You Are Now President of the Entire Entertainment Industry, Enforce Your Will

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cojo965

New member
Jul 28, 2012
1,650
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It doesn't matter what country it is, you have been given control over the entire entertainment industry. Impose your legislation on whatever pisses you off about the industry. For me?

Pre-order bonuses: this is so illegal that we can legally steal your car, hype up a super improved version of it, but not let you pick it up until you pay us up-front, only when you go to get it, it is worth only worth half the price because YOU DIDN'T GO TO THE RIGHT FUCKING DEALER! Except it will never be what we hyped up because every dealer has a different set of features in the car, but they will always be worth exactly the same. SEE! THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE!

Arbitrary achievement feature lockouts: you guys know what this is, get a 25 kill-streak in multiplayer to get a piece of kit, that sort of thing, stuff that forces the player to play in a specific way that not everyone is skilled enough to do. This is is legal in single player games, but putting it in multiplayer (someplace where stuff should unlock by just playing the game) will cause us to steal the most valuable thing you own, and we will only return it if you do something you have no experience doing, like skydiving without the tandem dives for practice.
 

Scarim Coral

Jumped the ship
Legacy
Oct 29, 2010
18,157
2
3
Country
UK
I will NEVER EVER cancel an animated series created by the creator envision!!! I will let it run throught its natural progress and also when the creator wants it to finish!!!

The show should be driven by the creator storytelling/ creatitivity and NOT by profits!

Seriously shows like Thundercat 2011, SymBionic Titan, Young Justice, DC Nation Short should had continue or at least finished their story than for their story forever be stuch in cliff hanger limbo!

Also I will throw away any "comedy" cartoon or rather they will not get the most advertisement/ promo in favour of the action one (F you Teen Titans GO)!
 

Zontar

Mad Max 2019
Feb 18, 2013
4,931
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First rule of order: Stargate and Star Trek's reboots are finished. Any new series and/or movies will be continuations of the only timeline and prime timeline of these respective franchises.

Second order: The Star Wars EU is canon again, and the new movies will be an adaptation of the Thrawn Trilogy. Abrams is to be removed effective immediately from the project, instead replaces with different competent but still up-and-coming directors/writers who are unknowns but have proven themselves.

Third order: The DCCU will be less grimdark, and Gotham, Flash and Arrow will be forced into a single continuity which is part of the DCCU.

Fourth order: Anime is back on television. Toonami will have a for-all-ages program timeslot during prime time, with the current timeslot being used for late night anime only. Other channels will also start to use dubs, and Aniplex is barred from importation due to their unreasonable business practices. Also: ADV is back as a division of Funimation. (this one is actually possible, since both the rise and fall of anime on American television was due to the executive decisions of a whole 10 people)

Fifth order: Family Guy and The Simpsons are cancelled, and no revival or new spin off it so be permitted for a minimum of 5 years.

Sixth order: Horror has a 5 year moratorium, no exceptions. When it returns it must meet a specific quality standard and no f*(king jump scares.

Seventh order: Comic books from DC and Marvel are to stop spouting political messages to be shoved down the reader's throat, and instead concentrate of telling good stories. This will likely involve the purging of 80% or more of both their staff's, as well as a similar number of comic book lines.

Eighth order: The possible Transformers Cinematic Universe will include G.I. Joe and Battleship, and it will have movies that are cheesy and fun like G.I. Joe and Battleship instead of boring and confusing like Transformers. A crossover of the three is in production effective immediately.

Ninth order: Fox is to return all comic book movie rights to Marvel, however with the exception of the Fantastic Four Marvel is not to bring said movie characters into the MCU until the inevitable reboot (it's come too far for that sh*t to work)

Tenth order: no company is permitted to cave in to social media protests against something they've done on the sole grounds of it offending people. If people want it to be taken down, they need a real reason.

Eleventh order: A Certain Magical Index 3 and A Certain Scientific Railgun 3 are to begin immediate production, as is a live action Warner Brother's TV series filmed in Montreal under the title "Academy City" that takes the two series, blends their narratives, and airs them on HBO, Netflix or some other network/streaming service that allows for the 14+ series to actually get made.

