Your first day at a new job: Offer survival tactics

[PoolCleaningRobot]

How old are you? Im 36. Im the same age of some peoples dad. lol DO YOUR HOMEWORK!!

One rule is never take sides or believe or comment on anything. Office politics. You never know who hates whom and what issues there is. As the guy in 13 comment said, observe. Not good to alienate people until you know whats going on. Especailly if you are on a probation period, dont want to annoy those that can end you job if they wanted.

I lost a job because they insulted a girl behind her back. But when i met her she was nice and friendly. Also i wont join in with bad mouthing people that i dont know. 1 month later, unemployed because i was on my probation period. Sigh.

I second this. DO NOT be temped to gossip. It almost bit me in the ass once but the girl who was pissed at me seems to have completely forgotten. Most people don't get that luckily. It was also advice one of the more senior employees where I work gave me. He told me he's seen people fired on the their first day for saying the wrong shit about the wrong person

Ugh. Reminds me I'm going to have to try and find a new job by the end of the year (a co-op in my field of study). It sucks being the new guy

 

[shootthebandit]

Take your trousers off, get comfortable.

If you get challenged, prepare an explanation that blows minds.

You are saying that as if wearing trousers is supposed to be normal at work. If you work in overalls chances are most people have just got a pair of boxers on unless its the middle of winter

 

[SonOfVoorhees]

How old are you? Im 36. Im the same age of some peoples dad. lol DO YOUR HOMEWORK!!

One rule is never take sides or believe or comment on anything. Office politics. You never know who hates whom and what issues there is. As the guy in 13 comment said, observe. Not good to alienate people until you know whats going on. Especailly if you are on a probation period, dont want to annoy those that can end you job if they wanted.

I lost a job because they insulted a girl behind her back. But when i met her she was nice and friendly. Also i wont join in with bad mouthing people that i dont know. 1 month later, unemployed because i was on my probation period. Sigh.

I second this. DO NOT be temped to gossip. It almost bit me in the ass once but the girl who was pissed at me seems to have completely forgotten. Most people don't get that luckily. It was also advice one of the more senior employees where I work gave me. He told me he's seen people fired on the their first day for saying the wrong shit about the wrong person

Ugh. Reminds me I'm going to have to try and find a new job by the end of the year (a co-op in my field of study). It sucks being the new guy

Yes, got to play it non commital until you know what the politics are. Bloody annoying when your doing the job to work and make money and you have to put up with all that office bullshit.

Im jealous, dont have a field of study. Sounds like your doing something intelligent. Being new sucks, but think of your career and you will do awesome.

 

[Alcamonic]

I would mainly give you the advice of treating other people with respect but expect nothing in return.
Also, don't put up with crap such as name-calling, sexual harassment and other dickmoves by employees or boss. Showing you have gut and self-respect will make them respect you in turn.

 

[chinangel]

assume nothing, apologize for everything and keep your mouth shut. Seems rather fatalistic but right now you know nothing about other people's sense of humor, how your job works and what your boss is like. be patient and gravitate towards like-wise personalities. Be a good person and learn.

 

[PoolCleaningRobot]

Im jealous, dont have a field of study. Sounds like your doing something intelligent. Being new sucks, but think of your career and you will do awesome.

Its just a fancy way of saying I'm in college Though my next job will hopefully be in a lab, I'll probably be testing Spaghetti-O's for E. coli. Oh well. Gotta start somewhere. I'll miss having a job where I can sit my desk and post here (like I'm doing now)

 

[Zen Bard]

I've been in the workforce for over two-and-a-half decades. I've worked for a government research project, small companies and start-ups and am currently in a Fortune 50 corporation. And I've been both an "individual contributor" and a middle-manager.

Not bragging...just establishing credibility.

So here's my five cents:

1) Ask your boss his/her expectations of you for the first ninety days and get them in writing.

2) Schedule periodic review meetings with your boss and bring those written expectations with you.

3) Pay close attention to the office politics and get the lay of the land. Everyone's going to give you their opinion of the work environment. Thank them for their advice, but hang back for awhile and form your own judgments.

4) Get a feel for people's sense of humor. If you're unsure how a joke or funny comment will go over, keep it to yourself until you get a better idea of the personalities in the office.

5) Don't be afraid to ask for help or to make a mistake. Every new employee gets some kind of "honeymoon" period while they learn their way around.

All this has been cultivated from experience (and I was only fired once!)

