your useless superpowers

[lechat]

obligatory

Just wondering if anyone has any useless special abilities, A recent one I noticed was I have the ability to know what I weigh within 300 grams provided I have weighed myself in the last week. considering my weight can fluctuate by up to 6 kilos a week it's pretty impressive.... but not very useful.

 

[Addendum_Forthcoming]

I can quickly work out the different times in different places of the world in my head. Pretty useless.

 

[Bobular]

I am always statically charged. Always.

I go to press the button on any of the lifts at work, I get a shock. I go near any of the metal walls where the plaster has come off, I get a shock. I reach for the metal hand rails on stairs, I get a shock.

My friends always say I should become a superhero or something, but I always think I have more selfish (and fun) goals in mind for my superpowers.

 

[Thaluikhain]

I am always statically charged. Always.

I go to press the button on any of the lifts at work, I get a shock. I go near any of the metal walls where the plaster has come off, I get a shock. I reach for the metal hand rails on stairs, I get a shock.

My friends always say I should become a superhero or something, but I always think I have more selfish (and fun) goals in mind for my superpowers.

Heh, same...though I suspect it might be my shoes.

I would swap for the Op's power, which does sound impressive, if not often useful.

 

[Saelune]

My body is particularly warm. I like to think its all the love and positivity I hoard inside myself cause I have no one to give it to.

Or maybe I just take too many hot showers.

Unfortunately it means everyone else feel very cold. Its also probably why I prefer winter than summer.

 

[Zhukov]

I have really good hearing. When I took one of those beep tests with the headphones the nurse said she'd never seen a result as good as mine. She even ran it again to make sure. (That was nearly ten years ago though. Its presumably dulled somewhat with age.)

 

[Neurotic Void Melody]

Non-powers, ehm. Spoilery to avoid accidental judgements.

Spoiler: Not interesting 1

I can apparently metabolise a weirdly large variety of external toxins with little cognitive and physical impairment compared to all other peers. It's pointlessly situational and only comes in useful for being the level headed one at parties if things get out of control and another type of situation not worth mentioning. It has proved costly, financially and otherwise though

Spoiler: Not interesting 2

Am very warm all the time, am attracted to cold, so comes in handy when most people I know want to borrow some body heat and I want to utilise their cold

Spoiler: Not interesting 3

Can never accept myself, never stop self-criticising. Which may sound like a noble thing but it really isn't, every little thing I do or say is hated straight afterwards, nothing ever felt "ok." Perhaps it is a necessary evil for achieving certain ambitions, but it is really very tiring and difficult to maintain any type of relationship with humans for longer than brief moments, am almost certain it must be some form of mild retardation at this point

Spoiler: Not interesting 4

Must end on positive, can seemingly take in and play music from ear without much effort, unless its some complicated jazz solo. One time was really weird as I dreamt myself playing a song I hadn't taught myself yet, but remembered the chords upon waking and tested them out for the song and it completely checked out. That was the weirdest experience. Only happened like twice and the second time was not quite as clear though. Also it wasn't really complicated, but still.

 

[Saelune]

Am very warm all the time, am attracted to cold, so comes in handy when most people I know want to borrow some body heat and I want to utilise their cold

Must end on positive, can seemingly take in and play music from ear without much effort, unless its some complicated jazz solo. One time was really weird as I dreamt myself playing a song I hadn't taught myself yet, but remembered the chords upon waking and tested them out for the song and it completely checked out. That was the weirdest experience. Only happened like twice and the second time was not quite as clear though. Also it wasn't really complicated, but still.

I guess thats how a bear such as you learned to play the guitar so fast.

And if we hugged, would we create fire? Or just melt the area around us? (Also said power is being super freaking warm)

 

[Casual Shinji]

I have the ability to flap my thumb and pinky in such an elegant manner that it makes my right hand look like a bird in flight.

 

[Neurotic Void Melody]

And if we hugged, would we create fire? Or just melt the area around us? (Also said power is being super freaking warm)

Possibly may that be like a Bill n Ted's bogus adventure when two stations merge into one to create ? Or when power rangers combine? Or maybe more like a nuclear reaction to form an undiscovered element alongside a clean, renewable energy source? Am game for all outcomes

 

[Silentpony_v1legacy]

I have the power to predict the future, mostly by be so insanely pessimistic and having .001% faith in people. So when Trump wins, or Gears of War 4 launches with tons of bugs and isn't very good, or the Harley Quinn movie tanks, just know I called it over a year before.

Can't change the future, but I can predict it.

 

[Vendor-Lazarus]

Constantly statically charged. I've come to fear elevator buttons.

Super-hearing. I can't ever eat at a restaurant that employs sonic bird-repellers.

Super-flexible. Not looking forward to old age.

Can vibrate my eyeballs and my Tensor Tympanis muscle on command. Makes me a bit dizzy and sensitive after a while.

I can crack every possible joint in my body. Force of habit makes me no longer notice doing it, which can severely annoy people.

I can scrunch up only one side of my face. Great for doing Two-face impressions.

Thanks to enlarged nasal polyps I have almost no sense of smell. No sense of smell.

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

My tongue has an elaborate pattern due to a harmless cosmetic genetic condition.

It's a useful way to start conversations when you are really, really drunk.

 

[Saltyk]

I have hitchhikers thumbs. I can literally bend them back to right angles.

 

[Ayame Murasaki]

I am almost constantly hypoglycemic, even after I've eaten something like half a medium-sized pizza. The thing is, my body doesn't seem to be affected by it--I've been walking around, conscious and speaking (if not particularly coherent) at 20. For reference, at 10, you're dead. It's weird.

 

[twistedmic]

I can write in mirror script fairly easily, and I can read upside down and backwards.

 

[McElroy]

I experience deja vu so often it's uncanny. Conversations, playing games, even on this forum... Everything seems to form into a pattern.

 

[Chessrook44]

I can sense when a screen is nearby. Less useful with LCD and the standard computer or flatscreen TVs, but the older ones?
I walk by a room, I get a sense, and I can just go "....there's a screen on nearby. I can SENSE it."
Occasionally I can walk by the TV, get a sense, and even though the screen is completely black, I know it's on.
Useless, but I have SCREEN SENSE.

Also, I eat like crap (Like, fast food almost every day) and yet am about 5'9" and 140 pounds as a guy. Nice for me, not nice for the guy who just weighed himself.

 

[Vendor-Lazarus]

I can sense when a screen is nearby. Less useful with LCD and the standard computer or flatscreen TVs, but the older ones?
I walk by a room, I get a sense, and I can just go "....there's a screen on nearby. I can SENSE it."
Occasionally I can walk by the TV, get a sense, and even though the screen is completely black, I know it's on.
Useless, but I have SCREEN SENSE.

Also, I eat like crap (Like, fast food almost every day) and yet am about 5'9" and 140 pounds as a guy. Nice for me, not nice for the guy who just weighed himself.

Ah, yes, Electric Field Sense. I knew I had forgotten something. I've always wondered if it ties into my constant static charge or rather my super-hearing since it feels like I'm hearing it as a high-pitched whine. You wouldn't happen to have either of those as well?

I've got a super-metabolism as well. I drink 2 liters of coca-cola a day and between 500 a 1000 grams of candy/cake/cookies/etc. and still only weigh between 72 and 77 kilos depending on when I last ate and how much. ^^