YOU NEED TO GROW UP!

[Rellik San]

I HATE THIS STATEMENT!

With a burning passion, growing up? What does that even mean? The people who tell me to do this, are the kind of people who take a bunch of millionaires playing children's ball games so seriously they punch each other over simply the colour of their shirts.

Let me back track a little, I work in a pub, a sports pub to be exact, now I'm not a great lover of sports, I like watching a handful of them (Ice Hockey, Moto GP, Tennis) and I like playing them in general even if I suck at them. But I make no secret of my love for all things, well, escapist and fantastical, often during quiet periods, if I have no bar cleaning or stocking up to do, I'll whip out a pad or a book and draw/read something, which as anyone who's ever done either activity in public knows; draws a crowd.

But it does seem to me that many people take offence to this, with comments regularly coming in the form of; "What are you reading that for?", "Aren't you a bit old to be drawing Pokémon?" and "Don't you think it's time you grew out of that crap?" apparently being in your mid 20's and having an imagination is some kind of affront to these people. But typically, despite the burning rage it fills me with, the assertion, that somehow I'm childish for reading a book, but they aren't for jumping up and down when their favourite team scores is ridiculous to me. I however just brush it off with this simple comment; "What's the point of being an adult, with disposable income, if I'm not going to do all the childish things I ever wanted to do? So long as my bills are paid and food's in the fridge, why do you care?" Which usually shuts them up.

Then there was the time I wore my MLP;FiM shirt to work... but lets not get into that.

So my question to you guys is; How do you handle being called childish for enjoying things in realms many older people still see as the exclusive realm of children?

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

"Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development.

When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."


-C.S. Lewis

I can't explain things as well as C.S. Lewis, but I love that quote.

I usually say "Just because I'm an adult doesn't mean I can't be a child at heart, it leads to a healthier, less stressful life." and that's usually enough to satisfy them. My family has facepalmed on more than one occasion when I purchase MLP merchandise, then turn around and also buy a Tranformer just because it looks like a robot dragon. They've gotten to the point where they just figure it's me being me and don't question it. Besides, my nieces and nephew love me.

 

[Strazdas]

YOu need to grow up and stop posting nonesense.
ok, joking.

yeah, i do hate this phrase too and this has actually lead to me hiding my personality from some people. in the past anyway.
i dont hear that as much anymore as i am studying masters degree, work, live on my own and whenever somoen woudl go on "of youp lay games, grow up" i would go well i am better educated than you, have a better job and can actually pay my bills, so who is the one that needs to grow up?" and they would usually shush....

 

[Queen Michael]

My answer is always this: "I read The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo a while ago. There's this part where

Spoiler

Lisbeth Salander anally rapes a lawyer with a dildo.

If that's the kind of thing mature adults read nowadays, then I'll keep on reading my comic books, thank you very much."

 

[lunavixen]

One of my favourite quotes is "Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional" I try and hold true to it, there are things i still do now that i loved doing as a kid and i'm not likely to give them up any time soon because they make me happy. I don't see why it's anyone elses business what others like as long as it's not interfering said other peoples lives.

Captcha - never quit

That's the spirit!

 

[Bertylicious]

If you got to 35 years of age and you were single, still living in rented accomodation and spent your weekends drawing pictures of MLP and Pokémon in your underpants would you say that your life is a success?

That's a rhetorical question, otherwise the correct answer is "no".

Now if you got to 35 years old and were married with a kid on the way, living in a small house with a huge mortage and spent all of your weekends doing DIY and ironing whilst being all dead inside* then you'd be doing pretty darn well.

Spoiler

*- I'm cheating a bit here because you pretty much go dead inside at age 35 no matter what you do. I think it is something to do with glands.

 

[Smeatza]

If you got to 35 years of age and you were single, still living in rented accomodation and spent your weekends drawing pictures of MLP and Pokémon in your underpants would you say that your life is a success?

That's a rhetorical question, otherwise the correct answer is "no".

Now if you got to 35 years old and were married with a kid on the way, living in a small house with a huge mortage and spent all of your weekends doing DIY and ironing whilst being all dead inside* then you'd be doing pretty darn well.

Spoiler

*- I'm cheating a bit here because you pretty much go dead inside at age 35 no matter what you do. I think it is something to do with glands.

You have a very conservative view of what "success" is.

Would you consider a person who's 35 years of age, single, living in rented accomodation, but has spend the last 20 years of their life creating what they deem to be the perfect piece of art, a failure?

Would you consider someone of the same age who lives out in the wilderness entirely by themselves and has managed to become entirely self sufficient, A failure?

Your version of success, which seems to be accruing material objects, is not the same as everybody else's.

OT: What's deemed mature and what's deemed immature vary from culture to culture. Anybody who tries to tell you that their culture's version of immaturity is correct and you should change your life accordingly is small minded.

 

[Darken12]

Funny, I get told the exact opposite on a daily basis. Apparently I need to start "acting my age" instead of sounding like I'm in my eighties.

Turns out people have very specific expectations of how people should behave at every stage in life, and they get mighty annoyed when someone doesn't conform to those expectations. But of course, that also tends to happen in areas other than age (like gender, class, sexuality, profession and so on).

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

Funny, I get told the exact opposite on a daily basis. Apparently I need to start "acting my age" instead of sounding like I'm in my eighties.

I also get told that I act "mature for my age", but it's usually said as a compliment while others have told me to "lighten up" because I'd rather sit at home and play video games over going to parties.

