Y U NO HAV THREAD ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS, ESCAPIST?!

[Elochai_IV]

Alright; before I'm bombarded with insults for one reason or another, let's just get straight to the point... I see Forums about technological stuff on here; Which soundboard is the best, Graphics cards, etcetera etcetera. So I'm thinking, this advice section is all technological and whatnot.
Then I see one about something to do about a Diet... and I think... 'Why don't I make a thread about my problem...'
Sure, it's not a great move, I should deal with it myself, in my own way.
But I was never good at that, when it came to girls..
So my question is;

I really, really like this girl at my school. I'm a Year 12, she's a Year 11. No problem as far as that's concerned.
She apparently likes someone, won't tell me who (We're pretty close), but get's really shy whenever I mention it. I have a good feeling it's me, but I don't want to get my hopes up, because there are other things that make it seem very much less obvious; She hugs another guy, and I sometimes get the feeling I've been friend-zoned...

Ideas/Suggestions would be appreciated.
This is to help anyone else in my position too. ^_^

 

[Dalek Caan]

You might as well just come out and ask her. If you keep putting it off then you might lose that chance. I've been there, it's not nice. Just make sure you don't barrage her with questions. That probably wouldn't help.

 

[s0p0g]

besides that there are plenty of threads tackling the same or at least similar problems as you have:

listen to the ChromaticWolfen; many have been in your situation, and as you probably know, you have to options: do nothing and screw up for certain, or grab the chance: sure, if you tell her you like her, and it's not mutual, chances are you won't have much to do with one another in the future - but as stupid as it sounds, even IF (not when, IF) that's the case, life does go on, even if it doesn't feel like that for some time

but you said you have a hunch she likes you, too, so chances are good, wouldn't you think?
also, a friend of mine (and by that i of course speak about a friend of mine, not myself) had a crush on a girl for years - many years, 7 to be exact; because he never told her anything, and carried that with him, which dragged him down and wore him out
until
one day, finally, he asked her if she had time some afternoon, met her at a cafe, talked to her, explained his feelings - which were not mutual in his case - but he then was able to move on and look forward

so
do yourself the biggest favour possible: tell her
simple as that, honest

(also, you'll feel like a hero for doing what... billions of people already have done before you, but still!)

 

[Limecake]

you definitely need to tell her how you feel, being friendzoned is the worst and no matter what you tell yourself it is NOT worth being a girls friend if you want to be more than that.

just be relaxed and calm about everything, when you ask her out see if she wants to go get some coffee or something (usually I say go get some drinks but that might not be in your wheelhouse) avoid things like movies (can't talk in them) and dinners (I find they are pretty 'big' dates, especially for a first date)

Just tell her how you feel, don't be sappy about it or write her a poem or anything. Just tell her that you want to be more than friends and see how she reacts. Be prepared to walk away from the situation though, if she doesn't feel the same about you. You don't have to be rude but from experience I can tell you, being friendzoned is not worth it.

 

[Phasmal]

Alright; before I'm bombarded with insults for one reason or another, let's just get straight to the point... I see Forums about technological stuff on here; Which soundboard is the best, Graphics cards, etcetera etcetera. So I'm thinking, this advice section is all technological and whatnot.
Then I see one about something to do about a Diet... and I think... 'Why don't I make a thread about my problem...'
Sure, it's not a great move, I should deal with it myself, in my own way.
But I was never good at that, when it came to girls..
So my question is;

I really, really like this girl at my school. I'm a Year 12, she's a Year 11. No problem as far as that's concerned.
She apparently likes someone, won't tell me who (We're pretty close), but get's really shy whenever I mention it. I have a good feeling it's me, but I don't want to get my hopes up, because there are other things that make it seem very much less obvious; She hugs another guy, and I sometimes get the feeling I've been friend-zoned...

Ideas/Suggestions would be appreciated.
This is to help anyone else in my position too. ^_^

Ask her out.
The friend zone isn't real.
It's just something guys make up so they can pretend if they had gotten in there quicker the girl would magically have been attracted to them, and something girls make up so they can be friends with an ugly guy without putting his hopes up.

