Your Last Dick Move

[Zeke the Freak]

WWWWwweeeeeLLLLLL...
I drilled a hole in my freinds light bulb.
Then i filled it up to the filliment with my homebrew napalm.
I insert a small packet of black powder (to direct the blast).
I inserted it so it faces EXACTLY towards his (MY) new (STOLEN) blankets (MY FUCKING GRANDMA GAVE ME THOSE! before she went to a better place. florida).
Then I waited for him to flick the light switch on, then BOOSH!
It failed horribly and i ended up helping him buy a new bed, couch, liquer cabinet and paint the walls.

 

[The Shade]

Some people who looked thoroughly lost at the college a couple days ago asked me for directions to the main entrance. So I gave them their directions. Except I was directing them to the on-campus bar. Worst part is, I was actually headed to the main entrance myself.

*zing*

 

[Zeke the Freak]

Another funny time is when my asshole friend of mine cheated with my girlfreind.
He always drove down a dirt road to get to work in the morinin. So I went all macgyver and made a land mine (tack, pill bottle, shotgun shell) and burried it where his right tire tracks were. So I hid in a bush and watched from a far (like 100 feet away with binoculars) and it worked out WAY better then i thought it would. He thought he was getting shot at so he ducked in his car for like, half an hour. By then the cops rolled and an it was time for me to make like a tree and get the hell out of there.

 

[wwjdftw]

Another funny time is when my asshole friend of mine cheated with my girlfreind.
He always drove down a dirt road to get to work in the morinin. So I went all macgyver and made a land mine (tack, pill bottle, shotgun shell) and burried it where his right tire tracks were. So I hid in a bush and watched from a far (like 100 feet away with binoculars) and it worked out WAY better then i thought it would. He thought he was getting shot at so he ducked in his car for like, half an hour. By then the cops rolled and an it was time for me to make like a tree and get the hell out of there.

message me how to make this i am deeply intruiged.

 

[megapenguinx]

Roommate was in our room with some chick, I was taking a shower, come back to find tape on our door (translation don't come in). But I was wet, tired, and in just a towel so I said, "screw it", burst in and just made myself comfortable.
I guess it's not really a dick move but it is pretty bad.

 

[NotAPie]

My girlfriend called me and said she had the swine flu, I cried like hell, few weeks later she tells me it was all a joke.

Im usually like "haha you got me " right that time I told her "WHAT THE FUCK!?" I was walking home when she told me, now, I was really fucking pissed at her, I got her gift that she sent me (its a teddy bear) I told her I have a suprise for her, and she belived me, when I got home I put on my webcam and got her to view I set the god damn fucking bear on fire.

She had me beliveing she would die...what the fuck...
I didn't know what the swine flu was that time, now I know its rare for it to kill you but seriously...that was fucked up...

 

[Bourne Endeavor]

Hmm I few a recall over the years

- Some jerk cut in front of me and then slowed down, so once I had the opportunity, I cut over to the other side of the rode, flew by him, went back into the right lane, dropped my speed but stayed in the middle of the line so he could not pass as traffic started to pile on the other lane. He was not impressed.

- Flipped a guy off for stopping to let a few kids cross. Reason? The kids stopped, then he stopped to let them by, they didn't go by at first, so he went, then they did, then he stopped; basically it was stop/go for a few seconds and it was irritating me. The guy actually got out of the car after I flipped him off, which was amusing. Too bad my mother was the one driving and did the typical mother thing: Apology, blah, blah. So I just sat there and ignored him, wanted to smart off.

- Found out someone had plagiarized, so I had my friend, who was staffing there, grant me Admin access and I deleted everything, including all accounts, rules, posts; leaving just a "Payback's a ***** isn't it" caption as the heading before deleting my account as well, which meant the guy could not even recover the website since no one could access the Admin panel.

