X-Men First Class (contains spoilers)

[Etra488]

From an uber fan who's hip to canon and cognizant of the retcons, even to the first X-Men movie in 2000, First Class was a disappointment. I'll talk about some retcons, and ignore others, such as:
[ul][li]The really stupid and lame retard-version of Thirteen Days[/li]
[li]That the First Class isn't the real First Class[/li]
[li]Or that none of their powers actually work that way.[/li]
[li]Or that characters present in this movie are conspicuously absent in subsequent films.[/li]
[li]Seriously what the fuck? Beast didn't appear until Last Stand![/li]
[li]And Beast had a cameo in United debating the still-alive Sebastian Shaw, how could they fuck this up this badly?[/li]
[li]The part where it's fine for Magneto to drag an anchor through a ship, but can't fuck up the propellers of a submarine.[/li]
[li]Or that there are submarines that can detach from a cargo ship - that technology isn't cheap or easy. Even in 2011.[/li]
[li]Or that energy doesn't work that way. What, kinetic energy? Are you talking like, fucking friction? Really? Then shouldn't the coin sliding through his brain have given him an epiphany instead of instant death?[/li]
[li]Or that suddenly Cerebro was a CIA invention.[/li]
[li]Or that Magneto's helmet was Kevin Bacon's invention.[/li]
[li]Or that the Russians didn't have their own fleet around Cuba.[/li]
[li]So, Nightcrawler's dad, that guy, he's basically a living god as portrayed in the film. He just picks up Xavier and drops him off a cliff. Done. I mean what the fuck? Xavier can't see a bullet coming, so he's going to stop instant red death? Or gravity? Sure. Whatever. Fuck you First Class.[/li][/ul]

Here's the bottom line: I see where they were going with this. It was just done very badly. Great ideas, with terrible execution.

They wanted to explore Magneto's vengeance towards his escaped Nazi oppressors, show that he didn't come out of nowhere in 2000's X-Men. I got it.

Reshooting the Nazi Concentration Camp scene from the 2000 movie, shot-for-shot, albeit in a condensed version, just didn't work. It felt really cheap. The emotional impact from the first time around wasn't as meaningful as a repeat - and I didn't even know it was coming. But then the movie very awkwardly jumped to too many locations. I'm more interested in how Magneto escaped from Kevin Bacon than I am in seeing him kill a trio of Nazis in an Argentinian bar. What was their cooperation like? How did they fall out? Did Magneto hate Kevin Bacon the whole time? How much time did they spend together? That would have been interesting.

They wanted a dramatic historical backdrop, to emphasize the gravity of the situation. Kevin Bacon has a vendetta against humanity... because humans made him experiment and torture mutants? But wait, Kevin Bacon did that all on his own. During and after the Third Reich, Kevin Bacon was always in control of himself and his destiny. Why does Kevin Bacon have a vendetta against humanity? Yea he's a mutant-supremacist, but seeing as how it's apparent he was never at the mercy of humans, where would he build this much hostility?

So for the dramatic backdrop, they paint the picture that in addition to the escalating tensions of the Cold War, Kevin Bacon is maneuvering the two superpowers into a 3rd World War. The Cuban Missile Crises was just a proxy for Xavier and Magneto's fight against Kevin Bacon. That's brilliant! That's actually really clever, and it could have worked, if only they hadn't completely fucked everything up,

Locations and Characters
I already said that the movie jumps to too many locations. Count how many times a title card has to tell you where you are. Beyond that, individual rooms get used... at most three times. Usually, if you see a location, then that's it, you'll never see it again. Let's count the rooms you see more than one time:
[ul][li]The CIA lounge for the kid mutants.[/li]
[li]The USA/Russia situation room.[/li]
[li]The lounge and reactor room of Kevin Bacon's submarine.[/li][/ul]

And is that it? Really? I'm not asking that I see a repeat of 12 Angry Men, which is literally twelve guys in one room, for the entire movie. But that film can teach a lot of lessons. First Class has the plot moving at such a frantic pace, they never had time to use the environments. Every place they went was some throw-away location or the feature of a montage. I'm exempting the Xavier Institute training scenes because... well, it's a montage.

