Your deepest darkest secret experience that you never dare tell anyone about.

[Saulkar]

Ummmm. Nothing I can say without condemning myself whilst at the same time I can guarantee that no one and their property, or me, was harmed, hurt, or wronged in any way. Just silly things I did that have tremendous consequences that boggle the mind, and are somewhat embarrassing. Let that run through your head.

 

[Omnicide]

Well in spite of people holding in their secret out of protest, I do have an embarassing story. Hell, this place offers a degree of anonymity, so why not?

When I was 12 or so my famliy spent a day at a local amusement park. After a few hours of fun and so forth, time to go to the bathroom. This one was pretty crowded and so I had to wait for a urinal to be available.

When one was, I approached the urinal and unzipped, getting ready to release. I was just about to when I noticed there was a pretty big puddle of.... something (in reality it was probably just water leaked from some plumbing or something)... underneath that urinal, and I was standing in a part of it. Wanting to know the source, I turned around and started looking without realizing that yes, my junk was still hanging out there. Probably spent 15 seconds loking like a slackjawed idiot before I caught the strangest glance of a guy who was probably 17 years old or so. He was glaring at me. I didn't know why, and he must have realized this, because a quick glance downward and back up sent me the message that yeah, I was hanging out there. I covered up, turned around, took care of my business and got the hell out of that bathroom after that. Not sure how many people noticed it aside from this one, including if any of my brothers got a good look.

Never shared that until now. Wonder how theraputic this will be. XD

 

[Death Carr]

My dark secret is that... I.... I.... eat lots of bacon

OHGODIMSOASHAMED!!!!

OT:
My second biggest, second darkest decret is probably that I stole a deck of pornographic playing cards from my Uncle.

 

[Muphin_Mann]

To the person who stole porno playing cards: In Hawaii i bought a pack of those off a street merchant when i was like 14.

" Your deepest darkest secret experience that you never dare tell anyone about. "

Yes...but my darkest secret experiance isnt embarassing. It was witnessing a horrible traumatic event from a few feet away.

 

[EHKOS]

I almost killed a kid once. Well, we were both kids and I threw something at him and knocked him unconscious. For a minute there I really did think I killed him. The secret part is that I really didn't care to much.
Uh, oh yeah and when I was going through my oedipus complex I masturbated in my moms bed once. Now I'm pretty disgusted by that one...THANKS OP.

 

[Torrasque]

Self-defeating thread is self-defeating? It is no deep dark secret that I will never share with anyone... if I share it with someone
I like how most of these are drunk stories. Well done sirs, well done.

 

[Arakasi]

Oddly enough I can't really think of anything.
I would have thought I had, but I really don't...

Edit: I suppose that's the downside (upside?) of not drinking.

 

[Doclector]

Now, if I told you that, it wouldn't be a secret anymore, would it? And it's a big, bad secret.

I have one thing I'll tell, though. All my friends, everyone sees me as a happy eccentric. A nut who occasionally drinks more than he should. Really, I have a lot of problems. A few of them make me feel like utter s*** from time to time. I know I'm a freak. I know I've strayed so far from "normal" that I don't understand most people, and they don't understand me. That makes any kind of meaningful relationship impossible. I worry about my future. In two years, I'll step out of uni into a cruel world in which I am but a helpless victim of numerous authorities who never come out of their marble towers long enough to be bought to real justice, read, the kind of justice that doesn't involve a court they can squirm around. I've got a hundred bad memories that pop up every now and again, and they threaten to destroy what little sanity I have left.

But I can't tell anyone. They depend on me to make them laugh. It's a job I gladly accept, because it usually makes me feel good too, but sometimes, it's damn hard. I guess I can handle it because I can remember times that were so much worse. This feels bad, but I know damn well I've survived worse.

 

[Bassik]

My deepest darkest secret? Shall I tell you? Let me whisper it to youuuuuu....

I listen to the Electric Light Orchestra... unironicly. I really like this band.

As for embarrassing stories, I am afraid I have very few, and none are fit for a message board.

 

[Zack Alklazaris]

My "dark secrets" and secrets for a reason, but I do have something very embarrassing happen to me. I remember when my parents first found my porn collection. I was 16 and she found EVERYTHING! My history, my physical stash, everything. It also didn't help that at the time I was experimenting with bondage and fetish porn on top of it all. So it wasn't just normal porn it was all kinds of stuff.

My Mom and Dad had it laid out on the kitchen table and told me to sit down. All of it was just laying there with my parents going through it. My Dad silent and my mom talking about how it degrades women. I remember my Dad saying how I'm just another teenager and this is normal. My Mom screaming sarcastically as she waves women tied up in front of our facing "Oh yea, THIS is normal!"

I'm sure there is more, but I think my mind blacked out after that.

All I remember was wanting to just die right there, didn't care how, just wanted to die.

 

[maddness666]

I don't have any "Dark Secrets" but I do have an amusing and embarassing tale.
When I was in primary school we were having swimming lessons. We took our swimming costumes to the swimming pool, got changed and then learned to swim. Except I hit a minor complication in that I couldn't find my swimming trunks. So, having all the selfawareness of a naked ten year old I ran out of the changing room into the greater pool area (Where my classmates and teacher were assembled) so as to loudly shout "I couldn't find my trunks!" in way of an appeal to my teacher that she, as the omnipotent power closest to hand could come and fix my problem. It was a rather popular tale to be retold whenever I was in earshot and gossip was thin on the ground.

On a related note, I effectively stole some older kid's shorts after my teacher had asked to borrow them on my behalf. I could never find him again.

On another related note, after the swimming lesson I found my trunks. My mother had rolled them inside my towel. They were in my bag the whole time.

 

[A Raging Emo]

Not the worst, buuut...

My friends and I went out one night, and got very, very drunk. We roamed around town for a bit, and wandered into pubs and tried to convince people to buy us a few pints. It worked, surprisingly, for the most part, but once we got a little bit too out of it, we couldn't even get back in.

So we went to a few shops to see if they were still open, and the ones that were we bought a lot of Vodka from, which we proceeded to drink. Straight.

We met up with a few more of our mates, and we went and got them shitfaced as well. Last thing I remember before waking up was pushing this girl I know down the high street in a shopping trolley.

After that, two of my mates and I woke up in a cul-de-sac, hungover out of our minds, under a tree, and we had all either acquired or lost some items of clothing.

I still don't know how that happened, but we ended up on the other side of town to where we started. Luckily, I lived close by and we all went to mine and had bacon and eggs for breakfast.