Your Most Egotistical Fictional Prick Ever

[cojo965]

So I'm currently skimming through the slasher flick Hatchet 3 on Youtube, and what jumps out at me is that the authorities are actually fairly competent. Well they would be, if not for one guy. This egotistical dickhead:

Couldn't find a better pic of him from the movie, sue me.

I'm talking about the guy on the right for the record. Lets do the run-down: he is Captain of the local SWAT, he goes into the swamp after the first guys that went in there earlier in the movie stopped responding, with his team, when bodies start turning up he stays calm (fair enough, he's SWAT, part of his job) but writes it off even though a pair of human testicles are hanging from a nearby tree, then turns down a call for the National Guard when a witness (the only one from the first team), then threatens the guy who calls him out on his ego, and to top it all off, insists on fighting a battle against Victor (the villain) that they are clearly losing. In the end, he gets Predatorized with his spine, with attached skull, pulled out through his stomach. Unceremonious, perhaps, but deserving, given that he dragged everyone down with him. So does anyone else have examples?

 

[tilmoph]

For me, Ragnar Danneskjold from Atlas Shrugged. While a good number of protagonists are egotistical since it's a tract about a philosophy of greed and self-interest, Ragnar is the only one whose actions will specifically kill thousands of people (by raiding aid ships) just to prove a point about most poor people being worthless mooching parasites. Sure, he sells his loot. To black market distributors, at as high a price as he can squeeze out of them. I mean, he could have a point about the various People's States being corrupt, inefficient wastes that might horde everything, or ration it very stupidly based on political pull, but he doesn't even check who he's selling to. At best, he's selling to minor bureaucrats, adding another step (and more cost) between aid and recipient. At worst, he's just enriching a few elites (of a system he hates) at the expense of how many men women and children whose only crime is being born into a dying political system. And why does he do this? So he can give a few rich people their income taxes back in his friends' little isolated magitech oasis.

Yeah, I'm not his biggest fan

 

[WhiteFangofWhoa]

I find most of my choices are mainly in books. Odd, considering you have to imagine the character's voice, poise and insufferable smarm, but there you go.

The Star Wars EU has never liked politicians much, but Viqi Shesh makes most of them look tame. From the top:

-Repeatedly noted to have a 'honeyed' voice and quite pretty and vain with more than one hint she got into the position of Senator for her looks. Fully embraces a tradition of her people that involves having her child with a complete stranger, then passing all the parental duties to that stranger.
-Collaborating with a race of vicious alien invaders to conquer the Republic. Why? Power. The ideal plan was for them to kill all the other leaders and let her rule as a puppet governor.
-This leads her to fillibuster and block multiple attempts by her people to save besieged planets and win military victories, resulting in millions dead.
-Also leads to trying to have Leia assassinated on suspicion that she might have evidence of her corruption.
-Chief proponent of the 'Appeasement Bill' involving giving up all the Jedi, the one group in the Republic whom the invaders fear. Continues to wage propaganda war against the Jedi and everyone connected to them (so pretty much every good guy character) afterwards.
-When all of this gets foiled, arranges an assassination of the chief of state, and generally acts like an increasingly bigger b word in the senate.
-Multiple attempts to kidnap Luke's infant son and give him to the invaders. As a sacrifice? No, out of spite because Luke stood up to her in the senate. These attempts include giving a boy cosmetic surgery to look like Han and Leia's very recently dead teenage son so as to trick them into thinking he was alive, and herself wearing a disguise to look like someone else they know.
-Continues to scheme and plot revenge on every single main character for imagined slights until the very end.

The better known Borsk Fey'lya still had some moments of redemption or at least rationality. Even Palpatine got some fans for his sheer, unadulterated evil. But Viqi is not a Sith Lord. She is just a politician like any other you see every day whose deranged grasping for power results in the torture and death of billions including major characters, who throws a teenage girl hissy fit when things don't work out. Almost like the first movie's Princess Leia with all positive attributes removed, and the spoiled-ness cranked to the absolute maximum and she's collaborating with the Empire because they promised her candy. At least she eventually gets payback for the duration of two books before finally being allowed to die.

