You can have any superpower, but with one catch...

[Battleaxx90]

So yeah, pretty dang straightforward premise; for whatever contrived reason that I'll leave you to come up with, you now possess any superpower(s) you wish, but with one catch: You can only use them to annoy your fellow man. If you even attempt to use your powers for anything other than annoyance, away they go.

You may now describe your powers, and how you'll go about trollin' with them. I'd do so myself, but I'm too dang hungry and tired and hungry. Maybe later.

 

[Eddie the head]

I wouldn't use them? Can I answer that way? I'm not a dick I wouldn't do that.

 

[repeating integers]

OK, the obvious answer is time manipulation. The amount of trolling one could do with those powers...

 

[ICantBelieveItGoesBoom]

Ability to Stop and Start time, the possibilities are endless! Pull a guys pants down in the middle of the street, put weird shit into someone's burger just before they bite into it, smakc someone in the face etc etc etc...

 

[Scarim Coral]

With that catch in mind, the only suitable power is inflicting curse/ bad outcome to a possibility to others. Granted I will only use this when I feel like it (mainly toward jerks) so that I won't feel guilty toward normal people who just happen get caught in my power.

 

[uhddh]

The ability to cause things to blow up at will. Killing someone would annoy the living hell out of them. And lead to funny situations

 

[Corax_1990]

The ability to permanently prevent people from posting online. Guess who my first victim is?

 

[Flamezdudes]

I have the power to cause severe, constant itching. Yes, you shall be annoyed by my itching powers!

 

[Aris Khandr]

Flight. Just attach one of those plane banners that reads "Ha ha! Suckers!" and fly over rush hour traffic.

Alternately, the ability to be first in line whenever I like. Annoying to everyone else, but my superpower would make them accept it.

 

[SckizoBoy]

OK, the obvious answer is time manipulation. The amount of trolling one could do with those powers...

Pretty much the only answer with that proviso. There is no amount of trolling that cannot be done with it, regardless of what 'method of trolling' one prefers...

 

[Catfood220]

I would have control over the air and use it to control the wind so I could ruin people with stupid hair styles days. Also, I would use it to blow the hats off of the heads of people who wear hats wrong.

 

[Vivi22]

I'll go with probability manipulation, and I absolutely would use it since there are plenty of people out there who deserve to be annoyed.

Excuse me while I increase the chances that that old water pipe in your wall is going to burst and flood your basement filled with every issue of that comic you love in not so water proof plastic bags.

 

[Froggy Slayer]

The power to control people through song.

Why, you ask?

 

[CrazyGirl17]

The ability to transform others in any way I see fit. That should be fun...

 

[N_of_the_dead]

Hmm does trolling casino's count as my fellow man? If so probability manipulation or reality manipulation. I shall get all the money then travel the world making everyone who dare crosses my path suffer for my amusement.

 

[Relish in Chaos]

I?d choose the power to control the space-time continuum, like Hiro in Heroes. An ability like that would be pretty easy to abuse to my own end.

 

[Irradiated Tiger]

I would want the ability to control people's bowel movements. The possibilities are endless, and all smelly.

 

[DugMachine]

Invisibility cause I want to see naked ladies. And sneak into top secret government areas. And naked ladies.

 

[Blunderboy]

The power to grow facial hair at will.
It would make a faint "Plumph" sound too.