Your zombie survival plan

[MajorTomServo]

This has probably been done before, but hey, if you were only allowed to talk about things once, we would have run out of conversations years ago.

Oh no! Green Flu broke out and people are being zombified! Whats your plan of action to survive the ordeal?


For me, it's to get a blunt object, (nothing sharp. Never got the appeal of chainsaws/machetes/katanas. They'd spew blood everywhere, which makes you more likely to get infected.) go to my friends dorms and round them up, drive to my dad's house (since he's a redneck survivalist gun nut) for guns, food, and sent-a-way soap. Next, now that were armed and dangerous, fight our way up north to Canada. It'll be cold up there. Cold enough to freeze zombies to death, since they arent smart enough to bundle up or build houses or fire.


Oh, and to paranoid people, dont worry, this is all a joke. Zombies arent real.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Zombies arent real.

That's what they want you to think.

OT: Grab my crowbar, go with my sister and her friends. We're going away from the main centers and are going to hold up in the tiny communities in the North. We'll take some pictures and videos so the locals won't think we're nuts. Staying here near a city of a quarter million would not end well.

 

[Scarim Coral]

First things first, I will create a make shift suit of armour out of duck tapes! Last time I've check teeth can't bite through it unless the zombie got super sharp teeth and jaw. In which case look out for a zombie cover in duck tapes!

 

[Dissolve]

Travel on land is dangerous. The best life for survival is that of a pirate. I'd immediately steal the largest, fully equipped sail boat in a local marina (I've worked for years as a sailing instructor). I would moor in sheltered bays in remote areas of fresh water, I would fish frequently and seldomly make trips to the shore for supplies. I would avoid conflict with human or zombie at all costs.

 

[Avaholic03]

Time to start sharpening my hockey sticks. 4 minutes for high sticking? Well worth it.

 

[EpicEps]

Travel on land is dangerous. The best life for survival is that of a pirate. I'd immediately steal the largest, fully equipped sail boat in a local marina (I've worked for years as a sailing instructor). I would moor in sheltered bays in remote areas of fresh water, I would fish frequently and seldomly make trips to the shore for supplies. I would avoid conflict with human or zombie at all costs.

I've been proposing that theory for years. Stay of shores in boats, only returning to shore for provisions.

Alternatively, my plan is to go to the top of a tall building, have it well stocked with foods stuffs, ammo and supplies, and travel from building to building or floor to floor via a spiderman system. This way, you can still get around, but the zombies wouldn't be able to follow you because you need fine motor skills to travel from building to building. The zombies will also have trouble getting to the top of the building, because the stairwells will get clogged up and difficult for them to traverse, and the only other way would be climbing the buildings, god forbid. Worse comes to worse, a small supply of suicide pills or a special exploding ammo round would be kept incase of being over run, cuz no one wants to be that one butt that adds to the horde.

 

[Heronblade]

Really depends on the nature of the zombies in question. Stratagems that would work for some kinds of outbreak wouldn't for others. For the sake of simplicity I'll assume a few things:
-speed and strength based upon bodies physical condition, no mutations, zombies running at 50MPH, etc
-mid to low intelligence, with no directing hive mind or flocking behavior
-zombie awareness/detection within relatively normal parameters, no smelling or otherwise sensing you from miles away
-time limit on the life of a zombie, whether due to rot or lack of food
-destruction/disconnection of nervous system kills.
-infection is through direct contact, no airborn pathogens

Assuming I have no contact with or word from any group/place that might be able to help, I would attempt to start moving before the panic really gets going, first stop is the local walmart to appropriate ammunition, food and other supplies. Have a scoped rifle and shotgun available, though an upgrade for both from the pawnshop down the road would be helpful. I'd avoid combat where possible, especially hand to hand. A heavy hatchet or claw hammer would likely be my choice for a backup melee weapon, with both I can choose to crush or cut.

Pack that up and head southwest, avoiding primary roads and densely populated areas. If enough supplies and gas can be found to keep moving that far, the eventual goal is central America. (Shouldn't have too much trouble with gas, some stations will be drained by people doing the same thing, but at least a few should have more than enough reserves available to be siphoned. Finding more food without being eaten in the main concern)Lower population and a significantly faster decay rate should make holding out much easier. Certain parts of Africa would be better, but getting there is unlikely. Another option would be to go far enough north that the cold destroys their muscle tissue, but I'm less likely to safely find the right supplies for that excursion. In the event that I can't go very far, a farmstead on wide open land with no cities or towns for miles around would be ideal.

I thought about nautical travel, but unless I can hook up with a sailor, I'll just drown in the first storm. I know just enough about boats to screw things up.

 

[demoman_chaos]

I own chainmail and a fairly large arsenal of swords, axes, spears, and shields. My viking reenactment group knows how to make clothes, forge weapons, hunt, skin, and everything needed to survive, they are also beasty fighters. One of them has built a viking fort complete with palisade. I think I'm good.

 

[Mr.Squishy]

I...holy shit, you fuckers will not be able to cope if the world any other way than zombies! God! Had I the chance, I would beat the asses of both George Romero and Max Brooks for starting this wave of zombie fetishism!

