Your Dad Might Not Be Your Dad. Response?

[SaetonChapelle]

So father and I were looking through old photographs the other day when I spotted one of a man named Mike when he was younger, a man of whom my father had much relations with and who ended up helping to raise my father, eventually passing away in our house. Upon stating offhand that my father more resembled Mike then my biological grandfather, my father stated that to be honest, he was unsure which man was really his dad.

Apparently, my grandparents had a straining relationship, and although their first two children were theirs, it was never confirmed whether or not grandfather was actually the biological parent. Knowledgeable on my grandmothers ways, but still in love with her, grandpa remained silent. From what I have heard, they regained their affection for one another after the death of one son and close to their passing.

I asked my father why he was unaware, and if he had ever asked. His statement was:

"A lot of people never have one father to love them as they grow. I was lucky enough to have two. I'm happy with the assumption that either one could be my father."

So just curious fellow Escapists, if you were aware, or are even in a close situation, would you be curious about who your father actually was? Or are you/would you be happy in the situation you were given?

Edit: I would like for everyone to know these posts where people are stating that family doesn't mean blood relation makes my heart all warm and fuzzy~

 

[Slaanesh]

So just curious fellow Escapists, if you were aware, or are even in a close situation, would you be curious about who your father actually was? Or are you/would you be happy in the situation you were given?

Both. I would like to know who my biological father actually was(to satiate my curiosity), but I would still consider the man who raised me to be my father, blood or not. Family is what you make it. I have blood relatives I don't consider family and friends I do consider family.

 

[BeeGeenie]

I read once that a survey of European women found that almost 1 in 5 fathers are unknowingly raising someone else's child. Don't know if I believe it, or if I could find where I read it, but it makes you think.

 

[shootthebandit]

To be honest i wouldnt care if that man had raised me all my life then he would infact he my real dad. It again comes down to nature vs nurture and i personallybside with nurture

 

[Dirty Hipsters]

So just curious fellow Escapists, if you were aware, or are even in a close situation, would you be curious about who your father actually was? Or are you/would you be happy in the situation you were given?

Both. I would like to know who my biological father actually was(to satiate my curiosity), but I would still consider the man who raised me to be my father, blood or not. Family is what you make it. I have blood relatives I don't consider family and friends I do consider family.

Pretty much this.

I would want to know who my biological father is just because of health reasons, but other than that I really wouldn't care. My father is the person who raised me, not the guy who donated some genes and then fucked off.

Then again, I might be kind of happy to learn that my dad isn't my biological dad. Maybe then I'd get to keep my hair.

 

[Phasmal]

My dad's kind of crappy, so I can't really view this from the perspective of someone with a bond with their dad.

To be honest, I would probably want to know, but I have more than enough experience to know that biology does not automatically make someone a proper father.

 

[Guffe]

In that case he is the best father I've still ever had!
Would wonder a bit about why mom would've cheated on dad and if he knows about it but he's the one who's been raising me and making me who I am today!
Just to be clear, my biological dad is the dad who raised me, the statement above is just "if I'd find out"

 

[FalloutJack]

Well, it would explain a few things. My father is not like my grandfather, whom I AM like. Truth is, I'm more like my uncle, so perhaps some player trading was done at birth, I dunno.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

I wouldn't be that bothered, my dad still raised me, but I'd be interested to meet my biological dad. That said, as the third child of a happy marriage, and that I look a bit like my dad (and more and more I've been noticing I'm starting to act like him, which I actively try not to do) I doubt I'm illegitimate. I also look a lot like my oldest brother, so there's that. The middle child's the odd one out, but he looks so much like a young version of my dad it's actually a bit weird.

 

[Esotera]

I'd probably find out just in case there were any major medical history risks in the family. Asides from that I wouldn't really care that much.

 

[DevilWithaHalo]

I read once that a survey of European women found that almost 1 in 5 fathers are unknowingly raising someone else's child. Don't know if I believe it, or if I could find where I read it, but it makes you think.

http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/daddy-dearest-many-men-are-finding-out-they-are-not-the-fatherafter-all/2007/11/17/1194767021109.html
http://globalgrind.com/news/paternity-fraud-should-dna-tests-be-mandatory-newborn-babies-poll
http://www.nbc12.com/story/21416300/judge-orders-1-a-month-in-child-support (truly awesome judge)
http://www.wnd.com/2006/02/34861/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paternity_fraud
http://www.paternityfraud.com/

That should get you started. I'm still boggled why DNA testing isn't *at least* used to confirm paternity disputes as a court rule, much less when a child is actually born in a hospital prior to the "father" signing the birth certificate.

It's such a *ridiculously* easy solution to the problem and we don't do it because...?

 

[EeveeElectro]

I'd be ecstatic. I haven't even seen mine for 10 years and when he was around he was a bullying, physically and sexually abusive sack of shit. Knowing you're related to that can bug you sometimes.
I'd be miffed on my mums behalf putting up with him because she had kids with him but at least we're okay now.
I'd like to get in touch because I do miss a father figure but I'm okay by myself if he doesn't.

 

[hazabaza1]

My dad is my dad. Family's about a lot more than blood, and while I would be curious, nobody's replacing him.

 

[SaetonChapelle]

People responses with "family is more then just blood" makes me feel happy inside.

 

[IndomitableSam]

My mom (and aunt) are adopted so this is a topic that's been addressed before. My mom feels that the people who raised her are her family, while her birth parents are just the people who gave birth to her (she doesn't know them). My aunt does know her birth family (different than my mom's), and saw both parents as parents.

