"You were an accident!" .. so what?

[Aprilgold]

Because you werent wanted. And in some cases you might have been the thing that RUINED your parents lives or ambitions.

Yaay, basically, you nailed it. The insult isn't bad, but you blame YOURSELF over it, thus the insult just got more effective.

 

[Irriduccibilli]

My parents arent married and... well, I dont give a fuck. Married or not, we are not religious, and they don't need to be married to know that they want to be with each other, so i'm completely fine with that.But if I found out I was an accident, well, my parents still raised me and cared for me, so I guess I would be fine with that. I don't know if i'm an accident or not, but it wouldn't really matter anyway

 

[RemuValtrez]

Overall this matters very little to me. Was raised well, fed, clothed, given a chance at an education, and I thank them for that. Honestly, I'm almost glad I wasn't planned. That would potentially be awkward if they wanted a girl and got a boy. Might almost make them go back at it to get it right. Now THAT would have made childhood miserable.

Outside of that, this is just mainly used as a joke with my family. Not for me of course. My dad is the mailman!

 

[darkman80723]

I didnt really have a problem with being an "accident" until my drunken mother let slip one night that she couldnt afford the abortion -_-

 

[AnnaIME]

My husband's parents moved in together, had a baby, got married, had another baby and went to college, in that order. They are still happily married.

My parents did everything "right", with education first, then careers, then marriage, then a planned pregnancy. Later on they had a divorce.

My husband lovingly says that he was a bastard for the first three weeks of his life, but that I have been a retroactive bastard since I was seven.

 

[hooksashands]

If I had a nickel for every time someone called me a bastard...

 

[Zeekar]

Spoiler: Snip

I was always wondering about this kind of thing. Whenever I see it in a movie, read it in a book, hear it from friends or see it on the internet in forums like this..
Whenever people hear from their parents that they were an accident, mostly in rage during fights or whatever, people behave like this truth would be the end of the world. Mostly followed by lots of tears and general QQ and open rage toward their parents. Same applies for the matter of "What, my parents were not married when i was made? ZOMFG!!"

.. in both these cases I generally ask myself "So what?".. What is so horrofyingly bad about these things? Why do people even care?
Myself, I was neither planned nor were my parents married by that time. Both my mother and m father told me when asked. back then as of today, I don't really cared much about this simple truth, yet some people seem to think of this of some major deal.
My parents loved me, raised me well, gave me opportunity and access to more then decent edjucation, so why should I think ill about them because they preffered to mate like rabbits instead of waiting?

So.. maybe you guys and girls can explain this to me. Is that some kind of american thing? ( Most people I hear this from are from around these parts, no generalization intendet.) is that just me being generally a bit cold toward such matters?

So, please share your thoughts about this with me.

It could be an American thing, but that would be puzzling because I've never heard [em]anyone[/em] bemoan this fact -- American or otherwise, and I live in America.

I don't know how to answer your questions, because everyone likely has a different reason for their distress in that situation. It probably stems from a broken sense of stability that such news could cause.

The more important thing to note is that currently the trend of unplanned pregnancy doesn't seem to be decreasing; That's disturbing seeing as how in 2002, roughly half of all pregnancies in the United States were unplanned (According to the CDC). It's becoming more and more normal for that to be the case, so in the near future being "accidental" may be an inconsequential aside, if it isn't so already.

TL;DR: I don't know either. It really shouldn't matter to the child how they were born -- It's usually nice to have been born at all.

 

[Delsana]

Since it's pretty hard to accidentally have sex there is no such way to have a baby "accidentally".

 

[smurf_you]

I was definitely an accident, what with my mom being only 18 years older than me and all.... but I was never angry about it, was just a fact of life for me *shrugs*. The only thing that *may* have bothered me was having to learn the definition of bastard in the 5th grade >.> (got called that one a lot before I figured it out lol)

 

[Thundero13]

Actually, that's a good point, my mother doesn't hesitate to tell me I was an accident, as was my brother, doesn't bother me none, why should it?

 

[Twilight_guy]

Yeah and if you tell kids that Santa doesn't exist and that you ran over their puppy and that you hope they die in a fire it doesn't matter because words meaning nothing!

Telling your kid that they exist for no reason and were something you didn't intend (i.e. accident) is very mean spirited. Under most contexts its going just mess with the kid and parents aren't supposed to be mean to their kids for no reason.

 

[Dracowrath]

The only thing on this issue I'd have a problem with is if my parents weren't married, as then that means I'm a bastard (Yes, I know that's not such a big thing these days but that'd be a sore spot for me). I wasn't planned, however. Mom and dad were just having fun, then mom started getting sick. It's interesting to think about, and in a way I forced them to deal with the end result of sex but it's not a bad thing. I won that swimming race after all, and now I'm here.

 

[Kinokohatake]

Hell, I was conceived through two forms of birth control.

I am destined for great things.

[sub]At least that's what I tell myself to help quell the tears.[/sub]

Damn you were the Kool Aid man of sperm

 

[dmase]

I was actually born under the same circumstances. They where young, weren't ready, they got married before I was born, and told me while I might have been an accident that given the opportunity they wouldn't have changed me being born.

My parents joke that they remember how many years they've been married by taking my age and adding 1.

 

[CityofTreez]

I was accident and I have never met my real Father. Hell the last time I saw my Mother I got in a huge fight and haven't spoken to her since. Do I feel upset and angry? Hell no. That's life. Shit happens.

I'm just grateful I have Grandparents who love me enough to put up with my shit. :3

 

[Rolf]

I am not realy supose to live. My parents told me that the doctor told my mom she could never have kids. And then she had me and my sister so i guess we are accidents. And i thought it was cool when they told me that.
i don't get all the drama when someone learns that they are accidents. Nor do i understand why parents are afraid to tell their kids that they are adopted. I got two brothers that's adopted and i don't see why it is a mortal sin.

 

[CityofTreez]

I'm was the fittest of millions of sperm cells. Fuck the haters.

That's a great way of looking at it actually.

 

[Yarkaz]

I never got the point of getting worked up over it either. I was born (born, not conceived) a year before my parents were married and since they're both Christians and whatnot you can bet that I wasn't planned. I don't care much, it doesn't change what I've accomplished in my life nor what they've done for me.

As for me ruining their lives... Yeah, I guess I did. They both had to drop out of college, and My Dad's been stuck working for the same company in roughly the same position for 20 years. But that's not my fault. They shoulda been a bit more careful.

In the meantime, I'll just go to college and make sure I wait a while before having kids.