Yahtzee to review Final Fantasy XIII...?

[Seldon2639]

I asked myself the same question. I've actually played the game and it's not really that bad, and the graphics are absolutely beautiful and the level system is quite intuitive, while the combat is totally different from most games. It's probably one of the best Final Fantasy games to date.

You want to know why??

IT BODILY RIPS EVERYTHING OF FROM A GAME THAT'S ALREADY DONE IT BETTER!!!

But I digress. Yahtzee will hate it, but I guess it's all about the presentation, I suppose. Like people inexplicably like Avatar, even though the story was utterly predictable and we've all seen it before, it was presented well enough people could get over that for... some reason.

So... It takes elements from other games where they were good, but which had other elements which weren't as good? Combing the best parts from different sources into a glorious whole?

That seems less like a 'rip-off' and more like something being distilled from other good things. Or are you claiming that every game should be completely novel, even if novelty means it has to suck?

 

[Dimbo_Sama]

HE'S GOING TO ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATE IT.

As opposed to any other game he "reviews"?

Believe it or not some of his reviews were about games he liked, he's just a cynic so even if he's praising something he still sees the bad and makes it sound like he hates it. Just look at the Silent Hill 2 review.

He's a CRITIC, he has to find criticism for these things! Nothing is perfect and you're going to be upset even going into a game if you weren't warned to be mindful of it's flaws before you started. He just boils things down to what works and what doesn't work without going into meticulous detail and he does it in a hillarious manner.

also it's not a rumour he is actualy reviewing it soon (according to his twitter) and he's fucking hating it.

I only have a week to play FF13 before I review it but I just can't subject myself to more than two hours of this drivel per day

Yeah, I hate JRPG gameplay, but the story, characters, dialogue and environments are all doing my head in too

 

[LordDalawing]

Can't you feel all the FF fanboys hating coming up?

 

[Sethzard]

Look at his twitter, he is going to.

 

[TheSupremeForce]

IT BODILY RIPS EVERYTHING OF FROM A GAME THAT'S ALREADY DONE IT BETTER!!!

i am confused and intrigued...
... how exactly does it do that?


and ofcourse as a counter point...
how is that exactly any diffrent from Those games which stole their ideas from a Final Fantasy game?

I don't want to make a post that takes up three or four pages, so I'll just use the combat as an example. I'm serious, the combat is near identical to Persona 4. Not to mention most of the characters have already been done and done better in previous Final Fantasy games.
This differs because, just from what I've seen, these characters have no defining features whatsoever.
Hope=Tidus, Lightning=Cloud, Vanille=Selphie/Rikku, Snow=Seifer etc.
As opposed to previous games, where they borrow heavily from their previous titles, but they give them some sort of defining characteristic.
Take Squall for example. He's similar to Cloud in almost every way, right down to the meteorological name, but his character evolves completely differently and his design is completely different. If you do a side-by-side of Tidus and Hope, they look almost identical.
Wow, sorry, I rambled there. ^_^

How is the combat in FF13 almost exactly like the combat in Persona 4? There are a few vague similarities, but the combat and pacing are quite different.

You either haven't played the game much, or you're absolutely terrible at this. Hope doesn't act like Tidus. Lightning isn't all that Cloudish once she starts to actually develop (which is something Cloud never does). If anything, FF13 does characters vastly better than any of the games you're claiming "did the characters better."

 

[xwhitey]

Ok i dont know why some people are going on about it takes 20hrs for the game to open up. I have played the game i have also completed the game and my play time wait for it 35hrs 33mins and 21sec (thats ehat it said on the save point).

O.T we all know hes going to rip the piss.

On a different point i did have a lot of fun playing the game and onlike most single player games this had a bit of life in it like ME2 12hrs to finsh. people may not like the game or jrpgs all together but at lest they put a lot of time into making there games. 5 years for final fanasy 13. A game well made if you liked it or not.

 

[Zing]

Cool, then the review will be hilarious. At least the review will be easy for him to write. I imagine he'll do GoW soon, and I imagine a game such as that would be much harder to review (praise reviews are less funny, some think).

Anyway, I figured it would've been Bad Company 2 this week. But we'll see I guess.

 

[PopcornAvenger]

Oh look at that, you did Yahtzee's review for him! Now he'll just take the week off!

For JRPG fanboys this has to be thier worst nightmare.