Japan order: Anime industry, stop pandering to hardcore Otaku. Doing so would cut your margins, but also increase your consumer base, not to mention increasing the possibility of foreign exportation, and even the mother-load of a live action Hollywood adaptation.
 

Sleepy Sol

New member
Feb 15, 2011
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I'd be too lazy to do anything and would probably just leave everything as is. Except for making FPS shooters include more than 2 or 3 colors in their color palettes. What could go wrong with combining rainbows and M16s.
 

Silentpony_v1legacy

Alleged Feather-Rustler
Jun 5, 2013
6,760
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No re-re-release, remasters, copies, special editions, re-launches, reboots, reanimations, or revelations about any existing IP. Ever. Again.
Everything needs to be new. Old characters are to be shelved and never touched again. Throw the entire Nerd world out of their 50 years old comfort zone.
Time for change.
 

cojo965

New member
Jul 28, 2012
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Solaire of Astora said:
I'd be too lazy to do anything and would probably just leave everything as is. Except for making FPS shooters include more than 2 or 3 colors in their color palettes. What could go wrong with combining rainbows and M16s.
There's a good one, player models will not be unidentifiable from the surrounding scenery.
 

Fox12

AccursedT- see you space cowboy
Jun 6, 2013
4,828
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All country music is banned. Now

*cracks knuckles*

1. For every 3d animated film there must be two 2d animated films.

2. There is to be a limit based upon the amount of CGI used in a film. Anymore then the "small" set amount must be approved by me. CGI should be used to improve a scene, not replace practical affects.

3. No more franchises. There should be a general outline of how many books/films/episodes/ect your story needs. This can be adjusted later, with my approval, as I understand that the creative process changes things.

4. Anyone who desires to make a prequel must seek approval from me. If the prequel is not superior to the original work then that person will be shot.

5. Remakes and re-imaginings must seek my approval. If the remake is not superior to the original in every way then the creator must be shot. This will encourage creators to remake and improve bad stories instead of classics, or else create original work.

6. Hans Zimmer and Michael Bay must be drawn and quartered, and their bodies must be drawn through the streets of Hollywood as an example to film makers everywhere. Peter Jackson will be spared due to his work on the original LotR films, but is hereby banned from film making.

7. No more in game purchases, period.
 

CrazyGirl17

I am a banana!
Sep 11, 2009
5,141
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Hm... this should be fun... (Cracks knuckles)

#1: MTV will start showing music videos again, and most of their non-music programming will be relegated to a third channel. They will also bring back the likes of Jackass, Viva La Bam and Wildboyz (...it's a guilty pleasure, okay?) Anything by Rob Dyrdek can stay too.

#2 The Funimation channel will return, complete with movies on the weekends. And maybe a rotating schedule on weekdays?

#3 The channels for Disney, Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network will drop most of their "Stupid comedy" and "tween pop" shows in favor of good programming, including bringing back shows like Symbionic Titan, Megas XLR, Young Justice, the Thundercats and He-Man reboots, Samurai Jack, Motorcity, Tron Uprising, Spectacular Spiderman, Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes...

#4 And speaking of Cartoon Network, Adult Swim will drop most of it's lowest common denominator-pandering programs in favor of the stuff that doesn't suck. Also, Toonami is back on it's Monday through Saturday line-up.

#5 The "Sy-fy" Channel will change it's name back to "Sci-Fi" and bring back classic shows like Mystery Science Theater 3000 while dropping most of its other non-sci fi programming. Also, more good sci-fi movies.

#6 Also, DC will stop making their stories so dark and depressing and get back to telling good stories. Marvel will also have to write good stories, and no political bullshit.

#7 Finally, the Hub will be brought back in all it's glory, with classic Warner Brothers cartoons alongside shows like My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, The Aquabats Show, and Transformers Prime.

...Okay, yeah, there's a pattern here, but I'm just so sick and tired of all this bullshit...
 