 

[Fatalis67]

I was paintballing and was the only person on my team in the area and was holding out behind cover. Some kid probably 10-11 years old comes out carrying two of the heavy-as-hell, super inaccurate rental guns. He's firing from the hip and missing completely and could barely walk from the weight. I shot him in the face and while he was wiping the paint from his goggles so he could see I shot him in the crotch about 8 times. He cried. I laughed my ass off.

 

[mike1921]

My girlfriend called me and said she had the swine flu, I cried like hell, few weeks later she tells me it was all a joke.

Im usually like "haha you got me " right that time I told her "WHAT THE FUCK!?" I was walking home when she told me, now, I was really fucking pissed at her, I got her gift that she sent me (its a teddy bear) I told her I have a suprise for her, and she belived me, when I got home I put on my webcam and got her to view I set the god damn fucking bear on fire.

She had me beliveing she would die...what the fuck...
I didn't know what the swine flu was that time, now I know its rare for it to kill you but seriously...that was fucked up...

............... is all I could say

Oh yea, and I hear swine flu, while capable of killing you, isn't likely enough to kill you to make you cry.

 

[NotAPie]

My girlfriend called me and said she had the swine flu, I cried like hell, few weeks later she tells me it was all a joke.

Im usually like "haha you got me " right that time I told her "WHAT THE FUCK!?" I was walking home when she told me, now, I was really fucking pissed at her, I got her gift that she sent me (its a teddy bear) I told her I have a suprise for her, and she belived me, when I got home I put on my webcam and got her to view I set the god damn fucking bear on fire.

She had me beliveing she would die...what the fuck...
I didn't know what the swine flu was that time, now I know its rare for it to kill you but seriously...that was fucked up...

............... is all I could say

Oh yea, and I hear swine flu, while capable of killing you, isn't likely enough to kill you to make you cry.

I didn't know anything about the swine flu, D: She told me "oh its a flu that can kill you *cough*" I was scared and really sad, I only found out about it like after I made her cry. >_> also....Nice avatar I love hellsing.

 

[SomeLameStuff]

One of my friends kept nicking my fries. It pissed me off and he knew it, but he did it anyway.

One day, I had enough. When he nicked one, I grabbed a handfull and crammed them into his mouth. While he was choking on them, I slammed his head into the table. Broke his nose too.

 

[mike1921]

My girlfriend called me and said she had the swine flu, I cried like hell, few weeks later she tells me it was all a joke.

Im usually like "haha you got me " right that time I told her "WHAT THE FUCK!?" I was walking home when she told me, now, I was really fucking pissed at her, I got her gift that she sent me (its a teddy bear) I told her I have a suprise for her, and she belived me, when I got home I put on my webcam and got her to view I set the god damn fucking bear on fire.

She had me beliveing she would die...what the fuck...
I didn't know what the swine flu was that time, now I know its rare for it to kill you but seriously...that was fucked up...

............... is all I could say

Oh yea, and I hear swine flu, while capable of killing you, isn't likely enough to kill you to make you cry.

I didn't know anything about the swine flu, D: She told me "oh its a flu that can kill you *cough*" I was scared and really sad, I only found out about it like after I made her cry. >_> also....Nice avatar I love hellsing.

Oh, in that case you should've made the punishment match the crime. Meet horrible horrible fear of loss of life with horrible horrible fear of loss of life. How you could do that or something similar, I don't know. Maybe break into her house and pretend to be a murderer or something? Or maybe light her hair on fire and put it out before it significantly hurts her.


Thanks, I don't see how someone couldn't love hellsing.

 

[Blanks]

In star craft, I covered half the map in photon cannons and surround my enemies base, i then destroyed all of their detectors followed by a surge of dark templars.

Sure it's a game, but i say it would be a dick move

 

[FranzTyphid]

group of 5 or 6 year old kids walked by and i yelled out "SANTAS NOT REAL!" and they all burst into tears.

what i do that all the time
for a while at the start of 1st year in high school i was really shan to almost everybody
and i got in a fight with one
he got owned....

 

[Lukeydoodly]

Since I never go out to be a complete dick, last time was when I was in school and I kicked a chair into a girl and she fell over infront of 200 people. Oops.