Yes, Another thread about a girl.

[manic_depressive13]

She's insane. I suggest removing yourself from the situation. You will both be happier.

 

[fishman279]

Just have fun? Tell her you want to go out with her, and then just go out and have fun.

Dont worry about being 'boyfriend and girlfriend', just go out and have fun[/I]. She'll make her mind up eventually.

I have told her how I feel. She knows now. Also, she's coming round to my place on monday, after today putting her legs across me while she worked. But do you really think she'll just...make up her mind? Since this whole thing started she's been really keen to spend time with me, asking me to go to places with her, saying she'll miss me if I don't go to school... I don't know how to react because this could either be her getting closer to me, or just her acting "friendly" again. If you think just waiting for her to make up her mind is the best option... Well I don't know really, that's why I'm here. I really want to just TALK to her about this, but maybe on monday, when we're alone together outside of school? Waiting until then is going to be insanely hard, especially seeing as she's all I think about these days.

 

[TheBanMan_v1legacy]

I have told her how I feel. She knows now. Also, she's coming round to my place on monday, after today putting her legs across me while she worked. But do you really think she'll just...make up her mind? Since this whole thing started she's been really keen to spend time with me, asking me to go to places with her, saying she'll miss me if I don't go to school... I don't know how to react because this could either be her getting closer to me, or just her acting "friendly" again. If you think just waiting for her to make up her mind is the best option... Well I don't know really, that's why I'm here. I really want to just TALK to her about this, but maybe on monday, when we're alone together outside of school? Waiting until then is going to be insanely hard, especially seeing as she's all I think about these days.

There is also something to be said for just talking something to death. If you've both made your feelings known I'd tread lightly about rehashing it all; just ends up going in circles.

That being said, if her getting "friendly" is sending you mixed signals, let her know. Be tactful, of course, but just say that you aren't quite sure how to take it. She seems to be acting like one would expect a couple to be, but has also stated she doesn't want that/isn't ready for it...

Could be she has come around.
Could be she is "testing the waters" to your earlier point about not seeing you as more than a friend.
Could be anything, really.

I'd have the talk and, if it is only friendly and you aren't comfortable with it, set some ground rules. Again, it's all in how you approach it. You obviously care for her, but you need to look out for your own emotional sanity at the same time.

As a 3rd party looking in (granted with a one sided view) it sounds like you two are in a relationship, even if it's not being termed that way. It may come down to how important the ability to definitively state "this is my girlfriend" is to you. After all, it is just a label. I've been there before where she blatantly told me she wasn't seeing anyone else, but didn't want to refer to me as her boyfriend yet we clearly were a couple. Depends on your take on the matter, I suppose.

Best of luck!

 

[fishman279]

There is also something to be said for just talking something to death. If you've both made your feelings known I'd tread lightly about rehashing it all; just ends up going in circles.

That being said, if her getting "friendly" is sending you mixed signals, let her know. Be tactful, of course, but just say that you aren't quite sure how to take it. She seems to be acting like one would expect a couple to be, but has also stated she doesn't want that/isn't ready for it...

Could be she has come around.
Could be she is "testing the waters" to your earlier point about not seeing you as more than a friend.
Could be anything, really.

I'd have the talk and, if it is only friendly and you aren't comfortable with it, set some ground rules. Again, it's all in how you approach it. You obviously care for her, but you need to look out for your own emotional sanity at the same time.

As a 3rd party looking in (granted with a one sided view) it sounds like you two are in a relationship, even if it's not being termed that way. It may come down to how important the ability to definitively state "this is my girlfriend" is to you. After all, it is just a label. I've been there before where she blatantly told me she wasn't seeing anyone else, but didn't want to refer to me as her boyfriend yet we clearly were a couple. Depends on your take on the matter, I suppose.

Best of luck!

Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. I don't want to kill it by being too "full-on" (IE: wanting more faster than she does) when what she's doing is just taking it slow possibly. That's exactly what it did when I sat down with her for 2 hours the other day, it just went around in circles without either of us getting any assurances.

She is doing exactly that. A few of my friends recently asked me if we were going out (When I say recently, I mean after I asked her out), I really don't know what to answer them. She's acting as if we're already in a relationship whilst denying it, she doesn't act the same around other guys, she literally goes out of her way to spend time with me.

I'm pretty sure that if it IS just "friendly", I'm not comfortable with it at all, that would be seriously unfair on me, her knowing how I feel about her yet her staying so close to me all the same. Literally, the mixed signals are driving me insane. Which makes me agree with you, I need to talk about it with her again, in a different environment this time (IE: at my place).

I don't really care about the term "Girlfriend", I just... I like her. A lot. And I'm acting as if we're together, like I act when I've been with other girls, except with her, there's not the usual..."couple" things (kissing etc). I'd describe what we are at the moment like a relationship, but without most of the intimacy (There's obviously some small bit of intimacy there).

As I said right at the beginning, if she'd just turned me down by saying "You're just a friend", I would've accepted it and moved on. It's all this "I had moments with you where I could see us together", cuddling up to me, resting her legs on me, generally wanting to be around me... That's what's bothering me.

I'm not going to be seeing her tomorrow, that'll give me (and her) some time apart to think maybe. I don't know.

Thanks man, you've been a real help to me.

 

[zuro64]

I know everyone must be bored of these by now, but I'm so confused I have no idea who to turn to.

Basically, there's this girl, she's in my class and I met her about 3 months ago. Long story short, I developed feelings for her, and everyone who saw us together thought we were dating, because we were so close, she would let me stroke her thigh, she would rest her head on my shoulder, she asked me round her house to meet her parents... I was so sure that she liked me too. I asked her out, and at first she said that she saw me as a friend. I was gutted, but I would've been fine with that, I would have moved on. But afterwards she starts telling me that she had these "moments" with me where she thought to herself that we should go out and how she's never been this close to a boy in her life. Then she starts giving me other reasons, like how she doesn't want to grow up yet and that she hates change.... Things like that. That was 2 days ago.

We sat down for two hours just now, talking about it all, because we have been stuck in a vicious circle of sadness ever since (She feels guilty, so she's sad, so I'm sad that I've made her sad, which makes her guilty...) where she admits to me that she's "on the fence", leaning towards friendship but she admits that there's something between us and that she envisages something to happen between us "some day". Then without warning she got quite upset (read: crying her eyes out) after a while about not wanting anything to change (as in, her life, leaving home etc), so I calm her down, as usual. She left me tonight with a distraught look on her face, kissing me on the cheek and saying "I'm so confused."

So basically I have no idea what to do, I thought I'd been friendzoned but... Now I just feel that even SHE doesn't know what she wants. I don't know... Any help at all would be appreciated because I am just so confused about it all. Thanks.

This might seem strange, but do things have to change between you?
Let me explain what I mean:
You both like eachother and clearly have some feelings to, you act some what like your together and people have thought that you were, you have already met her parents(wich im guessing wasent like she just brought a friend over one evening), so why does things have to change?
Is it that you want more or just the stamp that says that your together?
Because saying that you are together doesent mean things have to change(since that's one of her arguements). You can just continue as normal and see where things lead! Nothing has to change unless you want to!
I know a few that havent really made any changes in there relationship and still just growed together in time!

It is always easier for someone like me just standing on the sideline and telling you what to do, but i know its not that easy being the player and doing the right thing at that moment!

That the main question im asking you is: do things have to change?
Find the answer to that and your solution is near, might not be what either of you want but it will resolve the matter at hand!