Zombies are NOT, I repeat, NOT, a huge threat - they rot (Fuck that solanum thing, it's something Max Brooks invented to make them not just up and die within a couple days), they have, the strength of a human being, lack dexterity, lack speed, lack organization, lack firepower, and spreading via bite is a REALLY shitty way to infect enough people to sustain a uprising, not to mention that they don't heal from day-to-day injuries or broken limbs.
And you know what humans are capable off.
In short: THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF.
Sorry about being crude about it, but my god, I am sick and tired of this whole thing.

 

[vrbtny]

Cricket bat and a locked door with a months worth of food to sit out the initial threat.

 

[Sizzle Montyjing]

Are you a fool sir?!


You cannot just simply have one zombie plan, you need many!
Depending on the types of zombies you see.

Slow but with sight- Run to nearby hut, grab weapons, travel a bit, grab fire-axe, then go to rifle club.

Zombies that can't hear- Just stay very quiet.

Fast zombies with all senses- I'm fucked.

 

[MasterOfWorlds]

First things first, I will create a make shift suit of armour out of duck tapes! Last time I've check teeth can't bite through it unless the zombie got super sharp teeth and jaw. In which case look out for a zombie cover in duck tapes!

They can't bite through, but your lack of mobility that would come with wrapping yourself up in enough ducktape to cover your whole body in a thick enough skin of it to protect you might cause problems, not to mention the heat, and the fact that even if they can't bite you, they could still tear and crush with the force of their bites.

OT: Sharpen my katana and gladius, load all of my clips with ammo, sling my AR-15 over my shoulder, and pack up the truck with essentials. Water, first aid, canned food, more ammo, my other guns and swords, log splitter, chainsaw, crowbar, clothes, and various other odds and ends.

Then, move to my uncle's place that's kind of in the woods, clearfell a good portion of it, build a wall around, clearfell more land, and farm/hunt until over. Also, I'd bring my bullet reloading gear. If the world's gone to shit, I'll need to reload my own rounds. XD

 

[lRookiel]

I live in an obscure village and there is a manor basically 2 minutes walking distance from my house that has high walls and then its party piece, instead of 1 gate, it has another gate beyond the first gate. its a fortress in a low populated area that is occupied with hunters/farmer types so I should be able to get my hands on some firearm or weapon (assuming all the old farmers got zombified) . I know how to drive so I can use my car to commute to another village/town to gather supplies and wait till this thing blows over...

 

[Blobpie]

Well, first I'd barricade my house and ensure there are only two ways in and out (Front door, and second story window)

Then I'd wait a few days (while eating all of the fresh food)

After about three days I'd head over to the local grocery store (amusing zombie presence has lowered a bit around my area) And stock up on food and water.

I'd keep doing this until it's either too dangerous to stay, or if the grocery store begins to run out of food.




Back-up plans:
If my house is being surrounded by zombies i would do the following:
Scenario 1: If the zombies aren't that numerous yet I'd take my baseball bat, some food and water and leave as fast as i can.
Scenario 2: If there are too many zombies around my house for me to escape yet, I'd move as much food and water as i can to the second story, destroy the stairs and bunker out on the roof and hope that they move on.



Leaving town: The best chance i have is for me to head north out of the city, then head west to the rocky mountains. And bunker down there for a while.

 

[The Dutchess]

When I was at uni I lived in a block of flats. It was the perfect zombie proof place. They would have to get through the gate or turnstiles, through the block door, up the stairs, through the flat door and finally through my bedroom door.

Basically I believe I'll be able to spot a zombie apocalypse on the horizon (there are always dodgy stories on the news before it gets really bad - just gotta be paranoid enough to spot them!). I'll go to the supermarket and buy as much as I can. Also dig out my old hockey sticks from the garage. Also in movies Zombies always get through windows really quickly ... pretty sure double glazing is pretty hard to punch through. The house isn't ideal, preferable would be living in a block of flats as mentioned above.

Yeah I have thought this through a lot - but it seems I am not alone! We'll be ready.

 

[ecoho]

go out get my friends and family then hole up in my house for 3 weeks. after that when everyone is done panicing go out get a snowplow (they're basicly dump trucks with steel plowheads here) load up on fuel and drive up to the national gaurd armory up north that happens to be in a town of 150 people and is a functioning fallout bunker with enough food to feed us for 50-60 years.


yeah ive thought about this too much........

 

[zf6hellion]

I'd just shut my door, the weather conditions will kill off the entire zombie horde before they become a threat. Though I will intentionally go out of my way to identify certain zombies. I need to know which houses to loot when the "threat" is over.

 

[Jaack11]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VK17r6hN96k

Its the right thing to do.

 

[Jaack11]

Sorry - double post!

 

[Northern64]

Funny thing is that heading north is not really all that crucial for me. (already in the great white north) to be fair I'm in southern Ontario but there is a lot of empty land here. A quick call to my family and we meet up at the family hunting camp; isolated, off grid, middle of nowhere, with the exception of the trailer park half a click away, which is just like you'd imagine, rednecks, beer and rifles for days. it's like a summer vacation except the school year isn't starting up in September.