You like getting abducted don't you? You nasty little human

[E-mantheseeker]

A simple thread. You're walking along somewhere and a bright light shines upon you. You float up into a strange vessel and you see aliens staring at you...

What would be the worst thing to hear from the aliens?
What would be the best thing to hear from the aliens?

 

[Nmil-ek]

Worst: Fire up the ass master!

Best: Welcome to Whisky land!

 

[Insomniactk]

Worst thing: Welcome, test subject. We will test different methods of torture on you.
Best thing: Welcome, test subject. We will test your propagation ability.

 

[j0z]

Worst: Prepare the VLAP (very large anal probe)
Best: I hope he likes traveling through space to exotic planets.

 

[quiet_samurai]

Worst: We're out of probe lube.

Best: What is they bidding my master?

 

[Dusty Donuts]

Worst?
And then you peel that part back and reach straight into the rectum
Best?
You are here to test our new candy gun!

 

[Hurr Durr Derp]

What would be the worst thing to hear from the aliens?

"Bend over. We've got a probing quota to make and we're all out of batteries. We're gonna do this the old-fashioned way"

What would be the best thing to hear from the aliens?

"Prophesy has foretold that you are the reincarnation of our alien god. Our lives are yours to do with as you please and our technology is at your disposal."

 

[Eliam_Dar]

Worst, anal probe...with spikes
Best: "You are our master and we are ready to conquest the world"

 

[open trap]

Worst: Cut his reproductive organs off for samples.
Best: Get the super hot alien chicks for interspecies mating

 

[Capachinola]

Worst thing: "And here we go."
Best thing: "Oh. Wrong human."

 

[Doctor What]

Worst?
"Naw, not anal probes, belly button probes."

Best?
"Want a Jelly Baby?"

 

[zohmbee]

Worst: Excellent, a live test subject. Alright, get the proton blade, let's cut her open.

Best: Welcome back, lieutenant. Your reports on the human species have been most helpful. We shall prepare the armada and attack on your command. Look, a human! Alien cuddles~!

...yyyyeah. That's right. You heard nothing about the armada...

 

[seious]

Worst: Hi there mr.human now this is the first time of tried this whole probe thing so where do i shove it maybe in this tube thing at the front this will be a tight squezze
Best: I sure hope he wants immortalty, riches and beutiful alein woman

 

[Julianking93]

Worst: You will now be probed in your urethra for the next 8 hours.

Best: We want you to mate with our women (as long as they're sexy)

 

[ThrobbingEgo]

Worst scenario, poison headcrab zombies. Yeah, I wouldn't want to get anal probed, but I think dying painfully with corrosive parasites burrowing into my skull.. that beats the probes.

Best case scenario, I get immortality or some kind of super power.

 

[martin's a madman]

Best thing: You've proven yourself as an exemplar of your species. Our hope was dying until we observed your exploits and now wish to spread your influence not only on your own species, but to hold you as an example for ours as well. Thank-you.

Worst: Eh, this one's okay.

 

[Neosage]

Best: Enjoy some hot alien sex whilst we study the effect of drinking lots of beer and eating red meat on you.

Worst: They paralyse me for life and make me deaf and blind.

 

[Deleted]

Worst: Get the Anal Probe ready

Best: Send the experiment back to earth with super strength and super intelligence, record the results.