Vault101

I'm in your mind fuzz
Sep 26, 2010
18,863
15
43
FEMENISTS AND WOMEN EVERYHWERE!!

the numbers of white straight guys and women/minorities will be reversed
 

Evil Smurf

Admin of Catoholics Anonymous
Nov 11, 2011
11,597
0
0
1. Outlaw anime, is was a mistake, and is for dumbs.
2. Burn bronies at the stake, using plush ponies as kindling.
3. Replace all doors with automatic ones, so that it upsets MRAs. Who's going to open doors for M'lady now?
4. Punch all fedora owners in the crotch.
5. Enact the final stages of the gay agenda
6. Make Anita Sarkeesian my VP
7. Release a new Jazz Jackrabbit game.
 

MonsterCrit

New member
Feb 17, 2015
594
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President of the Entire entertinment industry...oh where to begin

1. First the 24 hour upskirt/upkilt and downblouse channel.
2. Cancel Game of Thrones
3. Midget boxing League
4. Remove All evangelical programs.
5. Cancel the View
6. Shut down the SyFy Channel
7. Bring Back the ScienceFiction Channel.
8. Ban telivised Oscars,
9. Televised Public FLogging of talk show hosts.
10 The Cheerleader Channel

That'd be a good start.. and yes I know but hey if you're going to get power you might as well get the corruption thing out of your system as quickly as possible.
 

Sampler

He who is not known
May 5, 2008
650
0
0
Bring back Firefly.

It will have its own channel, alternating between the return of all the original cast* to expanded universe

*Including Wash, he's brought back to life ala Coulson..
 

Rebel_Raven

New member
Jul 24, 2011
1,606
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Okay, first and foremost, there will no longer EVER EVER EVER be any allowance for ANYONE to force a game developer to change their vision for the game. This includes squashing the "Straight white guy" check list that people seem oddly attached to.

The squashing of the "straight white guy" checklist will apply to other media.

There'll be a push for diversity on a voluntary basis across all media via funding and getting volunteers. No one'll be forcing anyone to be PC, and on the same note no one will force them to not be PC.

Female action figures will be less short packed.
The Blue and Pink aisles of toy stores will have an overlap. Purple, I guess. While I can't think of much more use than giving girls an outlet for finding female comic figures like Black Widow, Wonder Woman, etc. I'm sure some good of it can come for boys.

Female comic characters will show up in TV and movies more to raise awareness of them, and I'm hoping they won't be relegated to love interests, or jobbing while guys to all the interesting stuff.

Tech, and/or g4 TV will return to cable and at least one will function as a gamer news channel that will give air time to all games being released, even if they are obscure. This will, obviously, be in effort to inform people about games that don't get commercials on TV.

An anime channel will be created. It'll air movies, shows, and not just the most modern stuff.

A refuge channel will be created for shows and cartoons that get canceled because they're too mature or whatever.

That's about all I can think about for now.
 

Ihateregistering1

New member
Mar 30, 2011
2,034
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0
-Cancel the Simpsons. You could have died with dignity years ago, now we must put you out of your misery.

-Not allow there to be an audience at "Real Time with Bill Maher". I'm curious how smug he'll be when he doesn't have an audience of trained circus seals clapping everytime he opens his mouth.

-Bungie is no longer allowed to create new Halo games, they must go back to making Oni and Myth games.

-There WILL be a sequel to Psi-Ops: The Mingate Conspiracy. And while I'm at it an HD reboot of Krush, Kill, and Destroy, and confirmation that someone is working on Darksiders 3.

-All reality shows are cancelled immediately. The regular joe actors and actresses on them will be given a severance package, which we will make by liquidating the Kardashian's assets.

-Cable TV providers will now allow you to buy individual channels, instead of 'packages'.
 

spartenX

New member
Oct 2, 2009
107
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0
#1; Michael Bay is to sacked and flogged, and following that any furture transformers and TMNT films will take place in a separate universe from the ones he created and will focus on the title characters

#2; DC is to reboot its cinematic universe to be less grim dark in the cases of characters who are not traditionally portrayed as grim dark, if marvel can make their movies feel like they fit the individual characters but still belong in the same universe then so can you

#3; Toonami is to have its budget increased, and have a daytime block for anime thats aimed at younger audiences. the current time can then be used for anime directed at older audiences

#4; the following shows will be brought back for new seasons with as many of their original creators, writers, animators, and actors as possible: samurai jack, megasXLR, young justice, and the spectacular spiderman

#5; less moe focused shows in anime. you can still have them, just cut back

#5.1; make a sequel to shin mazinger. seriously, I want to see how great gets handled in that universe

#6; no in game purchases and DLC is only for content created after the game has already been released, none of this disc locked content crap.

