You are now the king/queen of the interenet, what is your first command.

[Magicman10893]

I would first implement a "No Douchebag" rule. Anyone that trolls would be permanently banned from the internet. I would rule with an iron fist!

 

[exessmirror]

all sick shit shall be made illegal and destroyed when found

 

[Scarim Coral]

I would hunt down all of the remaining troll, cyber bullies and hacker out there. I will also upload a law that everyone must be civil wheather it be on youtube comment, online gaming etc or face the elite banhammers enforcers which they will ban you from the internet forever or face internet jail!

 

[AgDr_ODST]

* Publishers/seekers of Child Porn die immediately after prolonged a waterboarding torture session

They die immediately, after a prolonged waterboarding torture session?

So do they resurrect, then get tortured? or what?

OT: Yeah, mainly having everyone use proper grammar and spelling, n0 num83r5, No Capitalising Every Word, nooo eeexcessssivveeee uussseeee offff leetteerrrssss, etc

they get waterboarded till they're begging to be killed then they're shot in the stomach then left to bleed to death in a room with no exit

 

[stangman]

Open up local content to the international market. I'm not the only Canadian who wants to watch Hulu and Adult Swim content without the hassle.

Good sire!
You have my sword!

and my Bow!

 

[Android2137]

no adverts.
no spam.
no virus'.
trolling would be an offence, and a fine must be paid.
hacking would be an offence punishable by death.
all games must be given to me for extensive testing before release.
1Gb per second internet speeds for everyone.
premium accounts on every single site free of charge for me.

Sire, consider me a loyal subject! 'Tis a fine internet you propose! I humbly request to append a few additional rules:
1) Mandatory use of spellchecker and grammar checker if and when available. ...Does your browser not have a spell checker? You spelled "offense" wrong.
2) Mandatory labeling of tone if sarcastic, because people's sarcasm radar is not 100% accurate.
3) No sock puppet accounts.

some fine additions sir*, you shall be my trusted right hand man.
*[sub] especially the part about sock puppet accounts [/sub]
also, I spelled offence the American way because, The Escapist thought the English way to be wrong

...I thought "offense" was the American way. I know the British and Canadians have alternate spellings for certain words like "colours", but is offense really one of them?

 

[AdamRBi]

Step One: Obtain Internet Money and/or collect taxes from advertisers. Small, but with so many ads out there the money should flow in nicely.

Step Two: Use income to hire Internet Moderators. Humans to work along side machines to do nothing but browse the internet all day moderating sites for:

-Torrents of Media no older then 5 years.
-Viruses
-Scams
-Horribly Designed Business Websites (to which the owner will be pointed in the direction of a professional.)

Step 2.5: Hire qualified and professional Trolls to introduce opposing opinions into bias or one sided sites (in a respectable manner) in order to spark debate or stir things up a bit.

Step Three: Keep Net Neutrality and the freedoms to speak your mind and offer content and information unrestricted (excluding content that constitutes as crimes such as viruses and scams) as the internet's #1 priority.

Step Five: Don't be Evil.

 

[tthor]

I shall recruit Anonymous as my army, disable the websites of Scientology and the WBC websites and then I shall find a way to track down Lulzsec. Also I would ban crazy right wingers who want to moniter the internet, I will not allow you to distrupt my absolute pow- I mean the internet's soverignty.

not to be political, but wasn't it the left side that wants to monitor the internet? democrat = want big government, republican = want small government, more regulation = big government

 

[Zaverexus]

No government interference allowed.
No corporate garbage to deal with.
No pop-up ads or in-video commercials. I recognize that money must be made, so banners are fine.
No stupid charges. No charges at all.
Anonymous shall be allowed diplomatic immunity.
All idiots shall be perma-banned. (I will create a physical banhammer for this and hunt people down)

 

[Estocavio]

Use decent Grammar and Punctuation.

Or you will be banned!
There are some exceptions.

Punctuation and grammar aren't proper nouns!

OT: people will understand opinions.

I didnt say flawless.

I mean;

use decen grammar and punctation.
or u will be banned!
there are some exception

And i Capitolised Grammar and Punctuation to Emphasise them, which is allowed in the English Language.

Notice how im not capitolising "i"'s? Because it doesnt need to be flawless

 

[Hosker]

Use decent Grammar and Punctuation.

Or you will be banned!
There are some exceptions.

Punctuation and grammar aren't proper nouns!

OT: people will understand opinions.

I didnt say flawless.

I mean;

use decen grammar and punctation.
or u will be banned!
there are some exception

And i Capitolised Grammar and Punctuation to Emphasise them, which is allowed in the English Language.

Notice how im not capitolising "i"'s? Because it doesnt need to be flawless

I'm sorry to nitpick some more, but you capitalise the whole word for emphasis. But, yes, I agree: decent at a minimum.

 

[Quala]

Hmmm, perhaps an IRL internet city? Where everyone is given identical jumpsuits and masks on the way in, and trolls run rampant through the streets?

Or maybe just install grammar/spell checkers that give you mild electric shock if you continue to ignore them.

 

[Holyeskimo]

Kill. ALL. PONIES.

To have this person trolled into internet doom, and following that you can't censor anything, as in you can access it, but things such nudity or swearing would still be censored, third create new version of censored to mean for nudity or swearing, censared.

 

[Blondi3]

Kill. ALL. PONIES.

To have this person trolled into internet doom

You're so mean! If I was to be trolled into internet doom then wouldn't that doom the internet and diminish your power as monarch to nothing?

 

[Krantos]

"Don't feed the trolls."

Also, "No leetspeak"

 

[blaqknoise]

Don't be a dick.

 

[Holyeskimo]

Kill. ALL. PONIES.

To have this person trolled into internet doom

You're so mean! If I was to be trolled into internet doom then wouldn't that doom the internet and diminish your power as monarch to nothing?

If it saves the ponies then it's worth the risk, however if they are still going to die i will be the first one to pick up a shotgun and get a truck to the glue factory ready.

 

[Jabberwock King]

The banishment of anti-science nimrods (Creationist, Homeopathy advocates, Climate change deniers, Abstinence only education advocates, supply-side economics, Pseudo-science in general, etc.) and overwhelmingly kooky conspiracy cranks.

Once I have accomplished this, I will set out to create the next glorious step in Human advancement. Producing the INTERNET 2600!!! In which reality is optional!

 

[-Samurai-]

I'd destroy the internet forever. The world was generally a much better place before it.

 

[Fidelias]

First decree: Viruses BEGONE!!!

Really, that's all we need.