?) years of my life but i look 20 years older!
But srsly thats pretty much what happened

I assume you mean 20 years younger, not older? And I always thought he looked older than he did in Double Agent.

Also, your comprehension of the story is truly astounding. I don't think I've ever seen someone recount it so near-perfectly.

 

[Knight Templar]

Splinter cell conviction...

Spoiler: its story

Bag guys: hey lets kill our old agent who is teh 1337 best of thgem all! he don't evn know bout our secret ultaament evil plan!
sam:gerrrrr, my dotter...
grim: sha alive sam
sam: gerrr lets kill teh bad guys then
bad giuyh no, emp city
Lambert massage: we had to fake sarras deth, i had to get teh mole
sam:finnash teh fight. save dotter
bad guy: lamber failed, you kalled im pam!
sam: you cost me 3(?) years of my life but i look 20 years older!
But srsly thats pretty much what happened

You know Grim made it look like Sam knew what was going on in order to force him to help.

 

[furry-ryuu-ken]

Splinter cell conviction...

Spoiler: its story

Bag guys: hey lets kill our old agent who is teh 1337 best of thgem all! he don't evn know bout our secret ultaament evil plan!
sam:gerrrrr, my dotter...
grim: sha alive sam
sam: gerrr lets kill teh bad guys then
bad giuyh no, emp city
Lambert massage: we had to fake sarras deth, i had to get teh mole
sam:finnash teh fight. save dotter
bad guy: lamber failed, you kalled im pam!
sam: you cost me 3(?) years of my life but i look 20 years older!
But srsly thats pretty much what happened

You know Grim made it look like Sam knew what was going on in order to force him to help.

Sam just wanted to hear about his 'baby girl', aparantly 3 years is enough to age(reverse?)
"woodsey" kay i never noticed till he got older(?).

I assume you mean 20 years younger, not older? And I always thought he looked older than he did in Double Agent.

Also, your comprehension of the story is truly astounding. I don't think I've ever seen someone recount it so near-perfectly.

>=3[sub][sub]donkey![/sub][/sub]

 

[Knight Templar]

Splinter cell conviction...

Spoiler: its story

Bag guys: hey lets kill our old agent who is teh 1337 best of thgem all! he don't evn know bout our secret ultaament evil plan!
sam:gerrrrr, my dotter...
grim: sha alive sam
sam: gerrr lets kill teh bad guys then
bad giuyh no, emp city
Lambert massage: we had to fake sarras deth, i had to get teh mole
sam:finnash teh fight. save dotter
bad guy: lamber failed, you kalled im pam!
sam: you cost me 3(?) years of my life but i look 20 years older!
But srsly thats pretty much what happened

You know Grim made it look like Sam knew what was going on in order to force him to help.

Sam just wanted to hear about his 'baby girl', aparantly 3 years is enough to age(reverse?)
"woodsey" kay i never noticed till he got older(?).

Sorry but I don't understand what you're saying.