WTF Australia?!?!?!

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madster11

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Aug 17, 2010
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Daww, what a cute little spider.

Look at the noble thing, all protecting us from the snakes and shit. That's a total spider bro. Ask it, and i bet it would spot you $50 for weed and never even ask for so much as a hit of it in return. What a bro.

Also, just saying, we need to start spreading more videos like this all over the internet for out national security.
"Want to invade our country?
-video-
Still want to invade our country?
Didn't think so."

And the funny thing?
That snake eating spider isn't our most deadly.

Offworlder said:
Considering we have 9 of the most ten most poisonous snakes in the world exclusive to our little island I'd welcome this spider warmly, but on the other hand I hate spiders, of which we have one of the most poisonous spiders too, one of which is native to my city....WHY DO I LIVE HERE!!
Probably 2 or 3 of which are native to your city, assuming Sydney.

Here's a tip: When you have a hunstman living in your house, for gods sake keep it alive at all costs. ALL COSTS. If you have to cut off a piece of your flesh to feed it because it's hungry, do it.
Huntmans have a tendency to eat redbacks, funnelwebs and white tails. And as such, are more valuable than gold.
They're also extremely chill and you can generally pick it up and gently move it closer to your enemies with you bare hands. Just don't annoy them or move too quickly or they might bite you, and that's like getting bitten by a small dog with the size of their fangs.
 

Joccaren

Elite Member
Mar 29, 2011
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Eh. Don't go near it, you'll be fine. As you can see, the Camera man wasn't exactly eaten, but W/E. The wildlife ain't actually so bad if you live in the city/suburbs around here. Worst I've ever run into was a couple of Kangaroos at my bus stop, and they didn't cause any trouble.
 

malestrithe

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Aug 18, 2008
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I'm not really afraid of spiders, so....

I'm more afraid of the Manchineel, which is the most poisonous tree in the world. So dangerous that in Florida, you are not allowed to hunt alone until you can prove what it is by site. Don't eat the fruits because it can kill you. Breathe anywhere near it and you can die. Touch its sap and it blisters your skin.
 

madster11

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Aug 17, 2010
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Joccaren said:
Worst I've ever run into was a couple of Kangaroos at my bus stop, and they didn't cause any trouble.
Kangaroos are like people highly trained in martial arts.
If you're cool and don't mess with them, they'll leave you alone.
If you piss them off, they will fuck you up.
 

emmettr3

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Mar 24, 2012
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For all that we joke, Australian cities are no worse than European or American ones.
I, of course, live in suburbia, where my 70-year-old grandmother has to kill pythons with a shovel. I have thankfully avoided the outback.
 

arnoldthebird

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Sep 30, 2011
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Ahh...the joys of the Australian outback.

My dad and I took out to red belly black snakes on Christmas, great start to the morning. But I CAN NOT deal with spiders, fucking scary creatures....lucky I don't live in Sydney so the Funnel Web is not found near me.

But the mosquitoes here can be a huge pain in the ass, I kill about 300 per night, they love the lights
 

Rawne1980

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Jul 29, 2011
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Hazy992 said:
You know what, fuck it I'm moving to Antarctica. Let's see them get me there!
Just because it's funny...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arctic_wolf_spider

There is no escape mwahahahahaha

Vault101 said:
you see a snake...you eather run away or kill it
I no longer like you.
 

uguito-93

This space for rent
Jul 16, 2009
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seeing as how, being australian myself, I would usually be obliged to defend my home and state that its not as bad as everyone says, but I did find a snake just chilling out in one of Perth's metro area parks so... yeah...
 

the clockmaker

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Jun 11, 2010
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Oh, I forgot to mention, do not, I say again, do not attempt to use bug spray on a funnel web. The first and last time I tried that, she sat there patiently, occasionally turing around or taking a few steps towards me to let me know she was alive. Then the can ran out and she reared up waving her upper legs around in the air sprinted towards me.

use boots, big boots with thick soles. grind the fucker into the gound and salt the earth. come back in a month and place a fly on the scene every month for the next year to appease saint spider everitt or your footy team will never again be the premiers. This is the only way to defeat an Aussie spider.

