Your pet and a stranger are drowning in your shower. Who do you save?

[Euryalus]

Utilitarian answer?

Whichever choice has the potential to cause the greatest good (pleasure) to the greatest number of people.

So odds are based on intensity and duration the stranger has a higher probability of having more people care about them and doing more good.

He could be a dick, sure, but that would be making a dangerous (and let's be honest probably selfish) assumption.

Sentimentalist answer?

...Eh... Morality is a subjective experience based around something called a moral sense faculty... A psychological part of our constitution that deems things moral or immoral, and is based on experience and a rough "harm norm".

...So go with your gut >.>

Kantian answer

Act in a way according to your duty. The categorical imperatives.

Which basically means act only in a way that you would require everyone to act always in the situation.

Save the pet? Always save a pet. Save the stranger? Always save a stranger.

My answer

...Turn the shower off. Don't waste time thinking about things in a strictly theoretical space. It's not immensely helpful for finding anything out about ethics.

And really this one would be the same for all of these philosophy's answers :/

 

[Euryalus]

This premise is really dumb, so I'm going to change it up. There's a lake in my backward and my pet and a stranger are both drowning, and I only have time to save one of them. If I had a choice, I would choose the stranger. That person could be a father, mother, brother, sister, daughter, nephew, etc. to a bunch of people, while one of my cats is only a cat, and doesn't play a big role in anyone's like besides my family. Plus, we've lost pets before. That person is much more important than any pet, any day.

Change it up even further! Throw in a whirlpool! And have it so no one else is around to help you!

 

[Teoes]

It depends which of them is peeing.

If both are peeing, then in the words of Captain Hero: save yourselves!


[sub]Edit: Meh, somewhat ninja'd by @Caiphus, but I'm not changing it now.[/sub]

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

The stranger. Why? Because my pet is a turtle. What the worse that could happen? My turtle drowns? It's a fucking turtle, how could it drown? <_<

It could drown if it were turned over on it's back, in which case you'd find yourself stuck with the crippling moral dilemma of whether you should turn it over, take it with you, kill it, teach it martial arts (so no one will ever turn it over onto it's back ever again), or leave it as it is.

 

[kailus13]

I'd break my shower door. It's only made of cheap plastic so it'd break pretty easily.

Smart-ass cop-out answers like these are why these questions usually have them drowning in a lake.

What kind of villain glues shower doors shut anyway? Wouldn't he use a glue bomb or something for his nefarious stranger-pet imperiling?

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

The stranger. Why? Because my pet is a turtle. What the worse that could happen? My turtle drowns? It's a fucking turtle, how could it drown? <_<

It could drown if it were turned over on it's back, in which case you'd find yourself stuck with the crippling moral dilemma of whether you should turn it over, take it with you, kill it, teach it martial arts (so no one will ever turn it over onto it's back ever again), or leave it as it is.

Can't I just strap a jet-pack on its back and call it a day? >_>

That isn't one of the options, you also don't have the option of turning the wallet you found into the authorities.

 

[Barbas]

I'd probably just leave and let the house overflow, to be honest. I'd turn on the sink taps before doing so, though, because I've always wanted to see how long it takes for that to flood the entire house. Maybe put tape over all the windows, so it turns into a giant aquarium...

 

[Fijiman]

Well I would have to say niether because if they're somehow managing to drown in my shower then I don't want to deal with their stupid arses. And just for clarification, I have one tubs the doubles as a shower so it's pretty hard to actually drown in it.

 

[soren7550]

The return of drowning threads! YESSSS!

This situation is oddly confusing though. I mean, I don't have a shower stall, I have a tub. So this nefarious dude has glued the curtain down? That's just gonna leak and not retain much water, if any. And even if it could, there's space between the curtain bar and the ceiling, so water would spill over that, so they'd still have air. Also, my cat has shredded many a shower curtain, so he'd be able to panic his way out.

And I'd go for my cat (even if it means my arms will be shredded), because I'm going to be freaking out over a stranger being in my home.

 

[Rose and Thorn]

So okay, realistically I would break the shower open, but I'll play along.

It is a tough choice, if I was in a panic I'd try to save them both. If I knew deep down that only one could be saved, I'd probably save my cat. A few reasons for this. The stranger could be anyone, like a serial rapist, I KNOW my cat isn't a serial rapist. Also, my cat is like my only friend, I consider her a loved one. What right does a human have to say their life is more important than a cats? I've known my cats all my life. I don't think it immature to expect someone to choose a stranger over their dear animals.

Like I said, this isn't really possible, as I would save both of them, even if I pulled one out, I would then go to pull the second one out.

 

[Esotera]

It's been way too long since we've had a drowning thread. And I'd probably grab the shower head & direct it into the sink or something, but given that some random stranger is taking a shower with my pet, I'd assume they are a bestiality freak and save the pet.

 

[Bellvedere]

Stranger? Easy decision - I'd rescue my dog. The way I see it, I chose to get a pet, I accepted responsibility for the pet. I entered into no such contract another human, so I would feel obligated to save my big stupid dog first. Also there's no way I could take looking at his big stupid face expecting me to help. I think that there are only a handful of people in this world that I would consider saving over my dog..

 

[Hemlet]

So apparently my pet turtle just grew to be bigger than I am, and there's a stranger in my shower who is trying to, for some reason, drown a monstrously huge turtle. At it's regular size my turtle can:

-swim
-hold it's breath for 15-20 minutes at a time
-bite down hard enough to take off the end of my fingers

You know what? Fuck the stranger. I don't care why they're in my house or why they decided trying to drown a turtle was a good plan. I did not invite them in here, meaning they clearly broke in, and they brought this situation on themselves. I'd laugh at them and come back in 20 minutes when my now freakin' HUGE turtle is finished ripping him/her into chunky salsa.

EDIT: And then Hemlet read the OP again and cursed his insomnia-induced lack of reading comprehension. My answer still stands though. Someone broke into my goddamn house and trapped themselves in my shower with my turtle. I'll come back in 20 minutes and then scoop out my turtle because anyone dumb enough to make that happen deserves the Darwin award they'll get.

 

[Lil_Rimmy]

Don't tell me the fucking drowning threads are making a comeback.

Pray, for the dark times return. The nefarious shower villain and his brother, the nefarious throwing random things into water villain have returned...
Drowing Threads 2: Electric Boogaloo!

Director's Note: It is not a good idea to Electric Booagloo in water due to conduction of electricity. Thank you for your cooperation.