I'd bring back Osama Bin Laden in chains, then proceed to kill the ******* in the brutal and humiliating way he deserves, videotaping the whole thing and posting it on the internet labeled "Whose Your Heroic Martyr NOW, Taliban Scum!?" and make sure it goes viral before anyone can take it down. Some would call me a madman, others a hero, still others a loon. But all I am is a man who loves his country, hates pricks who think that people must either be like them or die, and who occasionally needs therapy.
Enough of this, I need to achieve this goal through negotiations with the lord of the dead, Mr. Potato Head.