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- Thread starter Drazeric
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'I... uh... FUCK! Um... Pub, anyone?'
Then a lengthy discussion on the way back about how awesome I was.
Then a lengthy discussion on the way back about how awesome I was.
"Where's my goddamn achievement?"
"I REALLY hope there's no new game plus..."
"Someone had better write a Wikipedia article about me, I fuckin deserve it."
"Pool's closed kids."
"I feel like some sort of tactical geniu.....CREEEEED!!!!"
"I REALLY hope there's no new game plus..."
"Someone had better write a Wikipedia article about me, I fuckin deserve it."
"Pool's closed kids."
"I feel like some sort of tactical geniu.....CREEEEED!!!!"
Here are my one-liner ideas:
"So, where's my hot nude babe when and where you need her?"
"Man, I love potatoes. Who's up for nachos?"
"... and I thought I was slow."
"Man, I'm pretty!"
"Dammit, another fine bullet wasted to a skull rather than to help me shave my moustache."
"Did you see that guys? And I didn't even have to use cool one-liners to beat them, huh?"
"You mean I won? Huh, go figure, I was just looking for my parking space and this guys show up and tell me they're all out of bubble gum..."
"And they said Linux can't handle being an OS for launching nuclear missiles? Well, I proved them wrong!"
"Where's my expensive movie deal now?"
"James Bond's got nothing on my middle moustache's laser katana's tracking bazooka's mech adamant claws..."
"Hey, where's the bathroom? I need to take a second leak..."
"Whoever spread the damn lie about me not considering lesser grunts a good second's waste of time? They are like NPCs but without the sense of me caring for their texture's new color table mixture..."
"Man, I hate sunglasses. They always make me look like someone who's playing tetris with bad guys' bodies... oh forget it. Who wants another stroll at Minecraft? Guys? GUYS? You mean you already started playing without me? I think it's getting too sunny for my eyes again..."
"Damn it. I really popped the alien's thingy with a Chuck Norris one-liner. Who would have guessed?"
"And thou shall know the double side kick and thou shall feel its breeze, and thou shall never breathe again... YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHH!"
"Man, I'm so underrated. Who's up for popcorn now?"
"And they said I can't count to infinity twice. Well, the infinite pile of bullets below me tell me differently."
"Are you sure this isn't Miami? I swear I heard a CSI guy sneaking around... I better get rid of this city's ruins remains somehow... but how? I know, I'll disguise it as a very bad attempt at implementing the latest governmental policy on healthcare..."
"I wish the Escapist's forum lurkers were bloggin' about this..."
"Well, that saves me time for taking over the pizza store, huh?"
"Who would have guessed that owning a 500-year-old Frostmourne fake collectable figure could turn into the next presidential campaign?"
"And they said I can't mow grounds without flirting with my hydrogen missile-launching portable sandwich..."
"... Kids, that's what happens to people who postpone H-L Ep3 for too long..."
"Portal was good, but my interdimensional reality slicing dish rug device (that also happens to be perfectly suitable for cooking bacon and eggs) is better..."
"Awww... that won't look good on my resume..."
"To hell with it, I want my ticket money back, this show's a no-brainer all-you-can-win-situation..."
"Smell's like someone who's going to get laid tonight... oh, right, that's my middle bazooka..."
"Where's my testicles' 3 000 000 m high monument of eternal female gratitude now when you need it?"
"I'm bored... who's up for more posting on The Escapist's forums?"
"Wanna see me do that again, huh? Well no can do, my fine gentlemen and ladies, I've got only one third arm left..."
"Damn, that was close. I thought I would finally have a slight chance of losing... a hair of my hairstlyle..."
"Has anyone seen my other biological extinction rifle... Oh... I see what I did there... Ooops, no more sandwiches for me, huh? Oh, man... not on yet another planet... this is the 560 865th one for this week alone... I better start searching for another job, this Collector business is killing my fanbase... literally!"
"So, umm, is this the part when you bow down to your new supreme overlord and hand over all the hot babes? If not, I want a refund and some bubblegum... oh, make that a truck of bubblegum since Duke Nukem: Forever will be my guest for the party tonight... and he does some batsh*t insane combos unless there's good quality Chinese gum around... for real!"
"Defintely not my best breath this event was..." (Yoda speech-style...)
"And people used to call me masochist? Well, I proved them wrong by repainting their dog's house... it's in green, of course, I don't like Earth-type dogs, just mutated alien blood-sucking lil' ones whose heads make a nice crunchy sound when I blow them up..."