 

[Gormech]

Everyone seems to have gotten the boss/worker relationship thing down so here's something that may help someone else:

Watch what the best employees are doing that the others are not.

It can be something as simple as scanning a sticker before putting it on a box to save time.
It can be as complex as a customized station layout that reduces wasted motions.

Pay attention.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Make a friend at work if at all possible. Learning the ropes from someone you can stand is a great first step. Work hard, don't stand around doing nothing and above all watch what others are doing. Learn the tools and tricks of the trade, talk to people in other departments inbetween tasks and OH MY GOD I'VE BEEN AT THIS JOB FOR OVER A YEAR.

 

[knight steel]

It Important to show your dominance-find the Alpha male/Female of the workplace-and challenge them to a fight,if they refuse provoke them by stealing and having sex with their partner in front of them-Then engage in the battle to the death,make sure you do so in front of everyone else in the workforce-aim for the throat and gorge it out-when you have won devour the corpse so you may gain the persons strength-you are now the new boss of your work place enjoy ^_^

 

[Dags90]

Its just a fancy way of saying I'm in college Though my next job will hopefully be in a lab, I'll probably be testing Spaghetti-O's for E. coli. Oh well. Gotta start somewhere. I'll miss having a job where I can sit my desk and post here (like I'm doing now)

You might miss your ability to post when you finally find yourself in a lab.

I try to follow a three strikes rule when it comes to asking questions. You can ask the same question no more than three times before people will start getting irritated. This might be particular to my lab, but be honest about your mistakes because it'll come back to bite you later. Again, this is particular to lab work: trust no one. When someone leaves you something to finish, check what they've done to see if they've made mistakes.

 

[Marcus Kehoe]

Try to make a penis showing game

 

[frizzlebyte]

Jesus.... Shit is why I wish to be self-employed.

I don't know how you folks with "real" jobs tolerate it. Follow a corporate structure, sorrounded by a bunch of backstabbers, the knife constantly dangling over your head cause ya know they could let you go/fire you at any time at a matter of will.

Honest, I rather be self-employed and poor then have to deal with that. That sounds like hell.

No kidding. If you can swing it, that's the way to go. That kind of crap is one reason I am going into academics. I'm sure there is just as much crap there, but I'm pretty sure the relative autonomy will make up for it.

 

[Therumancer]

Hmmm, well it depends on the job to be honest. To be fair one of the habits I had to learn when being a newbie is to have a bit of confidence. If your meek all the time this can be as bad as being a know it all, and what's more being too careful is exactly how people unintentionally wind up doing the whole "turn into a douche after the 90 days" thing. Nobody can be expected to be perfect all the time, and while you need to be careful, you also don't want to be too perfect, or too meek. While this can depend on the job, it's important to also remember that if they let you in the door that means they recognized ability, this is especially true if there was some degree of competition for the job, while you might be easily replaced (and you always are) part of the trick is to make it clear you know what your doing.

Having done a few interviews and a lot of training myself (albeit for internal stuff as opposed to new hires) I'll say that in general if things are working by the time 90 days are done nobody is going to really notice much when the probation period is done and it becomes an "oh by the way" thing. In short if anyone is watching the clock, either the newbie, or the people hiring him, when that 90 day mark comes, chances are he's not a good fit. Basically if we pulled a new security officer from another department by 90 days that guy should by rights be doing everything he's supposed to on his own without needing a watchdog, and perhaps more importantly (especially in a job like that) will have gotten in trouble and you'll see how they react to it.

In general the first 2-3 weeks are the time for that "Dad Advice" IMO, while I've seen people recover from a bad start, for the most part it's all about how well you do on your own.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

Jesus.... Shit is why I wish to be self-employed.

I don't know how you folks with "real" jobs tolerate it. Follow a corporate structure, sorrounded by a bunch of backstabbers, the knife constantly dangling over your head cause ya know they could let you go/fire you at any time at a matter of will.

Honest, I rather be self-employed and poor then have to deal with that. That sounds like hell.

No kidding. If you can swing it, that's the way to go. That kind of crap is one reason I am going into academics. I'm sure there is just as much crap there, but I'm pretty sure the relative autonomy will make up for it.

Really God bless you guys that can tolerate that bullshit, cause I just can't. At very least not in a line of work that amounts to a paycheck. When I worked prowrestling shows doing ring crew, I didn't mind any of it one bit but that was because I did it out of passion than anything else.