#7; focus groups are gone unless the actual creators ask for one

#8; creators may make their protagonists be whoever they want them to be. straight white guy, lesbain black girl, doesn't matter what you want to make them, so long as they are written well.

#9; The next season of both Family Guy and the Simpsons will be the last ones. I'd cancel them sooner but I am merciful enough to let them have time to plan proper finales.
 

Arnoxthe1

Elite Member
Dec 25, 2010
3,391
2
43
1. More original IP's for the next gen consoles and more games with full quad or at least split-screen support. Xbox One now supports LAN play. YOU CAN MAKE IT WORK, MICROSOFT. Allow ad-hoc networks and don't give me any more of your lip! Ahem... Xbox 360 and One now have the functionality of VLC and will now support all media file types. Ninja Gaiden II will be polished up by Itagaki and co. (the REAL Team Ninja) and re-released for the next-gen as NGII Black. Oh, and Valve will now be able to count to three. If only to get everyone to shut the hell up about HL3 not ever being released.

2. All movies will now display piracy/copyright warnings AFTER a movie and its credits. All Blu-Rays/DVD's will no longer have unskippable commercials or overly long movie menu intros. And Hollywood will market good movies CORRECTLY and put the necessary money required for it into them. No more of this release-an-amazing-movie-only-for-it-to-flop-because-nobody-knew-it-existed-or-got-the-wrong-idea-of-what-it's-about-because-of-stupid-marketing BS. There will now be a Steam equivalent service for movies.

3. I don't know what to do about music even though I'm sure there's lots of problems in this area as well so I'll just leave it. For now...
 

KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime

Lolita Style, The Best Style!
Jan 12, 2010
2,151
0
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This is an interesting premise.

