You are the last human on Earth. What now?
- Thread starter Aerosteam
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No beer and no food make Homer go something something...
Go crazy?
DON'T MIND IF I DO!
ahdksfoljgotljmlkdlor666
Or learn asexual reproduction
Go crazy?
DON'T MIND IF I DO!
ahdksfoljgotljmlkdlor666
Or learn asexual reproduction
I would jump for joy now that there is no one to annoy the piss out of me anymore and do everything I've ever wanted to do that doesn't require other people. After that I would find a way to reanimate the dead so my dream would be complete and I could go on a zombie killing spree across the countryside. About the time I reach my late twenties I would find a way to recreate humans as I see fit from my own DNA and impregnate as many of them as possible. Starting a society with my own customs, laws and social norms. Wow this is sounding awesome, someone get to work on making me the last one standing. Nuclear war maybe? Just be sure to give me the one in a billion gene that makes me impervious to radiation.
Just needed to quote this because I'm still laughing at it! Gonna have to add that to my list.emeraldrafael said:
First off would be finding a new home, or trying to find other humans. Then when I finally figured out I was all by myself self, find a few books. How to run a power plant, use generators, cook this, drive that, break into this, etc, etc.
I'd probably have to save a lot of information on the human race, so backing up most of the information on the internet and collecting history book will probably be a fun experience. also our science and math will be handy. Then I'd have to figure out how to keep wild animals from coming back due the lack of human activity. Either that, or find a place where I'm safe and provides me with more than enough of my needs. Just to dick around for a bit
Then I've got travelling, explore the deserted country, try to see whats salvageable, fuck with a few things, etc, etc. I'll probably give Area 51 a visit. Why not? Probably won't find any aliens, but hell it is military base. Probably has multiple computers, large amounts of rations, more than enough room, operating vehicles, not too many wild animals, etc, etc.
And after all that fun, and probably a failed try at travelling the rest of the world...I only have one hope left.
...what? I'm pretty sure extraterrestrials would notice if the most dominant creatures on this planet were to suddenly disappear...that is, if they are observing us. If that doesn't work, I'll simply put away my towel and and wait till I die.
Thinking about it logically, fill as many cans as i could with clean water to drink, use the tinterweb whilst its still running and literally print all manner of random but useful stuff, starting with advanced first aid, fire fighting, etc etc. Probably hoard and stock pile fuel and food. To hell with having a single house, i'd have an entire street cordoned off 
First I would release all the animals from the pet stores and zoos. Then I would recruit all the monkeys from the zoo to come with me to a well stocked university. I would then try my best to create a new species of spliced monkey men.
I will teach my creations how to live and flourish together as best as I can using my knowledge of philosophy, history,chemistry, biology, basic medicine, horticulture, animal rearing, carpentry, engineering, ceramics, metal working, forestry, hunting, accounting, fishing and building design all of which I have gained over past years. I will then die a respected scribe and elder.
I will teach my creations how to live and flourish together as best as I can using my knowledge of philosophy, history,chemistry, biology, basic medicine, horticulture, animal rearing, carpentry, engineering, ceramics, metal working, forestry, hunting, accounting, fishing and building design all of which I have gained over past years. I will then die a respected scribe and elder.
be generally depressed. i'm hella introverted, but that doesn't mean i want the rest of the human race to be gone forever.
also no more internet. or new games. or delicious fresh food that i don't have to make myself. honestly i'd probably try to survive and do all those things people do when they're the last person alive.
also no more internet. or new games. or delicious fresh food that i don't have to make myself. honestly i'd probably try to survive and do all those things people do when they're the last person alive.
Dunno probably learn to fly live in bill murray's house drive tanks maybe steal a navy aircraft carrier and shell countries for fun there's an endless amount of things i could do with no one to tell me no!
play video games, watch movies, read some books, draw some art.
maybe take up construction and build a bunch of things.
keep my brain occupied so i don't go insane.
maybe take up construction and build a bunch of things.
keep my brain occupied so i don't go insane.
I'm not too sure. At that point, it seems like taking a long walk off a short pier might be better than slowly going mad. But barring suicide, here's probably what I'd do, if I absolutely knew that there was no chance of finding another human on Earth.
I would have to relocate, first of all, because I really shouldn't be next to any nuclear power plants. Without monitoring, it seems that eventually they'll go critical? I'm not sure. Since I don't know, I will go somewhere nice and comfy, somewhere with less humidity and standing water, so there aren't tons of mosquitoes. Somewhere that gets cold in the winter, so fewer bugs.
First, find some food, and also some seeds to plant. Growing plants is therapeutic, because I like taking care of plants and animals, and it provides a sense of achievement when my plants produce edibles or flowers.
Find some animals, then. If all of humanity just vanished -- no big all-destroying war -- then their pets are still out there. They'll need taking care of, so at least I should adopt a few. If I set up shop in the country, I can adopt some cats and dogs and even probably a couple horses. I will find the smallest, most efficient car I can get, and a work truck for important large tasks, and I'll raid houses for as much money as I can find (to buy gas at the automated pumps, pretty much). With that, I'll swipe whatever supplies I need and basically set up a country farm.
While the electric grid is still up, I'll raid Wikipedia and as much of the Internet as I can, and transfer as much knowledge as possible onto hard drives. I will then collect these and put them in a safe or other locked-up vault and hope that some future race discovers it.
If I'm truly desperate, I could try to recreate some kind of humanoid race by reproducing with the most advanced apes I can find at the zoo. I'm not sure I'd ever stoop to bestiality, but who knows what would happen if I'm desperate and going nuts from lack of human contact. I might also die in childbirth, or have complications, or whatever, so yeah.