And then you have the characters - there were too many of them. You don't get to know anything about them. Hank and the Butterfly girl both have the same issue. Prof. X's thoughts on Jekyll and Hyde are completely applicable to the Butterfly girl, and probably not a stretch for Mystique. I think it's funny how Magneto can have two conversations with Mystique, and completely undermine decades of Xavier's propaganda. It is really pathetic how these characters are given the shallowest of arcs and depth.

They could have dropped half the kid mutants and one of the bad-guy mutants, and the story would be the same. None of the characters really mattered. Hell, if Kevin Bacon's submarine happened to be made out of plastic, Magneto wouldn't have had anything to do for the entire film. You think a plastic submarine is ridiculous? How about a nuclear submarine off of everyone's radar (sonar?) that can just operate all fine and dandy with no support fleet and no port-of-anchor. For reasons that should be completely obvious to everyone, you need more than four people to operate a nuclear submarine, and all four of those people need to at least be nuclear physicists. What does Emma Frost know about repairing faulty flaps on the ship's ballast? Nothing, because she's a pair of tits, that's what.

*** *** *** *** *** ***

And that's my first impressions.

The film reached so far, and was able to grasp so little of it. I mean, the captain of the American boat wore a helmet that had fucking captain written on it, in case it wasn't clear to the audience. Complex ideas were dumbed down so hardcore. There were too many characters stretching too little screen time.

It was just... all so sloppy. That's my word to describe this film: sloppy.

 

[WolfThomas]

I disagree as also a uber hip comic fan, I feel Matthew Vaughan managed to make a pretty coherent movie out of the cluster-fuck of continuity that the first three movies were. We all knew going in that it wasn't a straght adaption.

Kevin Bacon has a vendetta against humanity... because humans made him experiment and torture mutants? But wait, Kevin Bacon did that all on his own. During and after the Third Reich, Kevin Bacon was always in control of himself and his destiny. Why does Kevin Bacon have a vendetta against humanity? Yea he's a mutant-supremacist, but seeing as how it's apparent he was never at the mercy of humans, where would he build this much hostility?

His reasoning was that by starting nuclear war, the majority of humans would die and the mutants would surive by sheer fact of being awesome. He would then rule them. Okay not great but it was a motivation.

 

[Etra488]

At least the Russian they had has a track record of playing Russian characters. He was the Russian sniper in the Mark Wahlberg movie Shooter.

No no Hammer, the THREE worst Russians ever are as follows:

Harrison Ford in K-19: The Widowmaker
Sean Connery in Hunt for Red October
Paul Koslo in Robot Jox

 

[Aureliano]

I've said this elsewhere, but I need to repeat it because it's driving me insane.

Shaw wore a METAL HELMET to fight Magneto!

 

[manythings]

*look at my watch* I read the first part and then didn't care. You're wrong, the movie was great. Too bad.

 

[Phoenixmgs_v1legacy]

Firstly, I would like to say that I think it's great that the movies change stuff as long as it works. What's the point of going to see a live-action reenactment of a comic book story that you already know. I love that in comic book movies they can change up stuff and kill characters in a way the comics can't do.

From an uber fan who's hip to canon and cognizant of the retcons, even to the first X-Men movie in 2000, First Class was a disappointment. I'll talk about some retcons, and ignore others, such as:
[ul][li]The really stupid and lame retard-version of Thirteen Days[/li]

I thought they did a pretty good job mixing Cold War history into X-Men history. I love historical fiction and I felt it worked in First Class.

[li]That the First Class isn't the real First Class[/li]

It was how Xavier become a true "professor" and would go to create his "First Class." I don't think a title can affect the quality of the film no matter how bad it is.

