Your Favourite Zero Punctuation Quotes!

[TheSKSpecial]

"If you give players a sandbox world full of guns, cars, and squishy blood-filled people, they are going to want to FUCK THIS WORLD'S SHIT UP."

"Condemned 2 by contrast ends on a stupid looking tower The Combine could have thrown together if they were all drunk, and the final boss fight you win by shouting so loud his brain explodes. I WISH I WAS FUCKING KIDDING.

"The Americans behave as if they're heroes in their own action movie... you know, just like in real life. And the British are depicted as a bunch of morally questionable psychotic thugs...again just like in real life."

"All games are about realizing a fantasy, whether it be the fantasy of being a courageous war hero, the fantasy of being a future space adventurer, or in the case of some Japanese games the fantasy of having 8 prehensile dicks."

 

[Berndawg69]

" you cant stick your dick in pudding and expect anyone to eat it.... it might still be perfectly good pudding but nobody is going to eat it because you stuck your dick in it!" something along those lines

 

[valiantcid]

"Half-Life 2, Episode 2, Manchester United 0"

"Team Fortress 2, Liverpool 0"

=D =D

 

[TxMxRonin]

"I keep having to pause the game to bring up my little mini map and like a menstruating women falling from the top of a tall building, breaks flow."

 

[kdragon1010]

what game was he reviewing where the gun shoots shurikens and lightning? I wanna shoot shurikens and lightning at people

 

[Mr Scott]

"Without further ado: go Team Retard!"

"Imagine you just woke up from a 20 year coma and you celebrate by drinking two bottles of Mad-Dog 20/20 and pilot a helicopter bearing a cargo of enraged hippopotami."

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

Ba Dum Tsssh!

 

[TheSKSpecial]

what game was he reviewing where the gun shoots shurikens and lightning? I wanna shoot shurikens and lightning at people

Painkiller.

 

[Dastardos]

The MUMORPUGUR and Silent Hill review where he said he would eat his own anus.

 

[Abedeus]

"I like the idea of a 'professional troll', though. Makes me think of a hideous creature living under a bridge, handing out business cards."

And of course...

"Speaking as a person who is white enough to afford all the consoles, this is probably the most balanced generation of all time with it all coming down to what you personally want in a console. The Wii is an excitable little yappy bastard, good with children, but a little exhausting. The PS3 is a big dependable black monster, slow but lovably bringing in your slippers every morning. And the 360 is just a good all-arounder that only occasionally pisses itself and dies."

 

[ampa451]

when the characters eyes are wider than normal. not a quote but its funny

 

[Bourne Endeavor]

"Okay he has me there, I did point out everything that is bad about a game, but I'm a critic, it would be weird if I didn't. If I put people's balls in my mouth I'd be a prostitute or possibly a Gamespot employ."

 

[Muir]

"I'm not a fanboy. YES YOU ARE."

 

[CooLa]

Sonic the Hedgehog is sort of like a rock star of the video gaming industry. He fronted a succession of extremely popular titles, made enough money to buy St. Paul's Cathedral and grind it into a fine snortable powder, hung around with a lot of suspiciously effeminate young boys, abused a number of forbidden substances, spiraled downward as inevitably as Al Qaeda Airways, weathered a few very embarrassing attempts to re-grab the spotlight, and now his shows are only attended by peoples' dads who can only shake their heads in despair at the unshaven drug-addled spaz onstage whose pathetic spurts of activity masquerading as entertainment only serve to highlight both his and his audience's mutual decline into inexorable piss-dribbling old age. All he needs to do now is hang himself on a doorknob while having a wank!

 

[Hookman]

"Go Team Retard!"
or
"Pants-on-head retarded!"

 

[ampa451]

essflawcondodgeckindesimudstorliketersockity

 

[Failhammer]

"Once you accept Lego Star Wars where does it end? Playmobil Battlestar Galactica, Duplo Firefly, Meccano Dune? Yeah, I'm done milking that joke.
I guess at first I....WAIT! I got another one; Stickle Bricks Babylon 5? Sorry."
"Relasing videos on Youtube is kind of like throwing messages in bottles out into a churning sea made up entirely of messages in bottles."

 

[Audemas]

I mean once you except Lego Star Wars, where does it end? Playmobile Battlestar Galactica, Duplo Firefly, Meccano Dune. Yeah I'm done milking that joke I WAIT I got another one, Stickle Bricks Babylon 5.

 

[Leviathan_]

"I wish I could come up with somthing like that. I mean it shoots shurikens and lightening, it could only be more awsome if it had tits and was on fire"

that slays me all the time

 

[DigitalSushi]

"also Atari has released good games, the Wii totally has lasting appeal and Ciff Bleziinski Isn't AN EXTREMELLY SEXY MAN, HURHURHUR, sorry"