Your weapon of choice in the 14th century (with a twist!)

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SimuLord

Whom Gods Annoy
Aug 20, 2008
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OK, here's the scenario. Someone shows up with a time machine that will instantly warp you to the hinterlands outside of London in 1337 AD. You can have any weapon you want---modern or ancient, real or fictional, practical or absurd, and you'll be sent back with a respawning container of whatever ammo your weapon takes (from arrows to microfusion cells and all points in between) and something equivalent to a Weapon Repair Kit or Alien Epoxy from Fallout to keep the weapon in good condition so it doesn't break.

Catches? You still have to be able to aim it (so if you're a weakling and a horrible shot, don't pick the Tesla Cannon, but you could pick an orbital laser platform because that's just a matter of punching the coordinates into a handheld device.

Plus, if locals are able to gain control of the weapon you choose, there's nothing stopping them from using it against you (someone steals that orbital weapons controller when you're asleep, they're gonna blow up your castle in revenge for you destroying their village, for example.)

And finally, if you're using the weapon to hunt animals to keep yourself fed, you'd probably better not choose something like a plasma rifle, since a pile of goo when you wanted venison isn't exactly good eats.

Personally? I'm taking a cue from the Van Graffs and getting myself a good laser rifle. Feel the rush of a warm laser in your hand. Point, pull trigger, bye bye bad guys (and I may lose a few animal kills to ash piles, but not all hits are criticals and pantries can be raided...)
 

Ordinaryundone

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Oct 23, 2010
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....so, is this only Fallout weapons, or can I have whatever I want?

I think I'll go with the Las-Rifle from the Warhammer 40k universe. Its lightweight and durable, strong enough to blow a man to pieces from 100 yards away (in canon, at least...), trivially easy to modify into a "Long-Las" sniper, and even if I didn't get unlimited ammo I can still recharge my energy cells by letting them sit in a fire.

Pretty utilitarian choice.
 

theonlyblaze2

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Aug 20, 2010
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The gravity gun! Think about it. What did people where in war? Armor. Pull that stuff right of them then shoot it right back. Or the BFG but that probaly would pulverize my arms everytime I shot it.
 

demoman_chaos

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May 25, 2009
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A .50 cal rifle would be good. I need something to punch through medieval plate plus it makes a loud noise that would frighten a lot of things.
 

ultrachicken

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Dec 22, 2009
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The assault rifle from Halo: Reach.


It looks awesome, and could decimate hordes of foes, since they'd be in primitive armor that couldn't do shit against an arrow, let alone bullets.
 

Drummie666

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Jan 1, 2011
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A P90 submachine gun would do the trick. Extremely high penetration capabilities. Could I get it silenced too?
 

Layz92

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May 4, 2009
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The terran ghost C10 rifle. Accurate, controllable even on auto and can fire a round that punches a hole right through a tank (and then explodes).
 

Omikron009

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May 22, 2009
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Ordinaryundone said:
....so, is this only Fallout weapons, or can I have whatever I want?

I think I'll go with the Las-Rifle from the Warhammer 40k universe. Its lightweight and durable, strong enough to blow a man to pieces from 100 yards away (in canon, at least...), trivially easy to modify into a "Long-Las" sniper, and even if I didn't get unlimited ammo I can still recharge my energy cells by letting them sit in a fire.

Pretty utilitarian choice.
You stole mine! Even if you have infinite ammo, it's best to choose something that doesn't use bullets to minimize weight, and has no recoil to minimize fatigue. One thing though, is that the actual power of a lasrifle is completely inconsistent based on what source you're taking it from. If the book stars Imperial Guardsmen, it'll be able to drop a charging ork warboss from 200 yards, but if the book or game stars pretty much anybody else it'll be like shining a flashlight on your target. It doesn't matter though, because any armour you'd come up against in the 14th century wouldn't stand a chance.
 

LandoCristo

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Apr 2, 2010
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Well, why would I want to go around killing people in Middle-Ages England for anyways? That said, give me a sentry gun (TF2 version, screw MW2). Just mount that little baby at the entrance to my secret base, and let it deal with any angry hordes who are fearful of my magic.

*Does the trick where you bend you index finger, put the thumb of your other hand near it, and make it look like you're pulling the end of your finger off*

DEMON, am I? Muahahahahah!
 

sora91111

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Dec 10, 2010
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The portal gun with a chainsaw attached. You could use the portal gun to get the victam close, then slice them to bits.
 

ecyor0

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Dec 7, 2010
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Know what? I'd actually go with a Megem-p3, which I here define as a high-capacity iPod loaded with various music and sound effects, attached to a high-powered speaker - basically, as large as it can possibly be while still being possible to carry. I then get myself hired as support for someone's army; imagine how you could send a medieval army scattering by playing Sephiroth's theme from Advent Children at full blast. Or failing that, hire myself out as a one-man team for flushing out game for the hunters, or entertain the court by playing hundreds of songs from faraway lands.

(Course, if I was going to choose any weapon AT ALL I'd go with Battle Engine Aquila, but hey...)
 
May 5, 2010
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Awww, I thought you meant a weapon FROM the 14th century. Because I totally would have gone with a steampunk laser gun. Wait.......I pick a steampunk laser gun.
 

TAGM

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Dec 16, 2008
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Personaly, I'd just take a lazer cannon back, then just give the thing to a master enginer. Then, who knows? I might come back to see lazer cannons were used in WW2 or something...
 

Karratti

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Apr 27, 2010
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Wait, this is in the 14th Century, with unlimited ammo? Give me something like an N7 Assault Rifle (Mass Effect), and I think I'd be able to handle just about any problem that I might have to deal with, especially in London. When the common man doesn't even know how to use a sword, being able to point and shoot anything you want with unlimited rounds of hot lead would make you a virtual god.

While an energy weapon or something to that effect might be interesting, I think a weapon like that would be all I'd need.