You must change a paradise into a hell, by changing one thing...

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NoeL

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May 14, 2011
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I'd turn all the Coke into Pepsi.

I wouldn't want to live in that world...
 

Denamic

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Aug 19, 2009
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There is a constant noise that you cannot identify, and you can never find the source of.
 

The Funslinger

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Sep 12, 2010
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Strazdas said:
I would make it so everyone would be hearing Just-in Beaver forever as background music.

Alternative: i would make people selfish which means they want to be better than the rest creating constant paranoya and competition. Oh, wait, thats not hell thats just life.

Alternative: Make them think its hell. That will bring insanity fast enough.

Alternative: Everyne sees another person exactly like how they themelves look. There is a mental disorder like that and trust me its not nice.

Binnsyboy said:
Everyone has a permanent runny nose. Try to enjoy a Paradise's lack of inhibition with that going on.

Alternate, but related: Everyone wakes up with a coating of phlegm in their mouth and throat.
I have a permanent runny nose. Am i in hell?
Speaking as someone who had nasal polyps for a year, yes. Yes you are. You poor bastard.
 

Squilookle

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Nov 6, 2008
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Easy- no matter where you go, you can hear THIS playing:


Even if really faintly. Just enough to stop you from sleeping.
 

waj9876

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Jan 14, 2012
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Instead of endless honey/booze/sweet-life-nectar they only serve crystal pepsi.

Alternatively, everyone has to introduce announce to everyone they've ever known a list of every sin they committed in life. They have to mention the sexual ones in a deep, deep voice.
 

Neonit

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Dec 24, 2008
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everybody has a theme music. At the same time.

Imagine an entire city of pedestrians, each walking their own way, with their own theme music.

Extra points if you are fat, or if you think you are fat - then you get the tuba.
 

Isalan

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Jun 9, 2008
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So its Paradise huh? Well, now its still Paradise but every single person except you is deeply mired in the most bitter, profane, despicable Console War in the history of Mankind. No physical violence but endless snarky, bitter, remorseless, snidey bickering.

Your welcome.
 

Barbas

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Oct 28, 2013
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Every time you try to pick something up, it is slapped out of your hand by a passer-by.
 

cojo965

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Jul 28, 2012
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Alssadar said:
icemasteryeti said:
It depends on how much you enjoy having sex with butter.
SQUAD BROKEN

OT: Change one thing?
Either everyone has to dress like a clown, or the soundtrack in every game/movie/theater/advertisement/shopping center is replaced with the alphabet song. Alarm clock: ABC's. Driving to work? ABC's. Massive explosion? ABC's. Sex scene? ABC's. Climatic battle? ABC's.
It'd get so annoying, so fast, as you'd hear it everywhere.
That was so sickeningly funny.

OT: Just add Godzilla, that is literally all you need to do. Yes, I am talking about an actual Godzilla.
 

Akytalusia

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Nov 11, 2010
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i wouldn't do anything. why would i? this mad god hasn't provided any incentive or motivation. it's just a challenge, asking me to do something i'd rather not. is it supposed to attack my pride or something to refuse? cause i'm not feelin' it. or maybe i'm supposed to have this inherent desire to cause grievance unto others? cause i don't feel that either. really not sure what angle this is supposed to be approaching me from.

challenge refused.
 

Storm Dragon

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Nov 29, 2011
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You wish to peer into the twisted depths of my imagination? Very well, then.

*cracks knuckles*

I know you said we were limited to one change, but I couldn't help but think of a few possibilities. Just consider them to be a set of mutually exclusive options.

-Whenever someone is alone, there is a random chance that a clown in tattered clothes, faded makeup, and yellowed teeth will appear behind him/her. The clown will then follow the person, its breathing gradually growing louder, until the person turns around and sees it. Then the clown utters something with a raspy voice in a language that the person doesn't understand before transforming into a swarm of large moths that scatter in all directions. Afterwards, the person finds themselves physically unable to communicate the experience to anyone else.

-Shortly after a person falls asleep, a group of tentacles grow out of the ground and gently wrap around his/her body. It doesn't matter where or on what surface he/she sleeps, the tentacles will appear. They do not harm the person in any way; they don't strangle people, they don't block breathing, and their grasp isn't strong enough to restrict even a baby's movements. They simply writhe across a person's body until he/she wakes up and breaks away from their embrace, at which point they emit an unearthly shriek and wither into dust.

-Nobody is able to detect anyone else's presence except for that "feeling of being watched". It's not that they're invisible or anything, but nearly all sensory information regarding other human beings simply doesn't register to anyone. Each and every person thinks that they're completely alone, but can't help but feel watched.

-The British are the chefs, the Swiss are the lovers, the French are the mechanics, the Italians make everything run on time, and the Germans are the police.

-At random intervals, but never less than one or more than six hours apart, people hear a voice whisper something in their ear. The messages are always short, cryptic phrases like "We are always watching", "You cannot escape us", or "Soon, very soon", and sometimes it's just unintelligible gibberish. When the voice is heard is unique to each person, i.e. not everybody is hearing the voice at the same time.

-Everyone is, at all times, acutely aware of every single microorganism living on their skin.

-There are numerous statues everywhere, there is no place anyone can go where there isn't at least one statue within visual range. Whenever someone looks away from a statue, it is in a different pose when they look back, a la the Weeping Angels from Doctor Who, except they don't attack anyone. The more times a person looks at a particular statue, the more disturbing its poses become; such as inflicting bodily harm upon itself, or gnawing the flesh off of a human arm. Eventually the statue will reach the point where, when the person looks back at it, it's gone. When they turn around, they find the statue there, staring at them. The statue resets the cycle at this point.

I may add more later if I come up with any other ideas.
 

J Tyran

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Dec 15, 2011
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I would introduce a religion that convinces the believers that they have a divine right to occupy the paradise, that makes them want to forcibly convert anyone that doesn't believe and that apostasy is punishable by death.

That should mess things up alright.
 

RJ 17

The Sound of Silence
Nov 27, 2011
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I'd simply implement ObamaCare. Hey-ohhhhhhhh! :p

But seriously, I'd make it so that every sound except for human voices sounds like something rubbing against something that's covered in plasti-wrap.


Footsteps, bird songs, doors closing, hands clapping...EVERYTHING other than spoken words sound like this. >:D
 

AT God

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Dec 24, 2008
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Loop "Tip-Toe through the Tulips" for eternity. I used to love that song because of how stupid it was so I looped it one night and had awful nightmares, everytime I hear it now I feel like Alex from A Clockwork Orange.


Edit: Also, a shit load of bees.
http://youtu.be/PYtXuBN1Hvc
 

Necron_warrior

OPPORTUNISTIC ANARCHIST
Mar 30, 2011
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Pfft easy.

TASTEBUDS IN EVERONE'S ASSHOLES.

For added evilness, you taste through someone else's tastebuds too.

Bwahahahahahah.