[li]Or that none of their powers actually work that way.[/li]

I don't see what the problem is with changing up some powers and stuff. Again, that's part of the reason that makes comic book movies interesting; to see how they change up some things and create their own little alternate version of the comic book.

[li]Or that characters present in this movie are conspicuously absent in subsequent films.[/li]

When the first 2 X-Men movies were made, this current storyline wasn't even thought of at the time. It's expected to be some continuity issues. I don't have a great recollection of the first 2 X-Men films but I didn't notice any major continuity issues.

[li]Seriously what the fuck? Beast didn't appear until Last Stand![/li]

Last Stand got retconned thankfully. Singer and company didn't have anything to do with Last Stand, plus Last Stand sucked anyways. I actually saw Last Stand at a midnight showing and I wiped it from my memory after it ended.

[li]And Beast had a cameo in United debating the still-alive Sebastian Shaw, how could they fuck this up this badly?[/li]

That cameo was just basically a shout-out for fans, it wasn't part of the X2's plot or anything. Edit that short scene out of the movie.

[li]The part where it's fine for Magneto to drag an anchor through a ship, but can't fuck up the propellers of a submarine.[/li]

I noticed that as well when I watched the movie. I'm guessing Magneto wanted to kill him "personally" and not just have him dying in a falling submarine due to water pressure crushing the sub. Plus, Azazel could've teleported them out of the sub.

[li]Or that there are submarines that can detach from a cargo ship - that technology isn't cheap or easy. Even in 2011.[/li]

Really? You're complaining about this. It's not like they got in a TARDIS or something.

[li]Or that energy doesn't work that way. What, kinetic energy? Are you talking like, fucking friction? Really? Then shouldn't the coin sliding through his brain have given him an epiphany instead of instant death?[/li]

I'm guessing because Xavier was controlling his mind, he couldn't use his powers. Again, not a big issue.

[li]Or that suddenly Cerebro was a CIA invention.[/li]

Firstly, it was a cool twist that Beast invented it. It wasn't like a group of some random CIA scientists invented it.

[li]Or that Magneto's helmet was Kevin Bacon's invention.[/li]

It makes sense in the movie's timeline of events. The Hellfire group was obviously the most organized group of mutants at the time so it would make sense that the leader of the group would want a method of not being mind raped since he knew telepaths existed via Emma Frost.

[li]Or that the Russians didn't have their own fleet around Cuba.[/li]

The movie wasn't trying to exactly mirror the Cuban Missile Crisis.

[li]So, Nightcrawler's dad, that guy, he's basically a living god as portrayed in the film. He just picks up Xavier and drops him off a cliff. Done. I mean what the fuck? Xavier can't see a bullet coming, so he's going to stop instant red death? Or gravity? Sure. Whatever. Fuck you First Class.[/li]

Teleportation powers alone are pretty damn powerful when you think about it.

 

[Thespian]

[li]That the First Class isn't the real First Class[/li]

And yet you complain that it doesn't fit in with the continuity of the other films. Would you prefer they put Cyclops, Iceman, Angel and Beast in this movie, COMPLETELY fucking with the first films?

[li]Or that none of their powers actually work that way.[/li]

Oh please. The film captured the concepts behind each character's powers and summarised them for film adequately. The changes were irrelevant and worked cinematically

[li]Or that characters present in this movie are conspicuously absent in subsequent films.[/li]

The X-men and Brotherhood rosters changed radically throughout the comics as well. No reason why some of these characters could have left. Not everyone wanted to stay and help Charles set up his school, or work for Magneto forever.

[li]Seriously what the fuck? Beast didn't appear until Last Stand![/li]

Last Stand was an unholy aberration and the further away from it we get, the better.

