Worst Video Game story EVER

[furry-ryuu-ken]

Spoiler: talking

Splinter cell conviction...

Spoiler: its story

Bag guys: hey lets kill our old agent who is teh 1337 best of thgem all! he don't evn know bout our secret ultaament evil plan!
sam:gerrrrr, my dotter...
grim: sha alive sam
sam: gerrr lets kill teh bad guys then
bad giuyh no, emp city
Lambert massage: we had to fake sarras deth, i had to get teh mole
sam:finnash teh fight. save dotter
bad guy: lamber failed, you kalled im pam!
sam: you cost me 3(?) years of my life but i look 20 years older!
But srsly thats pretty much what happened

You know Grim made it look like Sam knew what was going on in order to force him to help.

Sam just wanted to hear about his 'baby girl', aparantly 3 years is enough to age(reverse?)
"woodsey" kay i never noticed till he got older(?).

Sorry but I don't understand what you're saying.

Sam did not care about what the 'evil plan' was, he wanted to hear about his girl.

Sam did not care about what the 'evil plan' was, he wanted to hear about his girl.

So?
Grim played Sam to get him to help. Getting him involved by convincing Reed he knew what was going on, and keeping him involved with the promise of returning Sarah.

Ding ding ding!!! We have a winner(?) here is you're "prize"! ignore the quotation marks... they're "nothing"[sub][1][/sub]

[1][sub][sub][sub]Trap[/sub][/sub][/sub]

 

[Knight Templar]

Sam did not care about what the 'evil plan' was, he wanted to hear about his girl.

So?
Grim played Sam to get him to help. Getting him involved by convincing Reed he knew what was going on, and keeping him involved with the promise of returning Sarah.

 

[Grouchy Imp_v1legacy]

I'm going to be OOH EDGY and state that Doom has the worst story. So a bunch of people (on Mars for some reason) decide the best way to get from point A to point B is to take a jaunty stroll through hell. To the surprise of no-one the demons follow them, killing everyone and wreaking their stuff, with the exception of one generic soldier no different from the rest that somehow kills them all. And then John was a zombie. Really stupid.

To be fair, Doom's story was that the scientists were trying to create a teleporter system from Phobos base to Deimos base, and that the inter-trans-dimentional thingy just happend to pass through Hell by accident. This is also pretty much exactly the plot of the film Event Horizon (but with planetary systems instead of moons), and that's a pretty awesome film. I take your point about the lone marine though.

OT: Metal Gear's story. Convoluted, confused, and overall just not worth the hassle of deciphering.

 

[furry-ryuu-ken]

I'm going to be OOH EDGY and state that Doom has the worst story. So a bunch of people (on Mars for some reason) decide the best way to get from point A to point B is to take a jaunty stroll through hell. To the surprise of no-one the demons follow them, killing everyone and wreaking their stuff, with the exception of one generic soldier no different from the rest that somehow kills them all. And then John was a zombie. Really stupid.

To be fair, Doom's story was that the scientists were trying to create a teleporter system from Phobos base to Deimos base, and that the inter-trans-dimentional thingy just happend to pass through Hell by accident. This is also pretty much exactly the plot of the film Event Horizon (but with planetary systems instead of moons), and that's a pretty awesome film. I take your point about the lone marine though.

OT: Metal Gear's story. Convoluted, confused, and overall just not worth the hassle of deciphering.

Why am I THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN STOP THEM! what happened to every one else?

 

[Talon_Skywarp]

Am I the only one who likes MGS story?

Every Nintendo game (abit broad I know)

Mario- look , just share her and let the mushrooms watch
Zelda- Just share her and let everyone watch

 

[ThePantomimeThief]

I always found the Street Fighter storyline absolutely horrible, and Tekken as well. Brilliant games, though.

Also, in before Bad Dudes vs Dragon Ninja (although it's also the best story ever)

 

[TerribleAssassin]

Mario.

Jump on people, not arreset the villanous turtle and save the princess.

 

[The Real Sandman]

Spoiler: Condemned 2: Bloodshot

Previously in the first game...
Ethan Thomas- Yeesh! Psycho bums! Good Golly! More psycho bums! What the kitty litter is going on here?!
THE END!