 

[jesse220]

Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire

Joffrey Baratheon. Textbook egotist, as soon as he has any power at all, he seems only to care that people either fear or love him. He has no concept of ruling other than how he's perceived, and at one point he wants his army to kill the entire population of the city he rules from because one person threw something at his head. It's never said outright but it's implied that he gets turned on by torturing others, so he's a psychopath to boot.

Spoiler

Reading his death scene was one of the most satisfying moments of my life.

 

[Scarim Coral]

To me that would be Alan Garner from the Hangover series particularly Part 3.

Spoiler: What happen in Part 3

Ok so he was acting like a big kid over the Giraffe incident which resulted over his dad death due to an heart attack/ stroke from the argument. In the funeral he talked about his father last word was being proud of him and to never change which was clearly a lie.
Also somewhere in the film he was showing more concern over the amount of apps he got in his phone than his friend wellbeing. To top it all off when they visit that hooker from the first film, that baby had grown who he had spend some time with and he lie saying that he is his father, what a dick!!

To sum it up without the spoiler, he was prick throughtout the film and it didn't end like Mr Toad humble speach in The Wind in the Willow (as in apologising and remorsal of his past actions that I was hoping for so he is still a prick at the end of it.

 

[Arnoxthe1]

Jedi Academy. Rosh Penin. The devs at Raven deliberately made it to where he's so annoying that

Spoiler

when you are given the chance to end his stupid life, you are actually HEAVILY tempted to. Pretty decent design if you think about it. Still, in any case, he's an annoying prick.

 

[Alduin Silas]

Frollo, from the animated Hunchback of Notre Dame. He even sings about it.
Beata Maria
You know I am a righteous man
Of my virtue I am justly proud
Beata Maria
You know I'm so much purer than
The common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd.
Given how he then behaves, I think he's the nastiest piece of filth Disney came up with.

 

[Cazza]

Jedi Academy. Rosh Penin. The devs at Raven deliberately made it to where he's so annoying that

Spoiler

when you are given the chance to end his stupid life, you are actually HEAVILY tempted to. Pretty decent design if you think about it. Still, in any case, he's an annoying prick.

I came here to say Rosh. Not because he was willing to endanger you to beat you like at the start. But because he was so spineless at the end. The dark side ending was so rewarding.

 

[knight steel]

The character Aizen from the Manga Bleach who acts as the Big Bad throughout most of the shows run:

Spoiler

I mean just look at that cocky smug smile of his-he just oozes arrogance from every pore he has,he views everyone to be below him and considers them nothing but pawns to be used and killed for his amusement and grand scheme even those who worshiped and loved him.

Whenever he fight's he toys and plays with his opponent's relishing the ability of messing up their minds causing them to suffer as much as possible all the while calmly gloating at them.

He has no morals or ethics as he believes that he is above such petty thing and his entire goal is to become god because he believes no one else is more worthy of it than himself.

 

[Amethyst Wind]

I find most of my choices are mainly in books. Odd, considering you have to imagine the character's voice, poise and insufferable smarm, but there you go.

The Star Wars EU has never liked politicians much, but Viqi Shesh makes most of them look tame. From the top:

-Repeatedly noted to have a 'honeyed' voice and quite pretty and vain with more than one hint she got into the position of Senator for her looks. Fully embraces a tradition of her people that involves having her child with a complete stranger, then passing all the parental duties to that stranger.

Kuat culture is built around looks, so it's not surprising that she was elected that way. She's at least no-less competent than any of the real world idiots who get high positions of power through looks.

Also, I'm pretty sure that the Telbun partners doesn't see the child after conception. They're only there to be the other half of the genetic code, the half that doesn't get talked about afterwards, and the rich family that employs the Telbun compensates them well for it but essentially gives them the boot when they've performed their job. They aren't considered parents and give up their rights to be associated with the child as part of the Telbun contract.

Viqi may not have raised the child herself, but most likely had a team of caregivers to do so.

