"Now look what you did, you made me get my new weapon and outfit all dirty. This is why we can't have nice things."
OR
"Well... guess I really am a big damn hero. Go figure."
OR
I say nothing, grimace and let my long jacket blow in the breeze as I put my weapon away. I then walk in a slightly relaxed, yet still serious way back to my vehicle and ride/drive quickly away from the scene.