Your Most Egotistical Fictional Prick Ever

[thebobmaster_v1legacy]

Cersei Fucking Lannister from Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire.

Spoiler: Details

Never before have I seen such an idiot think she is as cunning. The only thing she has to be manipulative is her body, and she uses it with anyone she thinks could help her. Most of her plans utterly backfire on her (sure, give the power of law back to the church. Can't see that going badly.) She's almost completely responsible for Joffrey's actions. He acted against her when executing Ned Stark, but she never stopped him. And when Tommen stands up to her, she freaks out. If not everything is going her way, she freaks out, trying to find someone to blame.

Factor in the grudges she holds (mainly against Margaery Tyrell because she has the audacity to not be Cersei's *****, and Tyrion because...well, because she's a *****, basically), and the fact that she refuses to take responsibility for her actions, instead blaming anyone and everyone she can, and you have a woman where my reaction to her being marched through the streets of her city nude, being insulted by everyone, was "Well, that's a good start."

Seriously, I have yet to see any character as unlikeable AND egotistical as her without it being warranted by her actions. Tywin was a bastard, but he was a skilled manipulator, whose ego was totally warranted. Joffrey is worse, arguably, but he isn't as egotisical as dear old Mom. She has all the worst qualities of her family without any redeeming factors.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

Thomas Covenant, omg...

Covenant isn't egotistical. He despises himself. Indeed, his relentless self loathing and total lack of self confidence is a major plot point in both trilogies.

He's egocentric.

Cersei Fucking Lannister from Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire.

Pre Feast for Crows I'm not sure I'd agree, but it's hard not to after Feast for Crows. AFFC Cersei is the stuff of high comedy. "Tywin Lannister with teats" indeed. She just bumbles from one calamity to the next.

 

[Murrdox]

KEFKA

Holy crap Kefka MUST be the most egotistical prick that ever was.

He destroys the very world that he wants to rule over for NO REASON other than he wants to be EVEN MORE POWERFUL.

Basically he would rather be a God that rules over a ruin than a King that rules a flourishing kingdom.

 

[KillMeOnceMore]

Nathan Drake, especially in Uncharted 3.

A man who constantly puts his friends in a ludicrous amount of danger and doesn't think twice about slaughtering a small country's population worth of people just to get his family heirloom, all while sporting a shit eating grin and not very funny quips that I think are supposed to be funny.

He's ridiculously egotistical because he seems to believe that everyone should like him no matter what he does and anyone who tries to stop him doing what he wants should just fucking die, which he obligingly helps them with.

 

[Arqus_Zed]

KEFKA

Holy crap Kefka MUST be the most egotistical prick that ever was.

He destroys the very world that he wants to rule over for NO REASON other than he wants to be EVEN MORE POWERFUL.

Basically he would rather be a God that rules over a ruin than a King that rules a flourishing kingdom.

In my opinion, Kefka was more nonsensically insane than egotistical.

If I would answer the question with an FF-villain, I'd go for Kuja.

He finds out he's going to die, so, he's gonna end it all. If he can't live, well, then it wouldn't be fair for anyone else to still be alive, right? Not only does he succeed in actually obliterating an entire world (and I do mean "obliterate", not just turn "a world of balance" into "a world of ruin"), he nearly manages to wipe out existence - past, present & future of all that is.

 

[Heronblade]

Thomas Covenant, omg...

Spoiler

He starts off by whining about having leprosy. You know what? Leprosy is easily cured, moron!.. Then he goes on raping some poor girl. And then he keeps whining and pitying himself for three books.

I read three of the books just hoping for some change.. but no. Just thinking about him makes me angry

Are you aware that effective treatment for leprosy did not appear until the 1980s? Those books were written a decade beforehand.

In any event, I always considered his attitude to be a reflection of the events going on around him. He's got damn good reason to be depressed.

 

[Zakarath]

The Durandal A.I. from the Marathon trilogy.

In the first game, he starts to become self-aware and quickly understands that his growth is limited by the on-board computers of the spaceship Marathon he's installed on. So he attracts an alien vessel that was cruising nearby to the Marathon, upon which point said aliens board the Marathon and wish to enslave all on board.

Sure, at the end of the day he helps the player to start a revolt amongst the slaves already captured by the alien Pfhor, and in the end helps the player to rid the Marathon of the hostile Pfhor. But he didn't do it because he was feeling nice, he only did it so he could gain access to the vastly superior computers onboard the Pfhor vessel. He isn't exactly friendly towards the player, teleporting him away to random obstacle courses for shit 'n giggles.

In the second game, he's a little nicer, and has a ton of human allies that he can command to do his bidding. But although he cares about humanity as a whole, he has no issues sending whole groups of his soldiers to die.

What makes him such a prick is that he's also a chessmaster that can see through the tactics used by his enemies and that he is highly intelligent - and he often talks rather smugly.

Doesn't sound half as bad SHODAN. (System Shock 1+2) Always going on about how better she/it is than everything else.

 

[Keiichi Morisato]

um... House M.D. is who i would have to pick, granted that is part of his charm...

