Your thought on... Pansexuality

[Parasondox]

Unity NOT Division

Hi, I'm Para and I'm here to discuss something that rarely is spoken but on my mind for awhile.

Pansexuality
One who can love sexuality in many forms. Like bisexuality, but even more fluid, a pansexual person can love not only the traditional male and female genders, but also transgendered, androgynous, and gender fluid people.

A simple definition of the term, right? Someone who likes/love, basically attracted to, someone regardless of gender identity. Openmindedness. How come this hasn't been spoken much about or highlighted before? Is there a major stigma behind it? Could that explain why not many talk about it? Is it difficult to identify in ones self that they may be pansexual? Do you maybe dislike the term? Do you think it could be a "phase", anything? Just your thoughts in general really. Just want to know what the Escapist users think.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Other people's sexuality is not my business, and is not something I should have a say in.

Having said that, the distinction between it and bisexuality is a bit blurry, excepting perhaps to certain pansexuals.

 

[pookie101]

from a friend who is pansexual, she described it like falling in love with a person without really taking their gender into consideration at all

i dont think its a phase. you love who you love simple as that.

plus its hot haha

 

[Zhukov]

*shrug*

If that's what does it for ya then go nuts. All the more fish in the sea I suppose.

So long as it's between consenting adults then it's none of my business.

 

[Phasmal]

Well, most people think it's the same as being bisexual, so that's mostly why you don't hear much about it.

People can identify however they want.
It's so weird to ask about "phases". I do wonder why we talk about people's sexuality like that (well, some people's. Personally I've never been asked if me liking guys was a phase).
I mean, can you imagine if we talked about most things like that?

 

[tippy2k2]

Already been said a few times but I'll say it again because I like to hear myself talk.

What other people want to do sexually (you know, as long as it's two consenting adults and not like..."I have to drown a kitten to get a boner" kind of thing) is none of my business.

As for a stigma on it, my guess it's just the same stigma that some people have about gay rights. If you're fine with gay rights, then I don't see why you would be against pansexuality and if you're against gay rights, I imagine you'd be against pansexuality. As being gay becomes less stigmatized, I would think that pansexualness would become less stigmatized at a pretty close rate.

 

[Neurotic Void Melody]

Sounds like a pretty handy sexuality to have with so many options available. As long as they're comfortable with it, I see no problem. It's if there's any self-loathing that can be projected onto others of similar orientation that I believe would be more harm than good. But that goes for all types of people anyway who would do well to seek some form of help if they're deflecting their issues onto others instead of confronting them, no names mentioned.

 

[Zontar]

Like demisexual it's a literal joke that some people took seriously, and thus it went from joke to an actual thing.

Though unlike most of the trendy sexualitis that you see around, pansexuality does actually have an argument to be made that it actually exists, which is pretty noteworthy given how virtually all the trendy sexualities tend to be described as: "I'm slightly different from the cartoonish image I have in my head about what conventional sexuality is, so I must be something else".

It's so weird to ask about "phases". I do wonder why we talk about people's sexuality like that

Probably due to observation, namely that people do go through "phases". It's the reason why nearly all those with gender dysphoria will loose it without any medical treatment or therapy, and why most people who think they're trans in their teens turn out to be gay and just where unsure what they where going through meant (incidentally, this is also why medical institutions which previously did hormone therapy and/or sex changes on minors have almost all stopped doing so).

 

[Phasmal]

Zontar, I think you missed my point.
My point wasn't "Phases in sexuality don't exist at all, the end".
It was more "who gives a fuck if they do? People go through phases of lots of things in life but we don't make a big deal out of it the way we do with sexuality".

Some people might go through changes of sexuality, others don't. The whole "phase" thing seems awfully dismissive to me.

EDIT: Also, while I've heard of people de-transitioning, I don't know enough about that to address that so I just kind of didn't.

 

[Zontar]

The whole "phase" thing seems awfully dismissive to me.

It is, but it isn't unwarranted given it's statistically true. While for many it is the case that they are what they think in that moment they are, for most it is just a phase so the actions that typically cause the response tend to be dismissed because of the simple reason that it's more likely to be just that then to be genuine.

 

[Phasmal]

=/

Nah. I don't think we're in agreement here.
Even if it were "statisticly true" most of the time (I'm doubtful) that someone's sexuality would change, surely the correct response would be to stop expecting people to be one thing forever and never have doubts or changes, not dismissing them because they'll "change their mind".

