You want to painfully murder The Escapist above you...

[Barbas]

I'd bludgeon them to death with my didgeridoo!

 

[Drummodino]

I'd jam my keys into their eyes and then slice their throat with my ripped up coke can!

 

[Barbas]

I'd tip my wardrobe onto them, then jump up and down on it!

 

[Drummodino]

I'd throw my companion cube at them then stab them with my spoon.

 

[Nouw]

Go, Eva Unit 01!!

 

[username sucks]

What? You... you wish to die?

Spoiler: FACE THE WRATH OF WRAPPING PAPER AND CHRISTMAS ORNAMENTS!

Never you mind that damage penalty, it just means I will be able to hit you more before death mercifully takes you.

 

[Drummodino]

I boil my kettle and pour it all over their face!

 

[Dr.Susse]

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!

*Glasses with a beer bottle*

And thus ends most nights going out clubbing in Australia.

 

[kailus13]

I have a glass so I suppose I'd shove it up their rectum before breaking it.

I'm not very good with improvised torture methods.

 

[Drummodino]

I hope you enjoy this TV falling on your face!

 

[EeveeElectro]

I'd bash his face in with my Hello Kitty cup!

 

[Barbas]

How do you feel about axe murder?! Hahahahahahahahahahaaaa!!

[HEADING=2]Choppity-chop![/HEADING]

 

[Padwolf]

Well it looks like it will be a good ol fashioned stabbing. Don't worry, I'll put my pretty bracelets around the handle so the knife at least looks pretty. Or I could throw an xbox 360 at your head. Either way it's pain!

 

[God'sFist]

Bash your head against the wall then after that poke out your eyes with a pencil. Finally after all that I'd kick you in the stomach and stomp your head in. Hope that's ok with you. you are cool by the way and would never do any of these things.

 

[Barbas]

A bowling ball to the groin! F**kin' dipsh*t with a nine-toed woman!

Spoiler

 

[Padwolf]

Well first I will distract you by throwing my slippers at you, then I will charge at you and whack you round the head to death with a gamecube controller.

 

[Drummodino]

Boiling hot coffee poured on your head! Enjoy those second degree burns!

 

[Lil_Rimmy]

Boiling hot coffee poured on your head! Enjoy those second degree burns!

One upping you here:

You die as I tie you down with my amazing number of cables, pull your mouth open and pour boiling how tea down your throat, in your mouth and all over your face. BURNS EVERYWHERE, your throat is on fire and your stomach is revolting. Then, as you burn, I reverse the cup and use the heavy, thick end to beat your mouth in, thereby forcing you to choke on your own teeth and blood. If you are still not dead, heavy cup to the end will end that.

...

Oh god, I'm a terrible person. *sob*

 

[EeveeElectro]

Death by suffocation of too many teddies!!!!!!!

 

[Barbas]

The death that meets all spies: Raccoons, out of a cannon, into the face!