Eventually, I'll either start becoming feral and treating the animals as my family and friends and peers, or I'll go quietly insane. Yep.
I would have to relocate, first of all, because I really shouldn't be next to any nuclear power plants. Without monitoring, it seems that eventually they'll go critical? I'm not sure. Since I don't know, I will go somewhere nice and comfy, somewhere with less humidity and standing water, so there aren't tons of mosquitoes. Somewhere that gets cold in the winter, so fewer bugs.
First, find some food, and also some seeds to plant. Growing plants is therapeutic, because I like taking care of plants and animals, and it provides a sense of achievement when my plants produce edibles or flowers.
Find some animals, then. If all of humanity just vanished -- no big all-destroying war -- then their pets are still out there. They'll need taking care of, so at least I should adopt a few. If I set up shop in the country, I can adopt some cats and dogs and even probably a couple horses. I will find the smallest, most efficient car I can get, and a work truck for important large tasks, and I'll raid houses for as much money as I can find (to buy gas at the automated pumps, pretty much). With that, I'll swipe whatever supplies I need and basically set up a country farm.
While the electric grid is still up, I'll raid Wikipedia and as much of the Internet as I can, and transfer as much knowledge as possible onto hard drives. I will then collect these and put them in a safe or other locked-up vault and hope that some future race discovers it.
If I'm truly desperate, I could try to recreate some kind of humanoid race by reproducing with the most advanced apes I can find at the zoo. I'm not sure I'd ever stoop to bestiality, but who knows what would happen if I'm desperate and going nuts from lack of human contact. I might also die in childbirth, or have complications, or whatever, so yeah.
Eventually, I'll either start becoming feral and treating the animals as my family and friends and peers, or I'll go quietly insane. Yep.
I'd probably go batty and convince myself I was a truck driver. I'd pick up random trailers in Massachusetts, drop them off in Los Angeles, and then take off for some other town. I'd try to track down rare movies and CDs. There'd also probably be a lot of waltzing around naked. Eventually it would get to the point where I'd be trying to manufacture artificial people I could have sex with. I'd try to track down that Real Dolls company location or maybe try to collect every fleshlight (male sex toy). Drugs would be inevitable and then probably a somewhat intentional drug induced suicide.
Well first I would need to find an animal companion as I am monophobic (fear of solitude. Then probably get all the things I ever wanted but could never buy. I would probably try moving down south where it is warmer year round most likely Florida. Than just rest and relax.
Find the nicest car I could and drive to the nearest huge city. I'd probably blow the car up, then grab as many amps and guitars as I could and play the on the roof of a large skyscraper as loud as I wanted.
I'd probably load up with guns and shoot stuff for awhile, and cause as much mayhem as possible. I'd build a sweet fortress incase something tries to attack me, then probably live out my days as a crazy old man. As much as I'd hate being alone, I don't think I could kill myself. There's just too much awesome stuff to do that you'd never get to do in any other situation.
I'd probably load up with guns and shoot stuff for awhile, and cause as much mayhem as possible. I'd build a sweet fortress incase something tries to attack me, then probably live out my days as a crazy old man. As much as I'd hate being alone, I don't think I could kill myself. There's just too much awesome stuff to do that you'd never get to do in any other situation.
Steal everything,use it,put gun to head,pull the trigger.
I mean after all's said and done,there's not much you can do
Thanks for the great idea.
I mean after all's said and done,there's not much you can do
Yeah I guess I'll do that before blowing my brains out.Infernai said:
Thanks for the great idea.
Fap and cry the first day.
Find a big rig capable of carrying cars and find all the supercars I can and take them to my new home, the governors mansion(i'm in Puerto Rico, no president).
Learn to fly a plane.
Find out how long it takes to fall back down to earth from a certain altitude.
Learn to orgasm so that it takes exactly that amount of time.
Fapicide.
Find a big rig capable of carrying cars and find all the supercars I can and take them to my new home, the governors mansion(i'm in Puerto Rico, no president).
Learn to fly a plane.
Find out how long it takes to fall back down to earth from a certain altitude.
Learn to orgasm so that it takes exactly that amount of time.
Fapicide.
The real question is there any point to continue?
But, ye I would probably try to stay alive. Start a garden, get some animals for food etc. Stock pile just in case I am not the only one. Possably arm myself again just incase.
Maybe aquire a generator cause I am sure power will not Stay on much longer, along with water gas and all that. So will have to find at least water and fuel.
With no one to help l would have to lookup how to do things. And with no power aud hence no survey, hence no internet, going to have to get searching in the liberies. Then put it all into practice.
Then and only then after food and fuel is assured for tomorrow, cause looted food will only last so long...depending on where you are of cause. only then will go nuts with at is available be option.... maybe a little to start with but after that, supplies to survive, and a plan for every eventuality...
But, ye I would probably try to stay alive. Start a garden, get some animals for food etc. Stock pile just in case I am not the only one. Possably arm myself again just incase.
Maybe aquire a generator cause I am sure power will not Stay on much longer, along with water gas and all that. So will have to find at least water and fuel.
With no one to help l would have to lookup how to do things. And with no power aud hence no survey, hence no internet, going to have to get searching in the liberies. Then put it all into practice.
Then and only then after food and fuel is assured for tomorrow, cause looted food will only last so long...depending on where you are of cause. only then will go nuts with at is available be option.... maybe a little to start with but after that, supplies to survive, and a plan for every eventuality...