Your funeral
- Thread starter Blame it on Ben
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Viking funeral with Great Gig in the Sky playing as I get launched into the air in a capsule surrounded by high explosives that explode when the song reaches it's climax..
Or I'd like to be cyrogenically frozen and put in the lobby of my own company with a voice recording saying stuff like "Hey there!" "You're shoe's untied" "I'm watching your soul" when people walk by just to fuck with them.
Or I'd like to be cyrogenically frozen and put in the lobby of my own company with a voice recording saying stuff like "Hey there!" "You're shoe's untied" "I'm watching your soul" when people walk by just to fuck with them.
I want the whole world to stand silent for one hour to remember me and for a giant 60 ft tall statue comprised of golden Lego blocks of me set up in Saskatchewan, giving the province some tourism at last. The statue is surround by well paid, armed guards at all times.
Nothing big at all. Some family and friends, a good home cooked meal, some laughs, a few tears, just a celebration of life. If you can't find a good reason to tell a joke about the person in the casket, then you have no reason to be at the funeral. I want people to remember my life, not my cold, lifeless body.
A graveyard, nothing fancy either, just a small marker with "Watch This". And a birth date, with no death date, just for paranoia fuel. Accompanied by a single person playing Greensleeves on the bagpipes in the rain. No mourners, just that.
A good ol' Catholic funeral, with music provided by Coldplay, who also wrote a song in memory to me. I would then have all in attendance be flown to Mexico, where I would be wrapped in the Mexican flag by the presiding President and placed in an altar, where the Pope would take over and finish the ceremony. When His Holiness is finished, my body will be placed in a casket and I will be buried in my hometown, where the Mexican National Anthem will be played as I am lowered into the grave, and all of the verses will be sung. When the singing is over, the mourners will then be given an Aztec artifact that I had purchased in my will.
Sorry for the paragraph, but I had to go all out for my 500th post.
Sorry for the paragraph, but I had to go all out for my 500th post.
You see, I intend on... messing with my family and friends. When I die, my wife (if still alive, if not, my brother) will read a letter found in my coat pocket. The letter is as follows,
"So it would seem I've vanished, eh? Knowing me, it was in some stupid way. So, I have a few things to say. Firstly, will all the women please block their ears until the reader motions for you to no longer do so. Alright gentlemen: There are 50 copies of a map in my personal safe under my bed. Said map will lead you to a location somewhere in the world. At this place, you will find a chest full of many valuable things I have collected, such as old, untouched coins. Oh, there is also about 600,000 dollars in there, and a reservation to any restaurant of your choosing. With this money and reservation, I expect the winning gentlemen to get some class A pussy. Now, you have been paired off, and your partner is written on the map with your name on it. The ladies are not to be informed of this little game, but now you may let them hear my will and all that malarkey."
I am intent on having this set up, and I will have the chest hidden away on the land my family originates from: A mountainous area in Ireland (not sure where it is exactly), but inside the chest, there is an envelope. When the winner opens it, they will find a letter that says, "Who ever is reading this, you really need to get laid. P.S.: Have a dollar, take out the fabric of the chest." There, they will find a dollar... with the troll face instead of George Washington, drawn by a skilled artist.
I put too much thought into that.
"So it would seem I've vanished, eh? Knowing me, it was in some stupid way. So, I have a few things to say. Firstly, will all the women please block their ears until the reader motions for you to no longer do so. Alright gentlemen: There are 50 copies of a map in my personal safe under my bed. Said map will lead you to a location somewhere in the world. At this place, you will find a chest full of many valuable things I have collected, such as old, untouched coins. Oh, there is also about 600,000 dollars in there, and a reservation to any restaurant of your choosing. With this money and reservation, I expect the winning gentlemen to get some class A pussy. Now, you have been paired off, and your partner is written on the map with your name on it. The ladies are not to be informed of this little game, but now you may let them hear my will and all that malarkey."
I am intent on having this set up, and I will have the chest hidden away on the land my family originates from: A mountainous area in Ireland (not sure where it is exactly), but inside the chest, there is an envelope. When the winner opens it, they will find a letter that says, "Who ever is reading this, you really need to get laid. P.S.: Have a dollar, take out the fabric of the chest." There, they will find a dollar... with the troll face instead of George Washington, drawn by a skilled artist.
I put too much thought into that.
I don't care what people do, I just don't want them to be sad. I want my funeral to be a party. I want all of my family and friends celebrating my life, not mourning my death. Life goes on for those alive. They need to use my death as a reminder of that simple fact.
