You have been sentenced to die... No really..

[vivster]

yep death by snusnu... not the crushing kind though
i'd rather have my penis just fall off than to be crushed

I will go to hell first before I let them separate me from my manhood!

and it probably will be
because then in hell the ironic punishment will be snusnu for all eternity
and when it falls off it will be reattached for more torturing snusnu

 

[loc978]

Trial by combat, unarmed, against a series of opponents chosen by me. I want to kill the heads of multinational corporations with my bare hands until I'm so exhausted that one of them has to return the favor... and I want my last words to be "Do it, pussy. DO IT!"

 

[mrblakemiller]

1984 special: One day, some kind gentlemen invite me to go into a room at the end of a corridor. As I walk down the hallway, somebody shoots me in the back of the head, right in the medulla.

Actually, how about someone snipe me right between the eyes? I hear that's where you waqnt to shoot if a guy has a hostage because he dies so instantly (I know that makes no sense) that he doesn't have time to pull his own trigger and off his meat shield.

And here are some from George Carlin's famous capital punishment bit:

Crucifixion
Beheading with an olive fork (and the head and roll down a little hill into one of five numbered holes so people can bet on it)
Boiled in oil (sponsor: Crisco)
Shot out of a cannon into a wall
A bomb in a guy's butt (Preparation H-bomb!)
A small bomb pushed up a guy's urethra (When it explodes, he won';t know if he's coming or going! ZING!)

 

[SD-Fiend]

death by literal bearhug either that or death by clogged arteies after eating at the heart attack grill or whatever the name is

 

[moonlantern]

Lethal Injection FTW.

 

[Jegsimmons]

i get to choose huh?

OK, death by exhaustion from sex with the judge's and jurors' wives (unless they are already female, in which case....them)
that way i get the last laugh!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!!!


i mean how big of a fuck you can you get?

Could get bigger if you got them pregnant and you convinced them to keep the child.

i like the way you think.

 

[Adam Jensen_v1legacy]

I'm like to make love to Scarlett Johansson until I drop dead. I'd take that as a suicide option right now actually.

 

[RJ Dalton]

I choose to die of old age. Barring that, I demand they let me find out how many rides on Space Mountain it takes to kill someone.

Which would be an excellent trick, because Space Mountain doesn't cause enough g-force to do any real damage.

 

[rayen020]

serious; guillotine

funny;

death by snu-snu?

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Death by spoon.

That will take awhile

 

[Vlywncint]

To be sped up in time so that I live out my normal life at an accelerated pace in a seemingly stopped world. The observers would see me vanish out of existance almost immediately. If you find a better way, I'm all ears.

 

[The Hero Killer]

Inhaling too much carbon monoxide while I'm sleeping.

 

[crusador90]

I'd love to be exposed to a lethal dose of gamma radiation!

Why? there's a small chance that I'll emerge from that with SUPERPOWERS!


There's a larger chance that I'll just plain die, but it'll be fun at least! Right?

 

[Comando96]

Guillotine . Quick and painless ( i think ). The thought of being shot terrifies me . Although , with a firing squad , theres guys with blanks so for the rest of their days they will be wondering who killed me . But i'll stick with guillotine.

The head stays conscious for a maximum of 30 seconds after death.

During the French Reign of Terror there are lots of accounts of guillotining.

By far the most interesting is where 2 men where executed one having dragged the other into execution too. First man was executed and then the second man who was the disgruntled man who'd been dragged in by the former executed and it was noted that when his head fell into the basket he was rapidly biting and managed to tear out some of the other mans cheek before he stopped moving.
(Source: QI)

I advise you reconsider.

------------------------

OT:

Firing Quad, and hope they hit my heart so I die instantly.

If hit in my gut then oh well only 2 mins before death and 5 seconds or so before the pain becomes numbing.

 

[White_Lama]

I choose death by cheeseslicing.

A memorable death for a not so memorable person.

 

[Geo Da Sponge]

And to all of those saying "Death by snu-snu", if your last words aren't "Doesn't matter, had sex" I'll be very disappointed.

OT: Okay, I want to be decapitated. But not just lame executioner axe or guillotine decapitated. I want to have my head sliced off in that special movie/video-game style where it doesn't actually fall off right away, simply rocking on my shoulders. Then I want Jack Black (and yes, it has to be Jack Black) to stamp on the ground making my head topple while he screams "DECAPITATIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNN!"


Alternatively this, but taking it to the logical conclusion of Bruce Willis busting in and killing all of us.


Orrrr, I want to jump off a very tall building with a cheese wire noose around my neck. But I have my hand glued to the top of my head with a basket-ball hoop at the bottom, so that I can slam-dunk my own head.

 

[Sehnsucht Engel]

I want to write a list of some people I've met, then I want them to line us up and shoot all of them first.

 

[Mrmac23]

In my own bed, with a glass of wine in my hand and a maiden's mouth around my cock at the age of eighty.

Bonus points for knowing the quote.