1: Creators for all media must be given a fair chance for their movie/show/book/manga/anime/videogame/whatever to succeed, this is a function of the markets.
2: Racist, sexist, and criminal glorification is banned, unless under special circumstances where it has artistic merit. In which case this material is at minimum adult only/18+, No exceptions.
3: Inclusion is a must, no more pandering exclusively to the widest possible target audience. LGBT/Minority/Female empowerment content is encouraged, but not required. With the exception that all media must make at least some attempt to be more inclusive.
4: Sports games may only publish a title once every 5 years. Other wise DLC must be used for new season brackets, rosters, and teams.
5: David Weber's Honor Harrington universe is required reading for all junior high school and above readers. Trust me you'll thank me.
6: The Simpsons must move to a cable network, Family Guy must be cancelled, and Seth McFarlane is banned from the entertainment industry.
7: Remasters, are required to preserve the old version of their content for use, and must pass a quality check. Also old bugs that were intended to be fixed must be fixed before release.
8: Reboots must have a valid reason for rebooting, and if the previous producers ran a title into the ground they may have no part in the new material.
9: Overhyping, and lying in promotional material is banned, and includes a minimum 200 million dollar fine, and 2 year prison sentence.
10: Any company paying for positive reviews and the reviewers who comply with this will receive the same punishment as above.
11: Disney must allow the smaller companies it's absorbed such as Marvel, Pixar, and Lucas Film full creative freedom.
12: Current modern military shooter franchises are allowed only one more release, then must take a hiatus of 2 years. New modern shooter spunk-gargle-weewee must start this hiatus immediately.
13: Horror is no longer allowed to be applied to action titles, or jump-scare titles.
14: Remakes must be at least the same quality, or better than the original, if not they will have to try again.
15: Fallout 4's current status must be announced, as well as Half-Life 3's and any other long awaited sequel that has no announcement. Conceptual stages is an acceptable answer. Just give us a damned idea of where you are in the process.
16: Mass Effect is here by done and no MMO tie-in, or sequel may be produced.
17: Movies must see an on demand release at the same time as the theatrical, no exceptions. The on demand may cost as much as double as an average cinema ticket.
18: If a series is out of print for more than 5 years it is considered open domain, in all media types, no exceptions. If a particular part of a series is out of print it also goes to the open domain after 5 years.
19: Invasive, inconvenient, and always online DRM is officially banned. As is Day one DLC, and intentionally abusive micro transaction content.
20: Game breaking bugs must be fixed before launch, not after.
21: Publishers lose all say in control of a project if a creator objects, and the creator may seek new publishers in this case.
22: Organizations such as the MPAA and RIAA may no longer lobby for legal legislation, because of their crony intentions with publishers.
23: Preorder bonuses must be the same across all retailers, and may not unbalance multi-player content. Also special editions and collector editions are limited to one each, and must justify their cost in all media.
24: Turner Classic Movies is to receive fund to continue it's current practices if they hit financial trouble, and are required to maintain their current practices.
25: Large publishers in all media are to have no direct hand in what their creative studios produce, and must publish fairly, also they may not interfere with independent creators. They must also fire any senior staff who comes from packaged goods industries.
26: Horror and Slasher must be considered as separate genres.
27: All new Zombie Apocolypse IPs must wait minimum 5 years from the date of these regulations being adopted before they can be published. Current ones may continue provided they've had an instalment within the last year.
28: Content creators have the final say in their content if a controversy arises, and whatever their decision, it is to be considered final. As they have the right to freedom of speech as well, and consumers are allowed to vote with their wallet.
29: Outside sponsorship and product placement is allowed, but must not interfer with the experience of any media. Also as freedom of speech is encouraged creative content may voice the opinions against or for products in their material, as it is not actually slander. Unless it is intentionally and especially egregious.
30: The method of combating piracy must be more fair and consumer friendly practices. Making access to titles easier, cheaper, and/or generally more pleasant. Publishers may not attempt to track pirated material and punish users, as innocent individuals could get caught in the crossfire.
31: Pay walls such as they are are hereby banned, especially if they interfere with non-subscription non-MMO multi-player content.
32: There is a moratorium of one year in which publishers may adjust and make workable re-releases of old content, if they fail to meet this deadline the old content is in the open-domain.
33: Direct-X must release a free open-source variant for non-windows users. They may then let it into the hands of community Open source developers to maintain. Also upgrades to open source must be concurrent with the retail version, at least so that community developers can integrate it.
34: Mobile developers and publishers are no longer allowed to use micro-transactions, or excessive wait times in their games, and all games still on the market to this point must comply with this. The only exception is for low priced special units, and only 1 per-version is allowed.
35: Price drops must be as following for any media published at 60 dollars. Each six months the product must drop by 10 dollars for the fist year, then by 10 each three months for the next half a year, then to 10 dollars after 3 years, and to 5 dollars after 5 years on the market. These prices are to be fairly adjusted for every market that does not use the US dollar.
Addendum: These regulations are subject to change, when a change occurs media publishes, creators, and retailers must comply within a year.
 

FPLOON

Your #1 Source for the Dino Porn
Jul 10, 2013
12,531
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Scarim Coral said:
I will NEVER EVER cancel an animated series created by the creator envision!!! I will let it run throught its natural progress and also when the creator wants it to finish!!!

The show should be driven by the creator storytelling/ creatitivity and NOT by profits!

Seriously shows like Thundercat 2011, SymBionic Titan, Young Justice, DC Nation Short should had continue or at least finished their story than for their story forever be stuch in cliff hanger limbo!

Also I will throw away any "comedy" cartoon or rather they will not get the most advertisement/ promo in favour of the action one (F you Teen Titans GO)!
I feel like you would really not like <link=http://teen-titans-go.wikia.com/wiki/Let%27s_Get_Serious>this episode of Teen Titans Go! for some reason... :p

OT: All natural nudity... It doesn't matter who you are or how you look, we're all going to get naked in the First Annual Public Nudity For Desensitization broadcast live all across the world... or, at least, where we could get actual live feeds and shit...

Other than that, stop cancelling non-shit programming... since not every risk-taking show can hit it out of the park from Day 1 the same way the safe-driven shows can by virtue of "playing it safe" in the ratings department...
 

FalloutJack

Bah weep grah nah neep ninny bom
Nov 20, 2008
15,489
0
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Let's see... I think if I just don't act like FOX, CN, EA, Microsoft, or the Sci-Fi Channel, I'm good.