[li]And Beast had a cameo in United debating the still-alive Sebastian Shaw, how could they fuck this up this badly?[/li]

That scene was hardly integral to the plot

[li]The part where it's fine for Magneto to drag an anchor through a ship, but can't fuck up the propellers of a submarine.[/li]

He may have been tired from before, or perhaps found it difficult to concentrate on crushing something spinning incredibly fast while he is drowning.

[li]Or that there are submarines that can detach from a cargo ship - that technology isn't cheap or easy. Even in 2011.[/li]

It's about as unrealistic as a faulty gene giving someone psychic powers.

[li]Or that energy doesn't work that way. What, kinetic energy? Are you talking like, fucking friction? Really? Then shouldn't the coin sliding through his brain have given him an epiphany instead of instant death?[/li]

Take that up with the source material, not the movie. Sebastian Shaw's powers were always energy absorption. Also, they don't work while his brain is shut off.

[li]Or that suddenly Cerebro was a CIA invention.[/li]
[li]Or that Magneto's helmet was Kevin Bacon's invention.[/li]

Working complicated origins into the film mythos is necessary. Sure these were a little outlandish, but they made some amount of sense.

[li]Or that the Russians didn't have their own fleet around Cuba.[/li]

That's why the movie is called X-men and not "Cuban Missile Crisis: A Historically Accurate Analysis"

[li]So, Nightcrawler's dad, that guy, he's basically a living god as portrayed in the film. He just picks up Xavier and drops him off a cliff. Done. I mean what the fuck? Xavier can't see a bullet coming, so he's going to stop instant red death? Or gravity? Sure. Whatever. Fuck you First Class.[/li][/ul]

You kinda underestimate the most powerful Psychic being on Earth here. He could sense Azazel and cast an illusion on him so that he teleports into a wall pretty easily. And besides, teleportation's always been like that, same with X2.

I thought X:FC was easily the best so far. Bolded my input.

 

[DJDarque]

As someone who has never read the comics and doesn't give a damn about how faithful to the comics the movie comes, I thought it was great. My problem was they broke the law of the conservation of energy. Energy cannot be created or destroyed, but when Magneto kills Shaw, what happens to all of the energy he's stored up? He's absorbed so much energy that once he dies and his mutation ceases to function he should literally explode, yet in the movie nothing happens.

 

[Sam Pateman]

Despite Magneto being able to create very strong magnetic fields, where is the conservation of energy in that? If the conservation of energy existed in the films, any body using high energy skills (Magneto, Havok or Riptide for example) would have to eat tens of thousands of calories every day to use their powers the way they do.

 

[flyingwithsharks]

I've said this elsewhere, but I need to repeat it because it's driving me insane.

Shaw wore a METAL HELMET to fight Magneto!

No. The real problem: Magneto didn't kill him with it.

 

[TheScottishFella]

If there was one problem with this film, for me was the fact that the writing on Eric's arm is black and not blue like in the first x-men film. However, it doesn't matter because it was a good film.

 

[matt66727]

I kinda think that when it comes to nearly all fiction films, realism has to be suspended. Nearly anyone could go through any film and point out inaccuracies in it. I think they did a pretty good job, considering how bad last stand was.

 

[Not-here-anymore]

I've said this elsewhere, but I need to repeat it because it's driving me insane.

Shaw wore a METAL HELMET to fight Magneto!

I wondered about this, and chose to assume it was ceramic or something instead. Is it ever actually stated (in the film, at least) that it's metal?

Meh. I really enjoyed the film, though the 'coin through the brain' thing seemed like it shouldn't have worked, unless the suggestion was that Xavier was suppressing Shaw's powers at the time.

 

[Gultark]

In a Film that features something as technologically advanced as Cerebro, you had trouble accepting cargo ship sub hybrid?

While i agree with some of your points and that having shaw be the nazi doctor just seemed like a cop out to get magneto involved with the CIA, other seem like being picky for pickys sake. I mean sure Azazel could teleport Xavier off a cliff, but what would be the point of that, limits have to be placed for the sake of cinema and entertainment.

