You are hired to stop the invention of the common toilet.
- Thread starter AMMO Kid
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Oh, of course. So he would never approach you with the time machine and you'd be stuck in a TIME PARADOX?!mjc0961 said:
Unless it turns out you are his father. Weird.
Then there is going back In time, sleeping with his mom, so he doesn't exist. You could make the I slept with your mom joke, but then again he wouldn't exist.The Shade said:
you know this is the single weirdest thread I posted in I like it ok here's mineAMMO Kid said:
I would tell him the toilet will cause great evil and bring the destruction of the world and tell him that he must give me the blueprints and hide the blueprints in one place where no one will find them, take the money, then create the toilets and more profits off of them, then sell copies of blueprints to outhouse companies making more money then I'll be set for life
Well chances are that if I went back in time to uninvent the toilet a series of events would occur that would likely result in a different sperm fertilizing my mom's egg ergo resulting in me not existing. So no, 65 million dollars wouldn't be enough.
Now, if I was self destructive I'd make my own toilet design and release it before the toilet's supposed to be invented. So toilet's would exist but they would be marginally different.
Now, if I was self destructive I'd make my own toilet design and release it before the toilet's supposed to be invented. So toilet's would exist but they would be marginally different.
Hrm.. random insanity eh?
Ok.
Go to the generation before the invention of the toilet and become the inventor of the condom, thus decreasing the likelyhood Thomas Crapper would be born in the first place (Yes I know its an urban legend)
Go to the future first, and find the technology that had since replaced the toilet. Then take the schematics back to the past and introduce it there.
Craft a modified toilet that I would claim would be what the toilet would evolve into, that includes a penatrative suction pump and is edged with needles for the purpose of lancing hemmoroids.
Drug Amy Winehouse and take her back. Then show the inventor saying that this is what humanity has evolved into thanks to the toilet.
Take a video of two girls one cup for display and explain that thanks to the invention of the toilet, it spawned a global fetish where activities such as what is displayed in the video are considered childrens programming.
Drag courtney Love and Sarah jessica parker along. Then pump them full of drugs and coerce them into a vile lesbian show for the inventor. The inventor would either choke to death or die of dehydration from the never ending wretch of induced vomiting.
Ehh, these are starting to run together, ill post more when my meds wear off a little more.
Ok.
Go to the generation before the invention of the toilet and become the inventor of the condom, thus decreasing the likelyhood Thomas Crapper would be born in the first place (Yes I know its an urban legend)
Go to the future first, and find the technology that had since replaced the toilet. Then take the schematics back to the past and introduce it there.
Craft a modified toilet that I would claim would be what the toilet would evolve into, that includes a penatrative suction pump and is edged with needles for the purpose of lancing hemmoroids.
Drug Amy Winehouse and take her back. Then show the inventor saying that this is what humanity has evolved into thanks to the toilet.
Take a video of two girls one cup for display and explain that thanks to the invention of the toilet, it spawned a global fetish where activities such as what is displayed in the video are considered childrens programming.
Drag courtney Love and Sarah jessica parker along. Then pump them full of drugs and coerce them into a vile lesbian show for the inventor. The inventor would either choke to death or die of dehydration from the never ending wretch of induced vomiting.
Ehh, these are starting to run together, ill post more when my meds wear off a little more.
The toilet is such an obvious invention, If one person hadn't invented it some one eles would have. So my anser is tell the inventer to make some small alterations to it and call it the 'turlet' instead.
If I stop them from inventing the Toilet then someone else will just invent another one. So my plan...
Invent a better toilet before they invent theirs. It'll be simple, just call it something other then the Toilet. Something cool like... The Waster or The Flusher.
I'll be famous, we don't have to give up anything, and it's probably advance our society a couple hundred years.
Invent a better toilet before they invent theirs. It'll be simple, just call it something other then the Toilet. Something cool like... The Waster or The Flusher.
I'll be famous, we don't have to give up anything, and it's probably advance our society a couple hundred years.
Dude, if you took that job you got ripped off - they're a fucking time travel agency - they can literally make money - they know all the lottery numbers, every race, game and fight result EVER, infinite time to gain interest and perfect insider knowledge to the entire stockmarket... FOREVER. That's not even taking into account inflation from whatever era they're taking the cash from - 65 million might be pocket change in a few millennia, heh.AMMO Kid said:
Basically, I'd just take the time manipulator and run, delete the agency from time (if they tried to stop me) and be a God amongst man. Quick nip into the future for immortality and sorted
First of all let me note that its hilarious looking at the responses on this thread. I'm not even talking about the ligit ones, more of the "what the fuck" ones. Seriously guys people ***** because all the threads are the same, then something unusal comes up and people don't know what to do. Its hilarious guys.
Now what would I do? If we were of the belief that Time wasn't linear and that actions could be affected rather than simply going in a complete cycle. I would keep eliminating the person's plans as they were about to make a break through. I would do this by starting with the original person and moving back to the future to see who had picked up the idea next. Sure fire way of killing the concept. Then invent and make millions.
Now what would I do? If we were of the belief that Time wasn't linear and that actions could be affected rather than simply going in a complete cycle. I would keep eliminating the person's plans as they were about to make a break through. I would do this by starting with the original person and moving back to the future to see who had picked up the idea next. Sure fire way of killing the concept. Then invent and make millions.
You assume that stopping the original inventor would stop any one after him. Which is incorrect. I Honestly wouldn't even begin to accept this job, as it would probably take multiple years of my own life to stop every person who tries to invent the toilet.
I'd take whatever money they forwarded to me and escape through time!
I'd take whatever money they forwarded to me and escape through time!
The only ways to properly acheive this would be either;
1. to invent something that made the toilet unnecessary before the toilet was invented, or
2. if option 1 is not possible, to somehow shape each human civilisation around the idea of putting our crap to some specific purpose, that way the invention of even the outhouse would be seen as heretical or downright insane.
Option 2 isn't as reliable, as a civilisation's goals and desires shift depending on its needs. If nothing else, it would lead to wars over what we do with our shit. More likely it simply wouldn't work.
1. to invent something that made the toilet unnecessary before the toilet was invented, or
2. if option 1 is not possible, to somehow shape each human civilisation around the idea of putting our crap to some specific purpose, that way the invention of even the outhouse would be seen as heretical or downright insane.
Option 2 isn't as reliable, as a civilisation's goals and desires shift depending on its needs. If nothing else, it would lead to wars over what we do with our shit. More likely it simply wouldn't work.
You sir have accomplished a great thing, you are not Dana Snyder yet I have laughed, you earn an internets and a friend request.The Shade said:
I know for a fact that the last name of the guy who invented it was "crapper", I'll dress in my weirdest outfit possible (to convince him I'm from the future) and say that his name became an a terrible insult