As for me... I know I'm my dad's daughter as I have inherited a ton fo his family's traits... except that I also look exactly like my mother, with the blue eyes of my dad's side, the droopy eyelids and the body shape of all the women on his side. All of my dad's sister's grandchildren look exactly like we did as children, too.

My mom always joked we looked like the milkman, though. And we actually did have a milkman who kinda did look like my dad. Thin, light brown hair, blue eyes... Except I know that's a joke.

As for wanting to know? Eh... the want to know my health history has always been there, but my mom has always said she got all the family she needed from her parents, and that she didn't need her birth parents to feel any better or more sure of anything. I'd probably feel the same. My dad is the man who raised me, no matter what.

 

[SaetonChapelle]

My mom (and aunt) are adopted so this is a topic that's been addressed before. My mom feels that the people who raised her are her family, while her birth parents are just the people who gave birth to her (she doesn't know them). My aunt does know her birth family (different than my mom's), and saw both parents as parents.

As for me... I know I'm my dad's daughter as I have inherited a ton fo his family's traits... except that I also look exactly like my mother, with the blue eyes of my dad's side, the droopy eyelids and the body shape of all the women on his side. All of my dad's sister's grandchildren look exactly like we did as children, too.

My mom always joked we looked like the milkman, though. And we actually did have a milkman who kinda did look like my dad. Thin, light brown hair, blue eyes... Except I know that's a joke.

As for wanting to know? Eh... the want to know my health history has always been there, but my mom has always said she got all the family she needed from her parents, and that she didn't need her birth parents to feel any better or more sure of anything. I'd probably feel the same. My dad is the man who raised me, no matter what.

xD Your family sounds like mine. Due to my mothers... uhh... extensive lifestyle, my father would joke that one of the men she was seeing was the milkman, and he was my real dad. Freaked me out when I was young.... Still a little concerned. Oo

 

[IndomitableSam]

My mom (and aunt) are adopted so this is a topic that's been addressed before. My mom feels that the people who raised her are her family, while her birth parents are just the people who gave birth to her (she doesn't know them). My aunt does know her birth family (different than my mom's), and saw both parents as parents.

As for me... I know I'm my dad's daughter as I have inherited a ton fo his family's traits... except that I also look exactly like my mother, with the blue eyes of my dad's side, the droopy eyelids and the body shape of all the women on his side. All of my dad's sister's grandchildren look exactly like we did as children, too.

My mom always joked we looked like the milkman, though. And we actually did have a milkman who kinda did look like my dad. Thin, light brown hair, blue eyes... Except I know that's a joke.

As for wanting to know? Eh... the want to know my health history has always been there, but my mom has always said she got all the family she needed from her parents, and that she didn't need her birth parents to feel any better or more sure of anything. I'd probably feel the same. My dad is the man who raised me, no matter what.

xD Your family sounds like mine. Due to my mothers... uhh... extensive lifestyle, my father would joke that one of the men she was seeing was the milkman, and he was my real dad. Freaked me out when I was young.... Still a little concerned. Oo

My mom wasn't like that, as far as I know. They just had their 40th wedding anniversary, so I kinda doubt it. I know they;d had their problems, and a little part of me suspects there may have been some cheating in the past, but they're past it and won't speak of it to us, so that's that. My mother has had a -lot- of issues in life, and there are a lot of things I don't know about her (and never will or want to) but I know my dad is my dad, and my dad wouldn't put up with really horrible things.

 

[SaetonChapelle]

My mom (and aunt) are adopted so this is a topic that's been addressed before. My mom feels that the people who raised her are her family, while her birth parents are just the people who gave birth to her (she doesn't know them). My aunt does know her birth family (different than my mom's), and saw both parents as parents.

As for me... I know I'm my dad's daughter as I have inherited a ton fo his family's traits... except that I also look exactly like my mother, with the blue eyes of my dad's side, the droopy eyelids and the body shape of all the women on his side. All of my dad's sister's grandchildren look exactly like we did as children, too.

My mom always joked we looked like the milkman, though. And we actually did have a milkman who kinda did look like my dad. Thin, light brown hair, blue eyes... Except I know that's a joke.

As for wanting to know? Eh... the want to know my health history has always been there, but my mom has always said she got all the family she needed from her parents, and that she didn't need her birth parents to feel any better or more sure of anything. I'd probably feel the same. My dad is the man who raised me, no matter what.

xD Your family sounds like mine. Due to my mothers... uhh... extensive lifestyle, my father would joke that one of the men she was seeing was the milkman, and he was my real dad. Freaked me out when I was young.... Still a little concerned. Oo

My mom wasn't like that, as far as I know. They just had their 40th wedding anniversary, so I kinda doubt it. I know they;d had their problems, and a little part of me suspects there may have been some cheating in the past, but they're past it and won't speak of it to us, so that's that. My mother has had a -lot- of issues in life, and there are a lot of things I don't know about her (and never will or want to) but I know my dad is my dad, and my dad wouldn't put up with really horrible things.

xD I apologize! I didnt mean for you to think I assumed your mother was like mine, I totally understood what you meant by your writing. That's so cute though. Congrats to your parents~

 

[IndomitableSam]

xD I apologize! I didnt mean for you to think I assumed your mother was like mine, I totally understood what you meant by your writing. That's so cute though. Congrats to your parents~

Hah, no problem. Nobody would think my family was anywhere near perfect.

Edit: Sorry, at work and hiding posting a bit.

Yeah, I didn't take offense at all. No worries.