Meanwhile, in the squeal...
Ethan Thomas- MRAH! Shit...fuck motherin', everybody's stupid but me.
Narrative- HI BUDDY!
Ethan- It's Ethan. An' the 'fuck are you? 'Got any change or a bus ticket?
Narrative- Um, no.
Ethan- Well d'you want?
Narrative- I'm here to tell you that the bums are going nuts because someone nailed noisy thing-a-ma-bobs to the walls and it's making their brains all screwy!
Ethan- But that don't make no fothermuckin' sense. And why tell me that now? It's the first God dang level?!
Narrative- Oh don't be such a sour noggin. LOOK OUT! IT'S AN EXPLODING BABY DOLL!!!
Ethan- WHAT THE ANUS OF A MONKEY'S BOURBON ELEPHANT?!!!?
Narrative- You have no vocal chords!
Ethan- But how am I...
Narrative- By the way, an evil cult is behind all this.
Ethan- Wait wha...?
Narrative- LIEK OMG!!1!! THAT CREEPY LOOKING GUY WHO'S A BIG MEANY TO EVERYONE IS ACTUALLY THE BAD GUY!!1!!!
Ethan- No shit...
Narrative- Your mommy and daddy were members of the cult, and they tried get you out of it and died for it.
Ethan- Who?
SKX- Hi Ethan!
Ethan- Didn't you get your brains blown out?
Chief- UR TEH CHOZEN WON!1!!11!
Ethan- ...the fuck?
Stage Magician- I'm a stage magician.
Ethan-...the FUCK!?
Narrative-YOU HAVE SUPER POWERS!
Ethan-WHAT THE CAT FUCKIN' MOOSE HUMPIN' CASSEROLE IS FUCKIN' GOIN' ON!?(puts gun to head)
Narrative-Hold on Ethan, put down that gun, there's one last thing I gotta tell that I think you'll like!
Ethan-Ugh... okay, what.
Narrative- YOU INDIRECTLY KILLED THE PRESIDENT!
Ethan- (Pulls trigger)

CONDEMNED 2: BLOODSHOT

IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY GODDAMN SENCE

 

[Legion]

Spoiler: Condemned 2: Bloodshot

Previously in the first game...
Ethan Thomas- Yeesh! Psycho bums! Good Golly! More psycho bums! What the kitty litter is going on here?!
THE END!

Meanwhile, in the sequal...
Ethan Thomas- MRAH! Shit...fuck motherin', everybody's stupid but me.
Narrative- HI BUDDY!
Ethan- It's Ethan. An' the 'fuck are you? 'Got any change or a bus ticket?
Narrative- Um, no.
Ethan- Well d'you want?
Narrative- I'm here to tell you that the bums are going nuts because someone nailed noisy thing-a-ma-bobs to the walls and it's making their brains all screwy!
Ethan- But that don't make no fothermuckin' sence. And why tell me that now? It's the first God dang level?!
Narrative- Oh don't be such a sour noggin. LOOK OUT! IT'S AN EXPLODING BABY DOLL!!!
Ethan- WHAT THE ANUS OF A MONKEY'S BURBON ELEPHANT?!!!?
Narrative- You have no vocal chords!
Ethan- But how am I...
Narrative- By the way, an evil cult is behind all this.
Ethan- Wait wha...?
Narrative- LIEK OMG!!1!! THAT CREEPY LOOKING GUY WHO'S A BIG MEANY TO EVERYONE IS ACTUALLY THE BAD GUY!!1!!!
Ethan- No shit...
Narrative- Your mommy and daddy were members of the cult, and they tried get you out of it and died for it.
Ethan- Who?
SKX- Hi Ethan!
Ethan- Didn't I/you blow your brains out?
Chief- UR TEH CHOZEN WON!1!!11!
Ethan- ...the fuck?
Stage Magician- I'm a stage magician.
Ethan...the FUCK!?
Narrative-YOU HAVE SUPER POWERS!
Ethan-WHAT THE CAT FUCKIN' MOOSE HUMPIN' CASSEROLE IS FUCKIN' GOIN' ON!?(puts gun to head)
Narrative-Hold on Ethan, put down that gun, there's one last thing I gotta tell that I think you'll like!
Ethan-Ugh... okay, what.
Nsrrative- YOU INDIRECTLY KILLED THE PRESIDENT!
Ethan- (Pulls trigger)

CONDEMNED 2: BLOODSHOT

IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY GODDAMN SENCE

That was frigging awesome.