 

[Trooper924]

The recent Transformers: Robots in Disguise brings us Metalhawk-an ex-Autobot who ends up respresenting all the non-aligned cybertronians in the emerging post-war government on Cybertron. He basically opposes the Autobots at every turn because they need to be shown "what their way of life has wrought" as he puts its in his first appearance. Admittedly, We do get some insight on his motivations and it's kind of understandable. Plus on quite a few occasions it was shown that the Autobots were overstepping their authority, so maybe that might disqualify him from being on this thread...except that he goes and befriends freakin' Starscream. Starscream! The guy whose major defining traits are his thirst for power and his tendency to betray everyone around him! It's like he's asking for the whole thing collapse!

Spoiler

Which it does. The short version is that Starscream kills Metalhawk in order solidify his power and then he exiles all the Autobots and Decepticons that won't give up their faction allegiances.

 

[Zen Bard]

Zack Morris from "Saved by the Bell".

Aside from being a narcissistic sociopath, everything he did was shamelessly self motivated.

And I turn to Cracked.com to give you exhibits A - G:

http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-saved-by-bell-plots-that-prove-zack-sociopath/

 

[Thedutchjelle]

The Durandal A.I. from the Marathon trilogy.

In the first game, he starts to become self-aware and quickly understands that his growth is limited by the on-board computers of the spaceship Marathon he's installed on. So he attracts an alien vessel that was cruising nearby to the Marathon, upon which point said aliens board the Marathon and wish to enslave all on board.

Sure, at the end of the day he helps the player to start a revolt amongst the slaves already captured by the alien Pfhor, and in the end helps the player to rid the Marathon of the hostile Pfhor. But he didn't do it because he was feeling nice, he only did it so he could gain access to the vastly superior computers onboard the Pfhor vessel. He isn't exactly friendly towards the player, teleporting him away to random obstacle courses for shit 'n giggles.

In the second game, he's a little nicer, and has a ton of human allies that he can command to do his bidding. But although he cares about humanity as a whole, he has no issues sending whole groups of his soldiers to die.

What makes him such a prick is that he's also a chessmaster that can see through the tactics used by his enemies and that he is highly intelligent - and he often talks rather smugly.

 

[Heronblade]

Frollo, from the animated Hunchback of Notre Dame. He even sings about it.
Beata Maria
You know I am a righteous man
Of my virtue I am justly proud
Beata Maria
You know I'm so much purer than
The common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd.
Given how he then behaves, I think he's the nastiest piece of filth Disney came up with.

Disney?

Go read the English version of the original book, you might be surprised by how much Frollo's nature as a duplicitous bastard has actually been watered down from what his creator Victor Hugo had in mind.

A word of warning though, Disney also made the overall plot and ending a hell of a lot happier.

 

[AliasBot]

Speaking of Disney, first (fictional) person that came to mind was Garcon from Beauty and the Beast. Haven't actually watched the movie in a while, so I don't have specific details come to mind off-hand to justify, but just the fact that he was the first thing that popped into my head after reading the title has to mean something, right?

(Will also second Joffrey - he was sniveling, useless, and cruel in the books, but somehow he's even worse on the show...and that's just based on the first half of the first season, which is all I've seen so far. Much credit to the actor, and I wish him luck in finding a good role that will make people refer to him as something other than "the guy that played that asshole boy king on Game of Thrones.")

 

[JaceArveduin]

Hmm... He gets betterish later on, but I'm going to go with Artemis Fowl. Of course, he truly is a genius, he's just a prick about it.

 

[Silverfox99]

My pick for most egotistical fictional prick ever would be Microsoft paperclip. If you ever had to deal with it you know that I am right.

 

[crimsonshrouds]

Wow No one has mentioned Handsome Jack. Really! Borderlands 2's entire main quest line are about taking down the universes most egotistical prick. I mean every line of dialogue from the guy makes wanting to kill him more than just to win the game.

 

[Gronk]

Thomas Covenant, omg...

Spoiler

He starts off by whining about having leprosy. You know what? Leprosy is easily cured, moron!.. Then he goes on raping some poor girl. And then he keeps whining and pitying himself for three books.

I read three of the books just hoping for some change.. but no. Just thinking about him makes me angry

 

[Psychobabble]

For me it's a toss up between both of Superman's Dads in Man of Steel.