I mean, if someone came up to me and said that because I grew my hair and last time they had seen me I had short hair suddenly meant I didn't really have short hair at all.

But hey, you do you.

 

[Zontar]

Even if it were "statisticly true" most of the time (I'm doubtful) that someone's sexuality would change

It's not that sexuality changes, it's the fact people in their teens are likely to take time to understand what their sexuality is. You see this issue in teens because that's when we become sexual and have to learn what it all means. You don't see this in children (outside of those with a specific type of child abusing parent) because children aren't sexual, and you see it far less with adults in their mid 20s because by then we've figured it out.

It's all about coming to figure out what sexuality is. Though this certainly isn't helped by the fact things like Tumblr have created a myth that anything even slightly divergent from the cartoonish caricature of what being masculine or feminine is makes you something else having led to the creation of countless fake sexualities that objectively do not exist.

 

[Saelune]

In my experience, pansexuals seem to just be bisexuals that are more thoughtful to other people's identities. Its not that I think they "dont exist", or rather, if anything it means I think bisexuals are just stuck in a more binary thinking, even if they like both.

Either way, I am grateful for bi/pansexual people, since they are who I date. I find I am too between genders to be with explicitly gay or straight men.

 

[Wrex Brogan]

*shrug* it's always felt a little unnecessary to me (largely due to the transgender part of it - given they're men and women anyway, seems weird to split them off into a different sexuality all-together from hetero/homo/bi), but if it works for people it works for people. The stigma surrounding it comes from the general public not having a clue what it is (given Bisexuals tend to be treated like mythical unicorns, no surprise Bi+ gets the same treatment) or internet dipshits having a ***** about it being a 'special snowflake sexuality' or something, as channers are want to do.

As for it being a phase... ehhhh, honestly, like all sexualities, this shit tends to be entirely dependent on the person. I know with my boyfriend he went 'Straight - Gay - bi - pan - 'Fuck it this is too complicated I just like everyone', but I've also known other people who thought they might have been Pan, then realized they weren't later on down the track and fit more into the hetero/homo/bi pyramid (or, on one occasion, asexual - turns out there's a subtle difference between being pansexual and being panromantic). It's kinda hard to really put a pin on sexuality sometimes.

 

[KissingSunlight]

Honestly, pansexual is someone taking the old joke of someone being try-sexual seriously. Try-sexual is a pun on the word "bisexual". It just means that someone is willing to engage in all kinds of fetishes and sexual experiments. I think Quagmire from Family Guy would be a good example of a try-sexual.

Pansexual is a nudge towards the "special snowflake" area of self-labeling. I think it's harmless just as long that people don't insist that we should all universally recognize "pansexual" as something legitimate.

 

[Silentpony_v1legacy]

As long as everyone uses a non-stick surface and cleans thoroughly before and after, it should all be good. No one likes crusty little things stuck to the bottom that just smell like last night's dinner.

Spoiler: Not Safe for Cups

 

[Saelune]

Honestly, pansexual is someone taking the old joke of someone being try-sexual seriously. Try-sexual is a pun on the word "bisexual". It just means that someone is willing to engage in all kinds of fetishes and sexual experiments. I think Quagmire from Family Guy would be a good example of a try-sexual.

Pansexual is a nudge towards the "special snowflake" area of self-labeling. I think it's harmless just as long that people don't insist that we should all universally recognize "pansexual" as something legitimate.

I think we need to de-legitimize alot of silly notions of gender roles instead of not wanting people who are by definition more open to different people to be given credibility.

 

[PainInTheAssInternet]

Makes sense. Bisexual means that one is attracted to two genders (typically male or female) while pansexual removes that distinction in favour of a much more general attraction. Across 7 billion of us, I doubt it doesn't exist.

 

[KissingSunlight]

I know I am going to regret asking this. What other genders are there beyond male and female? From my experience, what I see is people just making stuff up just to make themselves feel special and unique. For the sake of civility, I'll refrain from saying the term that people uses to describe such people.

 

[Thaluikhain]

I know I am going to regret asking this. What other genders are there beyond male and female?

To look at this another way, define male and female, and what the difference between them are. Not merely in terms of anatomy, but what that means as a person.

Either you'll come up with two definitions vague enough to be more or less meaningless, or more rigid ones that not everyone fits into.