Your best, cheesy, in game one-liners

[Valkyira]

So a couple of days ago, me and a friend were playing co-op on Splinter Cell: Conviction. We had a group of enemies marked and were just about to execute when an enemy walked over to a window. I quickly hopped up the wall and pulled the guy out.
My friend then congratulated me on my kill, and I replied "I saw the window of opportunity". It was such a bad line but I was impressed at the speed I came up with it.

So my question for you is, what're your cheesiest one-liners while playing a game?

 

[TraderJimmy]

A friend of mine walked in as I was playing Age of Empires II with a couple of other, nerdier friends.

Casually, as he clearly didn't care, he asked who was winning.

I turned to him with my best approximation of a thousand-yard-stare and gravelled, "There are no winners in war."

You sort of had to be there, but at the time it was awesome. Ahh, University, how I miss you. And by University I mean the cloud of green smoke around Universities.

 

[GrinningManiac]

Well, I was playing a round of Unreal Tournament 3 online, and there was this guy called "The_Dentist' who was basically acting like an asshole and spamming the voice chat.

I had a sniper rifle, and I zoomed in on his head when he was sniping someone as well, I then said over voice chat "Hey dentist" "What?" "OPEN WIDE" and shot him in the face.

I felt like a bad 80's action hero.

Congratulations, you have earnt the respect of corn

Be Proud

OT: A friend of mine has the last name "Shaw". We have a lot of fun with that

Shaw - *States opinion*
Us - are you SHAW about that?

Or someone will say "Are you sure?" and we'll say "No, but HE is" pointing to Shaw

 

[ObsessiveSketch]

Straight delivery...
*Puts on sunglasses*
Witty ending observation.
????
<a href=http://www.entertonement.com/clips/pndmzxvqkl--Yeah-CSI-Miami>PROFIT

EDIT: that dentist one is bad ass.

 

[omega_peaches]

There was a guy that was playing Unreal Tournament 3 named "The_Dentist", he was mic spamming, so I said
"Have a lead mouthwash, BIATCH!" and shot him in the head with my shotgun.

 

[Samcanuck]

Duke nukem gets a clone item. He say's "Don't have time to play with myself."

 

[Sephychu]

My current favourite; "EAT A DIIICK"

Duke Nukem wins one-liners forever though.

 

[Varun Garuda Maharaj]

a time i was playing battlefield 2 and one of the enemies tried to take off in a helicopter, i took a launcher and said "flight's cancelled"

 

[MCDeltaT]

Playing Resistance: Fall Of Man online against a cocky little asshole With the name Satan_bows_to_me, or somethng like that. He spawn kills then

Satan_bows_to_me: "Yeah ***** thats why the devil bows to ME!"

Me: "Oh yeah.......well God sucks my dick"

Then I sniped him.

 

[Valkyira]

a time i was playing battlefield 2 and one of the enemies tried to take off in a helicopter, i took a launcher and said "flight's cancelled"

Haha, simple but effective.

 

[Tharwen]

There was a guy that was playing Unreal Tournament 3 named "The_Dentist", he was mic spamming, so I said
"Have a lead mouthwash, BIATCH!" and shot him in the head with my shotgun.

Well, I was playing a round of Unreal Tournament 3 online, and there was this guy called "The_Dentist' who was basically acting like an asshole and spamming the voice chat.

I had a sniper rifle, and I zoomed in on his head when he was sniping someone as well, I then said over voice chat "Hey dentist" "What?" "OPEN WIDE" and shot him in the face.

I felt like a bad 80's action hero.

Either at least one of you is lying, or the incredible powers of coincidence have smitten this thread.

 

[ECHO 062]

Firing a book at a raider in fallout 3 using the rock-it launcher.
"knowledge is power!"

 

[Omegatronacles]

There was a guy that was playing Unreal Tournament 3 named "The_Dentist", he was mic spamming, so I said
"Have a lead mouthwash, BIATCH!" and shot him in the head with my shotgun.

There was a guy that was playing Unreal Tournament 3 named "The_Dentist", he was mic spamming, so I said
"Have a lead mouthwash, BIATCH!" and shot him in the head with my shotgun.

Well, I was playing a round of Unreal Tournament 3 online, and there was this guy called "The_Dentist' who was basically acting like an asshole and spamming the voice chat.

I had a sniper rifle, and I zoomed in on his head when he was sniping someone as well, I then said over voice chat "Hey dentist" "What?" "OPEN WIDE" and shot him in the face.

I felt like a bad 80's action hero.

Either at least one of you is lying, or the incredible powers of coincidence have smitten this thread.

I'm calling shenanigans on omega_peaches. There is no shotgun in Unreal Tournament 3.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

Once i was playing a smashing round of L4D vs and got assigned to be a boomer and the people playing the survivors were in a big corner camping in the bathroom trying to be cool and i waddled in there and shouted "oh god i shouldn't have eaten that sandwich" and vomited on the group then proceeded to run away having a small chuckle to myself

 

[joshuaayt]

So some friends came over and we were playing one of the nintendo James Bond games (You know, not the GOOD one, the DECENT one) and one of the maps had an elevator in it. Now, it's useless for hiding- No little alcoves in it, and fairly small. So imagine my surprise when, whilst I was screwing around in there, one of my friends walked in backwards. He was shooting a dude, I guess. The doors closed, and the elevator began pretending to move (To teleport us) We stayed like that for a second. I pulled out one of the various stupidly overpowered guns, aimed carefully at his head, and asked "Going Down?"

 

[Ziji]

I honestly can't think of any times when I said a really cool one liner that I made up myself, but for a while (I think it was on CSS); I was playing with a few friends and after every kill I'd say a 1 liner. And it was hilarious to them because they made absolutely no sense, so yeah.

It'd be like:

"Save it for the judge" and I'd shoot a guy in the face, shit like that.

 

[MeatsOfEvil]

Your right hand comes off!?

 

[Saargston]

While I was with some bad company and on a repair tool run, I engineered this witty pun just before I drilled into a wookie sniper's head.

"Well, I hate to root for the enemy team, but I canal-ready smell defeat."

Even though I was at the lobotomy of my team's score board after the game, it was still fun to take the drill for a spin.