Ok, I see some good ones here, but I'm gonna have to take one from the OP and twist that.
nuba km said:
4.only English people turn into zombies
All the zombies are English. And I mean high-class English. As in men sprout a monocle shortly after they are first bitten.
"I say, Chapman, are you shambling with your left foot forward? I believe we agreed on the right foot."
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry William, its just that last attack from the humans took my right foot sort of, well, off."
"Really? How did it happen?"
"You remember that one with the shotgun?"
"Oh, yes, quite. His brains were like a good Stilton they were."
"Well, when you started eating his brains, he wasn't quite dead you see..."
"Oh dear."
"And he was still holding the shotgun at the time, and see, I was trying to get at his sweetmeats so..."
"I see. Well, in that case, EVERYBODY SHAMBLE LEFT!"
BONG BONG BONG
"RIGHT, we will continue shambling later! I have the tea, now, which one of you lads brought the crumpets, Cheshire, and brains?"
"I have them right here love."
"Oh, thank you Mumsy, you always make the best brains."