 

[Soviet Heavy]

Borsk Fey'lya has already been mentioned, but man was that Bothan a dick. Even his so called "redemption" came at the cost of millions while he practically handed Coruscant to the Vong. Sure, setting off a proton bomb under his desk and wiping out over ten thousand vong warriors and vaporizing a city block is an accomplishment, but it shouldn't have happened. Had the Republic responded properly to the Vong threat, rather than discrediting the military officers who were actually taking action, things might have turned out differently. But instead, trillions died while Fey'lya's government botched things from the start, and then followed up by putting an ineffectual military command in charge of the defense.

365 trillion people died in the Yuuzhan Vong War thanks to arrogant beauracrats.

 

[KazeAizen]

Damn someone already beat me to Aizen. I got another though. Madara Uchiha. Spoilers for those who haven't read it in a couple of months.

-Went around to the other villages after the first alliance had formed and said that the others obey the Leaf. In particular the stone village.
-Was confident enough to teach someone everything he knew and severed his life support so that he could be brought back to life almost 16 years later to fulfill a plan he put together in his first life.
-Considers nothing less then the 5 kages child's play.
-Gets hit by a major attack on purpose to reveal something to demoralize the kage.
-Won't fight a clone of his rival, the most powerful ninja of his time, and sits on his laurels even after being challenged directly.
-Believes he is still in total control even after all hell breaks loose, his former subordinate betrays him and becomes the ten tails jinchuriki, begins the eye of the moon plan with his own vision in mind, and essentially the world coming to an end .

 

[Juste Goose]

I'm surprised no one has ninja'd me yet. Oh well...

Spoiler

Such an unpleasant lady. It only got worse as the series went on...

 

[Buffoon1980]

For me, Ragnar Danneskjold from Atlas Shrugged.

Ha! My first thought on seeing this thread was, 'I wonder if anyone will bring up Ayn Rand?'. And bang, second post. Cool It's an interesting book, isn't it? There's a lot I like about Ayn Rand, but there's a lot that's troubling, too. I think she was getting pretty bitter by the time she came to write Atlas Shrugged. For me The Fountainhead is a far superior book.

On topic... hmm, maybe Jerry Seinfeld? The character, that is, not the real person. He's not so much egotistical as he is self-absorbed, I guess.

 

[Relish in Chaos]

Ozymandias from Watchmen.

Look at that smug little shit's smirk.

Spoiler

A narcissistic, megalomaniacal, Egyptian-fetishizing businessman who elects himself to stop the third World War by?tricking the US and the USSR into a temporary truce by faking an alien invasion that kills three million people in New York. Can you believe this is the best plan the smartest man in the world could come up with, and he believed that this could create an eternal utopia?

And then he pretends to feel remorse by saying that he can feel the deaths of half of New York, while minutes ago, he was belittling Rorschach and Nite Owl after having given at least three people cancer, and killing his Vietnamese refugee servants and the people who helped him make the "alien". He was basically playing the part of the world's competent Bond villain -- and yes, he is the villain; he has no justification for his actions, morally or pragmatically. It won't last, and now that there's no Dr. Manhattan on Earth, he could've doomed the Earth to even greater destruction.

Oh, and part of his plan involved moving World War III forward by a decade (by exiling Dr. Manhattan to Mars) and sacrificing his pet lynx in an attempt to kill Dr. Manhattan in the same experiment that birthed him. What a short-sighted wanker.

 

[SuperUberBob]

Dennis Reynolds from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia

 

[Crispee]

These kinds of characters are always my favorite kinds of character, which is weird because I hate them in real life.

But two of my favorites are Tony Stark and Sherlock Holmes, played by Robert Downey Junior and Benedict Cumberbatch respectively.

 

[Estranged180]

I hereby present you with one of the MOST egotistical sumbitches in the entire universe.

Spoiler

General Seranno

If you listen to all the ramblings that come out of his facehole (yes, I said facehole) you'll see why everyone was complaining about the game being too 'graphic'. But besides that, he's absolutely hilarious, while being completely evil. Almost perfect villain.

Yes, I'll probably catch a warning over this post, but I gotta tell ya, if I do, it will have been worth it.

 

[KoudelkaMorgan]

Top 3
King Haggard - The Last Unicorn: He had the Red Bull round up all the unicorns and drive them into the sea, out of spite, pure avarice, and a sadistic cruelty. So that he might look out upon the sea and watch them as they toss about on the waves, so that he might own the last bit of magic and wild beauty left in the world. To control them, to dominate them, to deny their freedom for his passing fancy as he dwells in his crumbling castle with the rest of his pathetic trophies.


Gerald Terrant - Coldfire: Read the prologue of Black Sun Rising. It only gets more damning.

Renato Biagio - Tyrants and Kings: His revenge is EPIC

Honorable Mention
Emperor Palpatine - Star Wars
Prince Humperdink - The Princess Bride
Jareth - Labyrinth
Andross, Gavin and Dezan Guile - Lightbringer
Kamala - Magister
Bender - Futurama
Tony Stark
Q - Star Trek
Prince - Lexx
Crowly - Supernatural
Lionel Luthor - Smallville
Emanuel Zorg - The 5th Element
Light Yagami - Death Note
Albert Wily - Mega Man
Galbatorix - Eragon
Denis and Deeandra Reynolds
Garfield

 

[TallanKhan]

There are 100 better known characters I can think of who fit the description, but one that really got under my skin was Calo Nord, the bounty hunter from KOTOR. I can't put my finger on exactly why but man did I want to murder that guy.