 

[aba1]

I find myself calling people out on being prejudice all the time. The amount of times I have said "Does it hurt anyone? Does it make them happy?" and if they say no twice then I say then there is no issue.

 

[Trull]

I generally think it means you're not viewing things in the correct perspective. Probably too self absorbed. You think that when you get a haircut, people will care like it's the news.

But that's not a bad thing. Because you will grow up, in time. People who tell you to grow up probably need to grow up as well.

 

[Thaluikhain]

"Grow up" means "Stop liking things I stopped liking when I was a kid".

OTOH, it can mean someone should accept responsibilities and face the world as it is, not as they wish it to be or as something easy to understand. It's generally not meant that way, though.

 

[Eleuthera]

Grow up and take your responsibilities? Yup, we all have to at some point.
Grow up and stop having fun? Hell no! I have a job to make sure I have money to do fun stuff, and I'll spend that money (and what little free time remains) on whatever I like.

 

[Bertylicious]

If you got to 35 years of age and you were single, still living in rented accomodation and spent your weekends drawing pictures of MLP and Pokémon in your underpants would you say that your life is a success?

That's a rhetorical question, otherwise the correct answer is "no".

Now if you got to 35 years old and were married with a kid on the way, living in a small house with a huge mortage and spent all of your weekends doing DIY and ironing whilst being all dead inside* then you'd be doing pretty darn well.

Spoiler

*- I'm cheating a bit here because you pretty much go dead inside at age 35 no matter what you do. I think it is something to do with glands.

You have a very conservative view of what "success" is.

Would you consider a person who's 35 years of age, single, living in rented accomodation, but has spend the last 20 years of their life creating what they deem to be the perfect piece of art, a failure?

Would you consider someone of the same age who lives out in the wilderness entirely by themselves and has managed to become entirely self sufficient, A failure?

Your version of success, which seems to be accruing material objects, is not the same as everybody else's.

OT: What's deemed mature and what's deemed immature vary from culture to culture. Anybody who tries to tell you that their culture's version of immaturity is correct and you should change your life accordingly is small minded.

I'm confused. Are we saying that the whole being alone and indoors AND obsessed with products predominantly marketed to children during your mid-thirties is an enviable state of being?

I'm joking, of course. The above scenario is clearly as ace as a pack of aces that has been smeared in jam and riding a motorcycle. I mean; the tears would come but not often and you wouldn't be living out in the wilderness like a homeless.

 

[R4ptur3]

Meh, you know how a lot of humans are. 'oh your not doing what I am doing and therefore it is wrong.' I tend to ignore those with such a tiny brain that they have to follow a set standard of their way of life, instead of doing what they want to do. We do all have to grow up a bit, it's part of how we progress and learn but we also have to live, and, as usual, we take things too far out of context.

 

[Darken12]

I also get told that I act "mature for my age", but it's usually said as a compliment while others have told me to "lighten up" because I'd rather sit at home and play video games over going to parties.

Where I'm from, maturity is not a virtue (save for a small sector of the elderly population). I have also been told I am not fully human for not finding "fun" what most people find "fun".

I hate being young. I bet the senior citizenry doesn't have to take this shit.

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

I also get told that I act "mature for my age", but it's usually said as a compliment while others have told me to "lighten up" because I'd rather sit at home and play video games over going to parties.

Where I'm from, maturity is not a virtue (save for a small sector of the elderly population). I have also been told I am not fully human for not finding "fun" what most people find "fun".

I hate being young. I bet the senior citizenry doesn't have to take this shit.

Not fully human for not finding enjoyment in the same things "most" people do?
That's pretty extreme, and it's said in a serious manner?

 

[Darken12]

Not fully human for not finding enjoyment in the same things "most" people do?
That's pretty extreme, and it's said in a serious manner?

Yes. I can't remember what I replied, but my thoughts were "That's it. You're on my shit list."

After piecing together their rationale, I deduced that it has its roots on the idea that there's only one correct way of viewing reality. If everyone you know (including yourself) has fun the same way, anyone who doesn't is clearly some form of deficient subhuman.

Conformity is monolithic where I'm from.

 

[Exius Xavarus]

Funny, I get told the exact opposite on a daily basis. Apparently I need to start "acting my age" instead of sounding like I'm in my eighties.

I also get told that I act "mature for my age", but it's usually said as a compliment while others have told me to "lighten up" because I'd rather sit at home and play video games over going to parties.

I often get told I'm obsessed with video games because it's merely my hobby of choice. Sure, I play a lot of them and I'd rather play video games than go to a party where I'd sit around being bored(this is mostly because I am not at all a social person), but I don't particularly think that makes me obsessed.

Growing up is a physical thing. Most everyone's really just one big child, at heart. It's just a matter of whether you're open about it or not. But then I might be forgetting the fact that fun in general is childish and has no place in adult life. But I'm an obsessed video game fanboy, what do I know?

 

[omega 616]

snip

The usual progression of maturing is, as a baby you play with rattles and basic learning things (putting blocks into the right hole etc), then you start watching cartoons and wanting to buy action figures/toys, then you start watching the news, buying newspapers, drinking beer etc.

When you get to the 40 year old virgin level of still collecting action figures and watching MLP do you think you have reached the last level?

I am not saying the order I described is what 100% of people should do, I am saying that is what the majority do, which means that is what is considered normal.

So, I would say they are right ... grow up is a suitable way to say "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me" like it, hate it, agree or disagree that is what society tells us is normal ... nerd society says it's fine to watch animated shows, collect action figures and think cosplay is cool.