Evangelion 3.0 ? I was right
Yes, it's time to flog this dead horse again, but this is the last time, I swear. I finished watching Evangelion 3.0 for the second time a few weeks ago. Suffice to say it was a challenging watch to say the least, but I finally made it through. But boy, am I glad to admit that I was 100% right about it all along. It is a terrible film. Not only as a sequel to 2.0, not only as a new story, but also as a remake as well as a film in general.
Honestly, after watching it a second time I have no idea how people can defend this film. It pulls so much stuff out of the deepest reaches of its ass, breaks its own rules and the very basic rules of visual storytelling so hard so many times it has to be a joke: Hideaki Anno farting in the fans' face for 90 minutes and then laughing his ass off as they ask for more and analyze the pitch, tone and odor of this anal discharge.
I mean did the concept of ?show, don't tell? escape the fans' minds? Did you actually watch the film instead of dreaming a better version of it yourself? Did you honestly take it all without question and 100% seriously? I very much doubt all of that.
The scene where Fuyutsuki talks to Shinji about Yui was the last straw. It was nothing but characters talking, focal plot points delivered poorly through exposition out of nowhere without any buildup and didn't make things any clearer, only more confusing. It broke the ?show, don't tell? rule over its knee and then pissed on its corpse.
And worst of all, not a single thing was made any clearer on the second viewing. Not one of my shit ton of questions were answered or clarified. They all still stand, including some new ones:
? So Shinji meets Kaworu, the only person who could give him answers and shows compassion towards him? And what does Shinji do? Starts playing the fucking piano with him without asking any questions!
? In fact, the two never share any meaningful dialogue. They just randomly play the piano and boom! BFFs for life! The great writing of Anno Hideaki would rival Shakespeare himself. But I guess you could chalk it up to Shinji just accepting anyone giving a shit about him, so that's not such an issue.
? Towards the end Shinji says very adamantly that he won't pilot the Eva, but when Kaworu takes the Choker off of him he suddenly wants to? And mere moments later when Kaworu pleads him to stop, he's suddenly so committed to it that he won't? And when things fuck up again he acts all surprised? Our hero, ladies and gentlemen!
? What exactly was that thing where Unit 02 suddenly turned into a... fucking cat, growing a tail, fangs and all? Was it some added feature? If it was, how did they add it AFTER THE FREAKING APOCALYPSE? If it was already there, how come we didn't see it the last time the Beast mode was used?
? About the apocalypse: the final plot point of 2.0, Third Impact getting cancelled by Kaworu, is completely ignored. They actually retconned the mythology between movies. Everything is played like the last scene before the end credits in 2.0 was the very last thing that happened.
? Nope, the Nemesis series are never adequately established to be under NERV's or SEELE's control, they're just some random thing that appears out of nowhere and is never mentioned again.
? How come when Kaworu suddenly blurts out that he is an angel, i.e. An absurdly powerful being (which has no relevance at all in terms of the ?plot?), mere moments later a device designed to kill humans just offs him, like that? He couldn't just, you know, take it off like he did before? Or stop it with his AT field?
? They built up Kaworu for 2 movies as some kind of big player, but in the end his character ended up not mattering at all.
? It's never even implied that WILLE is trying to go after Shinji either. Asuka and Mari just show up out of nowhere to give the audience some flashy action porn at the end.
? The Longinus and Cassius lances are completely unexplained, and neither is why they needed that retarded four-armed Eva to get them. It's just an excuse to get Shinji and Kaworu piloting together, something out of a bad fan fiction.
? Apparently starting up an eva, a process which in the past took hours of preparation and a crew of dozens, can now just as well be done automatically by two people. And post-apocalypse. Oh well.
? That mountain of skulls on top of which Lilith's corpse was... in comparison to the size of the Evas, they were about the size of SUVs. What were they supposed to be?