"Sounds like trouble... oh, right, that is me..."
"Then again, I really didn't like this city's architecture. I'm not kidding, it would have looked awful on my photography! Well, it is better now, so oh well..."
~sahwar
(Updated.)
"So, where's my hot nude babe when and where you need her?"
"Man, I love potatoes. Who's up for nachos?"
"... and I thought I was slow."
"Man, I'm pretty!"
"Dammit, another fine bullet wasted to a skull rather than to help me shave my moustache."
"Did you see that guys? And I didn't even have to use cool one-liners to beat them, huh?"
"You mean I won? Huh, go figure, I was just looking for my parking space and this guys show up and tell me they're all out of bubble gum..."
"And they said Linux can't handle being an OS for launching nuclear missiles? Well, I proved them wrong!
""Where's my expensive movie deal now?"
"James Bond's got nothing on my middle moustache's laser katana's tracking bazooka's mech adamant claws..."
"Hey, where's the bathroom? I need to take a second leak..."
"Whoever spread the damn lie about me not considering lesser grunts a good second's waste of time? They are like NPCs but without the sense of me caring for their texture's new color table mixture..."
"Man, I hate sunglasses. They always make me look like someone who's playing tetris with bad guys' bodies... oh forget it. Who wants another stroll at Minecraft? Guys? GUYS? You mean you already started playing without me? I think it's getting too sunny for my eyes again..."
"Damn it. I really popped the alien's thingy with a Chuck Norris one-liner. Who would have guessed?"
"And thou shall know the double side kick and thou shall feel its breeze, and thou shall never breathe again... YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHH!"
"Man, I'm so underrated. Who's up for popcorn now?"
"And they said I can't count to infinity twice. Well, the infinite pile of bullets below me tell me differently."
"Are you sure this isn't Miami? I swear I heard a CSI guy sneaking around... I better get rid of this city's ruins remains somehow... but how? I know, I'll disguise it as a very bad attempt at implementing the latest governmental policy on healthcare..."
"I wish the Escapist's forum lurkers were bloggin' about this..."
"Well, that saves me time for taking over the pizza store, huh?"
"Who would have guessed that owning a 500-year-old Frostmourne fake collectable figure could turn into the next presidential campaign?"
"And they said I can't mow grounds without flirting with my hydrogen missile-launching portable sandwich..."
"... Kids, that's what happens to people who postpone H-L Ep3 for too long..."
"Portal was good, but my interdimensional reality slicing dish rug device (that also happens to be perfectly suitable for cooking bacon and eggs) is better..."
"Awww... that won't look good on my resume..."
"To hell with it, I want my ticket money back, this show's a no-brainer all-you-can-win-situation..."
"Smell's like someone who's going to get laid tonight... oh, right, that's my middle bazooka..."
"Where's my testicles' 3 000 000 m high monument of eternal female gratitude now when you need it?"
"I'm bored... who's up for more posting on The Escapist's forums?"
"Wanna see me do that again, huh? Well no can do, my fine gentlemen and ladies, I've got only one third arm left..."
"Damn, that was close. I thought I would finally have a slight chance of losing... a hair of my hairstlyle..."
"Has anyone seen my other biological extinction rifle... Oh... I see what I did there... Ooops, no more sandwiches for me, huh? Oh, man... not on yet another planet... this is the 560 865th one for this week alone... I better start searching for another job, this Collector business is killing my fanbase... literally!"
"So, umm, is this the part when you bow down to your new supreme overlord and hand over all the hot babes? If not, I want a refund and some bubblegum... oh, make that a truck of bubblegum since Duke Nukem: Forever will be my guest for the party tonight... and he does some batsh*t insane combos unless there's good quality Chinese gum around... for real!"
"Defintely not my best breath this event was..." (Yoda speech-style...)
"And people used to call me masochist? Well, I proved them wrong by repainting their dog's house... it's in green, of course, I don't like Earth-type dogs, just mutated alien blood-sucking lil' ones whose heads make a nice crunchy sound when I blow them up..."
"Sounds like trouble... oh, right, that is me..."
"Then again, I really didn't like this city's architecture. I'm not kidding, it would have looked awful on my photography! Well, it is better now, so oh well..."
~sahwar
(Updated.)
Clearing my throat, I'd turn the the smoldering pile of ashes that was once my adversary.
"BiiiiiiIIIIIItch!"
Then I'd ride off into the sunset.
"BiiiiiiIIIIIItch!"
Then I'd ride off into the sunset.