I enjoyed the game-play, but the story was absolutely crazy (in a bad way), especially when it went onto the the whole cult thing.

 

[Terminate421]

1. The entire purpose of becoming a pokemon was to tell rayquaza to shoot a meteor that he couldn't spot himself

2. you were told that you were a child multiple times and suck at your job

3. If the sequel (Explorers of Time) was a master piece (Which it is), than this is the shit storm.

 

[The Real Sandman]

Spoiler: Condemned 2: Bloodshot

Previously in the first game...
Ethan Thomas- Yeesh! Psycho bums! Good Golly! More psycho bums! What the kitty litter is going on here?!
THE END!

Meanwhile, in the sequal...
Ethan Thomas- MRAH! Shit...fuck motherin', everybody's stupid but me.
Narrative- HI BUDDY!
Ethan- It's Ethan. An' the 'fuck are you? 'Got any change or a bus ticket?
Narrative- Um, no.
Ethan- Well d'you want?
Narrative- I'm here to tell you that the bums are going nuts because someone nailed noisy thing-a-ma-bobs to the walls and it's making their brains all screwy!
Ethan- But that don't make no fothermuckin' sence. And why tell me that now? It's the first God dang level?!
Narrative- Oh don't be such a sour noggin. LOOK OUT! IT'S AN EXPLODING BABY DOLL!!!
Ethan- WHAT THE ANUS OF A MONKEY'S BURBON ELEPHANT?!!!?
Narrative- You have no vocal chords!
Ethan- But how am I...
Narrative- By the way, an evil cult is behind all this.
Ethan- Wait wha...?
Narrative- LIEK OMG!!1!! THAT CREEPY LOOKING GUY WHO'S A BIG MEANY TO EVERYONE IS ACTUALLY THE BAD GUY!!1!!!
Ethan- No shit...
Narrative- Your mommy and daddy were members of the cult, and they tried get you out of it and died for it.
Ethan- Who?
SKX- Hi Ethan!
Ethan- Didn't I/you blow your brains out?
Chief- UR TEH CHOZEN WON!1!!11!
Ethan- ...the fuck?
Stage Magician- I'm a stage magician.
Ethan...the FUCK!?
Narrative-YOU HAVE SUPER POWERS!
Ethan-WHAT THE CAT FUCKIN' MOOSE HUMPIN' CASSEROLE IS FUCKIN' GOIN' ON!?(puts gun to head)
Narrative-Hold on Ethan, put down that gun, there's one last thing I gotta tell that I think you'll like!
Ethan-Ugh... okay, what.
Nsrrative- YOU INDIRECTLY KILLED THE PRESIDENT!
Ethan- (Pulls trigger)

CONDEMNED 2: BLOODSHOT

IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY GODDAMN SENCE

That was frigging awesome.

I enjoyed the game-play, but the story was absolutely crazy (in a bad way), especially when it went onto the the whole cult thing.

The first one, while the combat wasn't as visceral, definetly had a better story and atmosphere. The fact that it was never explained why the lower class went manic schizophrenic just made things all the more creepy.

Then they just had to give it away in the second game. I probably wouldn't have mind if they at least didn't tell us in the first fucking level.

Then the game switched from sick, ultra-violent, "like a train wreck" melee combat to generic shooting, then to that "super shout" thing.

Also, Ethan was a relatable, very human and realistic character in the first game (easily one of the better game protagonists). In Bloodshot, he's a plain old asshole. Okay, I get that he's lost some of his marbles since then and that he's a damaged soul, but does he really have to be this much of a (potty-mouthed) jerk?

Bloodshot is no where near a bad game. But if you compare the franchise to The Matrix, this is it's Reloaded if you get what I'm saying.