You Find a Nuke in your Backyard.. What do You do with it?

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jpoon

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Mar 26, 2009
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I'd say "drop it off" on the main FBI or CIA building of choice. 1 Big problem solved...
 

trebach

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Apr 27, 2009
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I would give the nuclear material to Jefferson Lab and keep the shell in my yard.
 

Eclectic Dreck

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Sep 3, 2008
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There is absolutely nothing good I could do with such power. I could annihilate my friends, my enemies, or even the world at large. I could try to sell it and risk incaraceration (plus, depending on the buyer, a non zero chance of spurring forth an apolocaplytic war). I could use it to extort but this would likely end in my tragic demise.

Clearly I have no use for a weapon of such vast power that it is almost incomprehensible.

My only solution is to give it up to the government. They may have no better track record of containing such power thanI would likely have, but at least I don't have to sweat over having personally annihiliated the species.
 

dalek sec

Leader of the Cult of Skaro
Jul 20, 2008
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Either start a new city around it or just nuke a place I don't like.
 

jboking

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Oct 10, 2008
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Call Taiwan. Tell them I have something they might be interested in. Then hand it over, for the right price of course.
dalek sec said:
...start a new city around it...
Sven und EIN HUND said:
I would disarm it, earning the gratitude of a small post-apocalyptic settlement.


... what?
One right after the other, that's just fantastic.
 

Deleric

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Dec 29, 2008
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Wonder when the hell did I get a backyard..

And dear god, I hope Neonbob finds this thread.
 

Guitarmasterx7

Day Pig
Mar 16, 2009
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gah that pooping nukes reference is killing me, because I know I've heard it somewhere. I want to say collegehumor? that's probably not right, but whatever.
OT:
I would first make it public knowledge that i had a nuke, how I acquired it, and that I didn't plan to use it. Then I would offer it to the government for 3 million dollars. That way if they just take it from me, it becomes a scandal, and the public would be like "the government r doushiz! Thae took that gaiz nook awae even thoe hee was peesful and offerd to sell it to them."
 

Flos

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Aug 2, 2008
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Find out who dropped it and sue them for everything they're worth.

I will have your fortress of solitude, Superman.
 

Inverse Skies

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Feb 3, 2009
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I'd call someone in very, very quickly to get rid of it. I really don't like the idea of being slowly poisoned by gamma irradiation from a nuclear warhead. Let someone else deal with it.
 

sms_117b

Keeper of Brannigan's Law
Oct 4, 2007
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Not touch it and call the government quicker than a hiccup. I so don't want that in my backyard.
 

LeonLethality

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Mar 10, 2009
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pimppeter2 said:
Give it to Godzilla.

(Its all part of my world domination plan)
he could never beat my laser eyes pirate (sorry the laser eye pirates thing I started in #escapist seems like I just brang it here >.>)

but the obvious answer is chuck rocks at it... duh
 

Khaos Theory

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Aug 14, 2009
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I would probably take a photo of me riding on it waving a cowboy hat. (Whoo for movie references!)

But once i get bored, i'll stir up a bidding war between competing terrorist cells vying for the chance to give the free world a glowing suppository. Upon having lured them to the middle of the Mojave desert on the pretext of holding the auction, I will then detonate the nuke and ride off happily into the sunset with my sweet hat... Once the funds have all been wired to me of course...
 

Timotei

The Return of T-Bomb
Apr 21, 2009
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MaxTheReaper said:
Contact the FBI and tell them I know the location of an extremely dangerous weapon and, for a small fee, I would be willing to tell them just where it is.

I would, of course, tell them I did not find the detonator.
That would be my insurance against any trickery.

The government, you see, likes to fuck folk over.
I was thinking those same exact thoughts.

Then again you would have to keep the detonator on you at all times to insure they don't search your house for it and come across it. That or hide it in a spot that nobody would bother looking at just in case they happen to bring you in and Dick Cheney is your torturer.