A JRPG fanboy's worst nightmare is to have people play and talk about JRPGs? What?

If it's Yahtzee, yes, lol.

The only reason I hope he reviews certain games is because I want to hear him rip them apart. I know, I know, schadenfreude. JRPG's aren't my cup of tea either, so I hope (and have already suggested) he review it.

Of course, if it's a game I actually like, such as Bioshock2, I cringe since I feel I'm on the receiving end of his ire. Still, I watch 'em anyway. Then I accuse him of being a Valve fanboi, hehe.

 

[feeqmatic]

Ok i dont know why some people are going on about it takes 20hrs for the game to open up. I have played the game i have also completed the game and my play time wait for it 35hrs 33mins and 21sec (thats ehat it said on the save point).

O.T we all know hes going to rip the piss.

On a different point i did have a lot of fun playing the game and onlike most single player games this had a bit of life in it like ME2 12hrs to finsh. people may not like the game or jrpgs all together but at lest they put a lot of time into making there games. 5 years for final fanasy 13. A game well made if you liked it or not.

So how long did it take you to get to grand pulse?

Cause your playtime sounds exactly like what i have heard. 20 hours of monotonous grind to get to grand pulse, the game opens up and another 15-20 hours (depending on how much sidetracking you do) til endgame.

Regardless I know I played 14 hours (3 hours or so grinding) and I had just started chapt 6. Grandpulse isnt til 11. and there are only what 14 chapters from what i hear? which means the majority of the game is Devil May cry but with much less fun combat.

Im sorry, I have only been a FF player since 10, loved X2, REAAALLLY loved 12, (dont do mmorpgs) but this was boring. Ill rebuy it over the summer when I have time and finish it, but for now im on magna carta.

 

[funksobeefy]

Haha, I hope he does it just to troll all the FF fanboys.

I actually want to play this game, but cant get past the cliched JRPGness of it. I think that if Yahtzee says its bearable, my less hater attitude should be able to stand it and enjoy the ride.

 

[TraumaHound]

One thing he mentioned in his recent interview on 4zzz (102.1FM Brisbane)'s "Zedgames" [http://www.4zzzfm.org.au/] was that someone told him after he gets through the first 20 hours of boring gameplay it gets good. He then said something that equated to that being a terrible way to design a game (it was on at 1am here in Seattle, can't remember all the details; wish they had it for download on their site.)

So, yeah, I don't see him liking the game. I also don't know how he can properly review such a lengthy RPG since his play-times are less than a week per game; unless he sits on it for another week or so to get through more of the game.

 

[Gildan Bladeborn]

Can't you feel all the FF fanboys hating coming up?

To be entirely honest, I'm hoping he's deluged with so much hate mail that he feels the need to devote an entire episode making fun of the people who emailed him complaining about his review. Sure, we have him doing that now via Extra Punctuation to some extent, but you can't tell me the mailbag video dealing with all the hatemail from Smash Bros. fans wasn't hysterical.

 

[sephiroth1991]

He'll hate it that much is certain.

Read his twitter, he shows signs of ZOMG not likeing it

 

[Sassafrass]

I am dreading the review.

Not because he'll kick the living shit out of a game I am getting into and is making a firm case for my top 5 favourite games, he does that to almost all the games he reviews and it is quite funny sometimes. It is his job, after all.
No, what I am dreading is the endless, endless, endless quoting of the review by his fanboys.

That is what will piss me off the most about the review.
I swear, after the review, if I see one single thread that quotes Yahtzee in the OP, I will e-kick the holy shit out of whoever it is.
I can promise you that.

And end pointless threats to a bunch of fanboys that will now proceed to do just that.

 

[Arcane Azmadi]

I can't BELIEVE the number of people responding to this thread who seem to have COMPLETELY missed my point.

 

[one of them]

Well I never really saw Yahtzee as a true critic anyway, since the only reason people watch him is because it's funny to watch him trash games. If he isn't trashing a game then it isn't funny, and people will begin to lose interest. Not to say I don't like Yahtzee, but you can't go to him if you want to know what games to buy.

 

[Naheal]

According to a rumour I heard, Yahtzee recently recieved copies of Halflife 2: Episode 3, Starcraft: Ghost and Zone of the Enders 3.

Reviews are forthcoming.

According to a rumor, Yahtzee recieved a copy of Duke Nukem Forever [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/748-Duke-Nukem-Forever] and gave it great scores.