Your true story that nobody believes.

[Lono Shrugged]

Not mine but my friend who lives stateside.

Dude was working repairing an elevator in a building in New York. In walks: (sing choir of angels) Bill Murray. Said gent being a massive fan flounders and wants to say something and still be cool as Murray walks to the second lift. As he stares Murray grabs him by the shoulders and says "nobody will believe you!" before hopping on the lift.

I believe it because it's classic Murray and when I read somewhere he did it to someone else it proved it.

More important I WANT to believe it

 

[James Joseph Emerald]

Seriously: My great-granddad took six bullets in the back during the Irish War of Independence, while investigating a downed British airplane, and survived. First his bicycle was shot and he fell off into the mud, and then a British officer (who had beat him to the crash site) walked up and emptied his gun into my great-granddad at point-blank range. Left for dead, my granddad then crawls for several miles -- over roads, walls and fences, leaving a trail of blood -- until he reaches a nearby farmhouse. The farmer, a fellow Fenian, then gathers together a posse and kidnaps a British doctor from the local town, who, using only pig's blood, manages to nurse my great-granddad back to full health.

Also, all of his fingers on his right hand were the same length because they were blown off by a sniper. Also, he invented a new type of improvised bomb that explodes when you straighten a picture frame (because they figured only the high-ranking, sophisticated Brits would care if a painting was crooked). Another time, he hid in a maternity ward from some Black & Tans and the nurses refused to let any of them inside so they eventually left.

The guy eventually died. In 1961. In his late sixties.

And all of this stuff is documented by war records and photographs (we've got one showing the six dents in his back).
How epic is that?

 

[Not-here-anymore]

At least 6 times I've survived events that should probably have killed me. The most notable being falling off a cliff whilst skiing, electrocution, and laughing so hard I was physically incapable of breathing for more than 2 minutes (stupid asthma). People tend to assume I'm making shit up by the third story...

OP: I am related to Alexander Armstrong from Armstrong and Miller. Nobody ever believes me when I say that...

Friend of mine's going to see them tonight. I'm a little jealous...

 

[Panken]

Seriously: My great-granddad took six bullets in the back during the Irish War of Independence, while investigating a downed British airplane, and survived. First his bicycle was shot and he fell off into the mud, and then a British officer (who had beat him to the crash site) walked up and emptied his gun into my great-granddad at point-blank range. Left for dead, my granddad then crawls for several miles -- over roads, walls and fences, leaving a trail of blood -- until he reaches a nearby farmhouse. The farmer, a fellow Fenian, then gathers together a posse and kidnaps a British doctor from the local town, who, using only pig's blood, manages to nurse my great-granddad back to full health.

Also, all of his fingers on his right hand were the same length because they were blown off by a sniper. Also, he invented a new type of improvised bomb that explodes when you straighten a picture frame (because they figured only the high-ranking, sophisticated Brits would care if a painting was crooked). Another time, he hid in a maternity ward from some Black & Tans and the nurses refused to let any of them inside so they eventually left.

The guy eventually died. In 1961. In his late sixties.

And all of this stuff is documented by war records and photographs (we've got one showing the six dents in his back).
How epic is that?

He only wants you to think he is dead. He is secretly Chuck Norris.

 

[Shemming]

I was once handcuffed to a bed by a pair of lesbians.

True, but not in what the way people normally think it happened.

 

[Iandiaeufaieubfeuihfi]

Seriously: My great-granddad took six bullets in the back during the Irish War of Independence, while investigating a downed British airplane, and survived. First his bicycle was shot and he fell off into the mud, and then a British officer (who had beat him to the crash site) walked up and emptied his gun into my great-granddad at point-blank range. Left for dead, my granddad then crawls for several miles -- over roads, walls and fences, leaving a trail of blood -- until he reaches a nearby farmhouse. The farmer, a fellow Fenian, then gathers together a posse and kidnaps a British doctor from the local town, who, using only pig's blood, manages to nurse my great-granddad back to full health.

Also, all of his fingers on his right hand were the same length because they were blown off by a sniper. Also, he invented a new type of improvised bomb that explodes when you straighten a picture frame (because they figured only the high-ranking, sophisticated Brits would care if a painting was crooked). Another time, he hid in a maternity ward from some Black & Tans and the nurses refused to let any of them inside so they eventually left.

The guy eventually died. In 1961. In his late sixties.

And all of this stuff is documented by war records and photographs (we've got one showing the six dents in his back).
How epic is that?

ME wants to see dents.

 

[jamradar]

One time I raised a army of mutated Narwhals and took over the planet Klorixcalenoz. As the first step in building my might empire of Debatra.

I dont understand why nobody believes me when I say that.

 

[Vitehite]

I activated the debug mode in Sonic 2 by random chance before I knew it existed.
I was playing random songs in the sound test, my brother took the controller from me and started playing and we noticed that everything looked weird and he could turn Sonic into random stuff and fly around.
We thought the game must be broken, until we reset it and everything was back to normal.

It mystifies me how I did this since it requires playing songs in an exact order, including playing the same song twice in a row.

 

[MassiveGeek]

Eh........ eh........

I don't really have a story. Maybe the fact that my mom, whom used to be a make up artist, met and put make up on(lol, don't know a better expression for it) Alice Cooper, but people actually do believe it, so. .-.

 

[Daffy F]

At least 6 times I've survived events that should probably have killed me. The most notable being falling off a cliff whilst skiing, electrocution, and laughing so hard I was physically incapable of breathing for more than 2 minutes (stupid asthma). People tend to assume I'm making shit up by the third story...

OP: I am related to Alexander Armstrong from Armstrong and Miller. Nobody ever believes me when I say that...

Friend of mine's going to see them tonight. I'm a little jealous...

Somewhat Ironically, I prefer Mitchel and Webb to Armstrong and Miller, still. It's a good show, and he's a nice guy. He's the only person I know who shortens their name to Xander.

 

[pyrosaw]

I'm an ex-drug dealer. Courier really. I got caught one day, but they found barely on me, and I tested sober, so I was left with a warning.

Edit: Oh, and probation. Sorry.

 

[Miffmoff]

I was 2 metres away from Michael Schumacher in Moderna on holiday once

 

[Tipsy Giant]

I met the Queen

 

[ayylamao]

fell and rolled backwards down the stairs, and hit my head against the door.

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

I fell off my roof when I was 4 trying to catch a balloon, and I broke my left ankle.

 

[Lt_Bromhead]

I was once handcuffed to a bed by a pair of lesbians.

True, but not in what the way people normally think it happened.

I was once handcuffed to a bed by a single lesbian... And what you would expect to happen happened.
She is now bisexual.

True, but nobody believes me. Ever.