Next up.... silver and why it has no effect on inland taipans.
 

Little2Raph

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Aug 27, 2011
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Australia. . .Fuck Yeah!

I can't remember where I first heard this; but no matter what we may say to the contrary, all aussies are secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
 

tkowski

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Mar 1, 2012
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Golden Orb spiders aren't the only ones to eat snakes, I've seen a redback do it as well. Lived here for 20 years, most of which has been in North Queensland, spent a lot of time out in the bush, seen a great many snakes and spiders, never been bitten. They're fine as long as you don't do something stupid and keep your eyes open. Please visit...Plus we need tourists to feed to them so they don't get hungry enough to eat us :)


Also, couldn't agree more, very proud of the killer fauna.
 

Revolutionary

Pub Club Am Broken
May 30, 2009
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Hate to point this out, but these spiders have been around longer than there have been white people in AUS. not exactly news. Also we don't kill them. We run.
 

ChadSexington

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Apr 14, 2011
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Lonely Packager said:
In Australia, we have a custom called, 'toughening of the men'.
All newborn male babies are abandoned in the great outback and it's up to them to find their way back home.
They must endure blistering heat, countless venomous creatures, lack of water and boxing kangaroos.
The only way to survive is to adapt to the environment - learning to live off nature and to be able to win a fight against an emu.
All babies that do not survive are deemed not worthy anyway. The ones that do survive grow up to be Saxton Hale equivalents.

True story.

Oh, and do not try to squash the spiders, that only makes them angrier.
My uncle didn't make it. He wasn't manly enough.

OT: You learn pretty early on which spiders are poisonous and when you come across them you get a shoe and squash them. As deadly as they may be they're still tiny and they're not hostile, it's just a precaution. The non deadly ones you leave be.

True story, back when I used to smoke pot I came across a red back spider whilst high (these ones are poisonous by the way). So I decided to blow smoke on it to get it high. I've seen them that many times they don't worry me. I think that about sums up Australian suburbia.
 

Vault101

I'm in your mind fuzz
Sep 26, 2010
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Rawne1980 said:
Vault101 said:
you see a snake...you eather run away or kill it
I no longer like you.
its better to kill it....I mean in other palces you can call certain people to come and "take care of it" for you (no killing)

"ahem" *puts of gruff voice* but out on the farm you cant have things that can kill you or your dogs crawling around unchecked, espeically when you have kids running around

I think my dad once told me he was doing somthing with a water tank (I or somthing liek that) and this big ass tiger snake rises from the water (like a god damn hydra) and comes at him...yeah apretnly tiger snakes like to swim

I once freaked out when I saw a snake on the outsode doormat (and the door was ajar enough so that it could have come in)

a freind also once told me a snake had come into the house..under her bed
 

the clockmaker

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Jun 11, 2010
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Rawne1980 said:
Vault101 said:
you see a snake...you eather run away or kill it
I no longer like you.
Mate, in all of of the half dozen rural towns in the three states that I have lived in in this country snakes are all well and good until they are on your property. We have yound them in my nephews bedroom, the woodpile, the garage. Sure if its chillin out in the back paddock, no wucking forrys but hte second that he is a threat to me and mine, I'm goin for that shovel.

That is the minority of situations though, normally I will take a few steps back, give him some space and then give him a wide berth but it still stands that you either walk (sudden movements are a bad idea with snakes) or kill it.
 

Funkysandwich

Contra Bassoon
Jan 15, 2010
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This is why I live in Melbourne. We don't get the nasty stuff down here.

Think Australian wildlife is bad, try going to Indonesia or Malaysia.
 

Vault101

I'm in your mind fuzz
Sep 26, 2010
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Ok...hunstsmen spiders

SURE theyre harmless....but theres enough meat on them to feed a small family

fuck those big..hariy...fuckers