 

[Prestige]

Might as well throw my two cents in.

I can see your point on a lot of these issues (and even agree with one or two), but it ultimately doesn't matter. As it stands, the movie is solid and well-made, and it's only your knowledge of the comics (outside information) that's prompting you to hate it. Am I annoyed at what they did with Shaw's powers? Yes. Did I think of several ways the plot could have ended sooner if people used their powers more intelligently? Absolutely. Did some of the scenes jar with the established continuity? Sure. Did Darwin deserve better than that? Damn straight.

But.

None of that matters. We're the only ones who care about it. Us, right here on the internet. We read the comics, we saw the show, and suffered through X3, but it's still not for us. It's for anyone who wants to see a superhero movie and has cash to spend. Case in point, my roommates (and family, and several friends) saw it, had no idea what was going on, and had a really good time. That's all the directors really care about (well, and making a profit). It's a solid movie, I had a pretty good time overall, and any gripes I have are overshadowed by my feeling that it was ultimately worth the $5.50 I paid, and that's good enough for me.

 

[Etra488]

If that's how you feel Prestige, then we ought to just legalize pot and be done with it.

In my opinion, movie audiences are far too forgiving of mediocrity and compromises. This movie was both over-produced and under-worked. They tried so hard to be all things to everyone, and were half-assed about following up with every part of it.

If this movie is what's going to pass for quality entertainment, then we ought to have some mind-altering substances going around, just so we have the excuse for praising something so bad.

 

[Fwee]

I liked it, and think it's the best X-Men movie to date.
I would love to iron out all the (supposed) wrinkles that have been highlighted in this post, but just don't want to take the time to do so.
All right, just a little:
Sebastian Shaw has been alive for we-don't-know-how-long in this movie. He's been obviously working with all kinds of people in his life, including the Nazis, the U.S., Russia, probably any country that has money to burn and large military budgets. He's rich, and has access to technologies from all over the world.
Mystique and Xavier have a complex relationship, and she's obviously getting to the point where she's going to head out on her own.
Arguing how powers work is absolutely BRAIN-DEAD. If you think one power shouldn't work, guess what? NO POWERS SHOULD WORK. BECAUSE THEY DON'T FUCKING EXIST.

And yeah there were some hokey bits to the movie too. I thought Darwin was just thrown away to try to get some unnecessary drama in there. How many secret service men got killed in that scene? And they don't matter, but one mutant gets blown up, and NOW we're supposed to feel sad?
Angel (why is she calling herself that?) looked pretty silly when flying. Pretty DAMN silly. And so did Beast when he went all blue.
And I almost started laughing when Magneto used "Jazz Hands!" with the most serious look on his face. I also wasn't into the coin thing at the end, but how else could they have stopped the guy without killing him, or killed him any other way.

If that's how you feel Prestige, then we ought to just legalize pot and be done with it.

Shouldn't we just do that anyway?

 

[Prestige]

I liked it, and think it's the best X-Men movie to date.

If that's how you feel Prestige, then we ought to just legalize pot and be done with it.

Shouldn't we just do that anyway?

I've got no real stance one way or another concerning legalization of marijuana, but that's beside the point; the two topics have nothing to do with one another. I didn't praise it. I gave my honest opinion and was just trying to point out that, at the end of the day, It was worth the price of admission for me, and and I came away feeling it was probably the best of the X-Men films. It's not brilliant or awe-inspiring and, as I said, there's a lot I dislike about it, but it is a good time. Etra, if you're really disappointed with the attitude of today's movie audiences, then try to do something about it. Get a group of people together and try to get better movies made. I'll applaud you if something positive comes of it (I love a good flick; I took my username from a Nolan film), but I'm not going to let someone else's (valid) opinion keep me from enjoying the film on my own (equally valid) terms. I enjoyed the movie, you didn't, but the studio doesn't care as long as they make a buck (which I also have no problem with).