Anyway, ask her out.
What do you have to lose?
If you do, you may get to go out with her.
If you don't, you will not.

 

[Hoiafar]

Do what these other people tell you. I was in almost exactly the same position (girl interested in someone, no idea who), what I did was just ask her out to the cinema, a very shy and transparent move, but it got me the results I wanted.
Unfortunately I didn't get her, as I was not the one, still had a great time though. Easiest would probably be to just ask her though, and not have to waste money like me.
If you just sit there on your bum she will most likely occupy your thoughts for every day until she ends up with someone, or if it was you she was interested in, get dissapointed in you and you will have lost your chance. Move now and be done with it, if you're lucky you've got a good girl to call your girlfriend, if not you'll most likely still keep her as a friend and will be able to go on with your life.

 

[JesterRaiin]

I see Forums about technological stuff on here; Which soundboard is the best, Graphics cards, etcetera etcetera. So I'm thinking, this advice section is all technological and whatnot.
Then I see one about something to do about a Diet... and I think... 'Why don't I make a thread about my problem...'

Most people aren't aware that Advice subsection exists in the first place.
Plenty of people who come here post their problems, get some answers and disappear never to be heard again.
Almost none reads earlier posts (which is a little disappointing, since, we've already dealt here with almost every possible problem you can think of).

That's why this place seems a little unorganized or single purpose oriented.

Ideas/Suggestions would be appreciated.

There are plenty of reasons that place people in the friendzone. Sometimes it's very difficult to see it coming. Sometimes it's misunderstanding. Sometimes it's a matter of bad timing.

However, there's only one reason that will make people stay in friendzone forever : unwillingness to change it.

You both are still very young. There's nothing wrong with it, but please, don't forget that you're supposed to make plenty of errors - that's how you gain experience that'll help you later.

In your current situation : talk. Don't push, don't force anything, don't make anyone feel ashamed, simply talk. Express your feelings, express your thinking. People - including your girl-friend - may not know what's really going on around, or they may not be sure what they really think or want. Talk.

Dialogue is the keyword for most problems.

 

[Elochai_IV]

Alright, I don't want to be the type of person that makes a thread, reads the answers, and then never says anything on it again...

I just wanted to come back and say, thank-you, to all of you :') I spoke to her about it, last Wednesday in fact. I'd finished explaining how I felt, and just as she was about to give her opinion on the matter, BAM! Lunch time was over... So I walked her to the bus stop, as always, and we spoke a little bit about it. Long story short, she thinks very little of herself, and doesn't understand what I see in her. I explained that I thought she was beautiful, kind, considerate, funny, and an absolute joy to be around, and she giggled and blushed and hid her face and all that kind of cute stuff. I asked her out shortly after too, the first girl I've ever asked out (And I'm 17, nearly 18. Sad, right?)
Initially, she said she wasn't sure, but she was giggly and blushing and whatnot, and later that night, she asked me what we were doing the next day after school (I'd asked her out for that specific time) and... well,we went out
But I was paranoid that she thought it was just us hanging out, not a date. Much to my disappointment, later that night she told me 'About today, It can't be a date, I'm sorry'

For some reason, the next three or so days, I was really depressive about it. She got really worried, and said she felt guilty. I told her she had nothing to feel guilty about, that I was fine (I had initially told her I was fine, and I thought I was doing a good job of pretending that I was. She knew I wasn't though...)

Now, it's like we're much closer though. She's actually asking me to go and do things with her, she gets really worried about little things, like my taking a train into the city on Saturday, things like that. And, I still get the feeling that she does have feelings for me... Maybe it's too soon for a relationship, I thought.

So I've decided to give it some time, and prove to her that I am good enough for her even if I don't think so myself

But I really wanted to thank you, all of you n.n Yeah, my IRL mates had said "Just tel her, bro." and stuff like that. But none of them were considerate enough to spell it out so clearly for me, as you all have done. You've done me a great kindness, friends. And I am deeply appreciative of it.

 

[Giftfromme]

Lol if You don't think you're good enough for her, then you really aren't and she can probably sense the self doubt in you. Do you think if she said yes that everything would suddenly become awesome and solve all your problems? You need to work on yourself first and don't let others dictate who you are