You're a teen so you're not in charge of your sexuality...

[The Crispy Tiger]

Yeah, when I posted a thread talking about a certain character turning out to be gay in The Last of Us (not going to spoil that here)I got an overwhelming response of (She's/He is a teenager, which means she's/he is just experimenting, which means she/he doesn't know what the hell she/he is in the first place) I'm doing a shit job at hiding who this is but I'm really trying here okay. Either way, my problem with this is this idea that just because you're young, you don't know who you are.

It's a crazy statement, I understand where people are coming from with this, but I can't help be touched the wrong way by this. As someone who is also 15 years old, and likes girls as a guy. No one ever goes to me and says "Eh, he doesn't REALLY like that girl, he might be gay, or bi, who knows!?!?" That doesn't happen, no one ever questions my sexuality. So it comes off as just really strange that same thing would be said about this character in question and to just to blow it off because "She's just experimenting..." There's are reasons to blow it off in question if you don't like

A) The character in question
B) The DLC
C) Thought said DLC was useless

Fine. Who gives a fuck, I comment to have fun intellectual discussions about video games. I don't take this that damn seriously. But since this seems to affect the people around me and something certainly dangling over my generation, it just seems weird and something that I had to bring up. Anyways, I still love this site, still love the people, and just thought this was interesting to bring up. Thanks for reading.

 

[Yuno Gasai]

My opinion on teenage sexuality isn't strongly one way or the other.

I agree that people do change throughout their teenage years, and that your perception on things can be changed as an adult, but that doesn't mean that how someone feels when they're a teenager should be ignored completely.

I also think it's rude to assume that a teenager liking someone of the same gender is "just a phase". How do you know? The individual in question might just be very in tune with who they are. That's not to say that what they want right now will never change, but who are you to tell them who they should and shouldn't like?

Regardless of what age you are, fall for whoever you want. It's like that phrase I used to hear all the time - "The people who mind don't matter, and the people who matter don't mind."

 

[Thaluikhain]

While there is an element of that, teenagers are finding themselves and all...you are correct there is a big double standard about heteronormativeness.

Nobody ever says "How do you know you are straight?" because they might be going through a phase or just not shagged the right person of the same sex yet.

 

[Eamar]

I really hate this argument. Yes, it's possible that someone might be confused or experimenting, but it's also perfectly possible that they know exactly what their sexuality is. Same goes for the argument that goes "how can you be sure if you haven't kissed/had sex with someone of the same sex yet?" Because virgins don't know themselves at all, right?

If anything it's worse for bisexuals because, y'know, stereotypes. I actually waited until I was 17 to come out as bi even though I was aware of and comfortable with my orientation before then, because I felt like people were more likely to take me seriously when I was a bit older (I was right, as it turns out).

You never hear anyone pulling that bullshit with straight kids >.<

 

[shrekfan246]

Well, you see, one of the reasons people don't question whether or not you really like a girl or not is because heterosexuality is still seen as 'the norm'. Unless you live in a very open-minded area, most people would likely expect you to be into girls, so it's not really a 'surprise' one way or the other.

As far as other sexualities are concerned, the teenage years are generally when people are the most conflicted. It's beaten into our heads by the media that we should only be attracted to members of the opposite sex, and many people still hold violent prejudices against homosexuals or bisexuals or pansexuals or whatever else you want to think of, because it's 'weird' and therefore bad. But even beyond that, some kids just might not be sure of what attracts them. It's not a time when you're the most mentally or emotionally mature person you'll ever become, so it's okay to not know who you are.

Of course, like previously mentioned that doesn't mean it should be ignored entirely because "it's just a phase", but the rationale exists for both sides of the discussion.

 

[DANEgerous]

I am 27 and being Bi is still just a phase or being confused to many people because to them it is impossible to be Bi sexual no matter your age or even amount of sexual partners. It is just weird, people know you have had sex with both men and women but you are still in their minds confused. It is honestly as absurd as saying you can not like beef and chicken these people claim to know what you desire better than you do. They know your preference... somehow.

 

[Eamar]

I am 27 and being Bi is still just a phase or being confused to many people because to them it is impossible to be Bi sexual no matter your age or even amount of sexual partners. It is just weird, people know you have had sex with both men and women but you are still in their minds confused. It is honestly as absurd as saying you can not like beef and chicken these people claim to know what you desire better than you do. They know your preference... somehow.

My mum's particularly bad for this. Every few months she'll say something along the lines of "yeah, you say you're bisexual, but you don't actually sleep with other women..."

Then I have to remind her that actually yes, yes I do. Quite often, actually. Not going to lie, it's an awkward conversation to have, particularly on a semi-regular basis.

With her it's not even just the bisexuality that she refuses to believe, it's any and all actual evidence that I have ever had homosexual experiences. I could probably fuck a woman right there in front of her and she'd claim nothing ever happened.

I used to get annoyed about it, but it's actually pretty funny. I actually kind of hope I end up marrying a woman someday, because it'd be glorious to watch her flap all through the ceremony and reception XD

 

[geK0]

I know a fair number of people who identified as hetero in highschool and came out as gay later; so "How do you know you're straight?" doesn't seem like an unreasonable question. I also know a ton of people (mostly women) who dated the same gender in highschool and started to prefer the opposite gender in later years.

That doesn't mean that what they had during their highschool years is fake, their sexuality just developed over time. In some ways a lot of these people are confused, a lot of them are just experimenting, but I see nothing inherently wrong with that : \

I see sexuality as a much more fluid thing than most people do. I honestly don't believe that somebody can be born with a preset sexuality.

 

[The Crispy Tiger]

i don't understand how you know you are bi or not. i like being cuddly with girls but no idea if its bi.

 

[JoJo]

i don't understand how you know you are bi or not. i like being cuddly with girls but no idea if its bi.

Do you feel sexual attraction towards other females? Do you like to imagine having sex with them? If yes, then you're most likely bisexual. If no and you just like cuddling, then you probably aren't.

 

[an annoyed writer]

its even worse when you are transgender. most people lump gender orientation and sexual orientation together so you get a doubly whammy of confusion and its a phase BS growing up

This. Totally this. I still don't hear the end of it, ever, when talking to my parents anymore. They keep going "It's just a phase, it's just a phase, you'll grow out of it, etc. etc." even though it's something that's been present since I was a goddamn tyke, for fuck's sake. Willful ignorance is a strong drug.

 

[The Crispy Tiger]

i don't understand how you know you are bi or not. i like being cuddly with girls but no idea if its bi.

Bisexual simply means that you like women and men no matter what gender...

 

[Someone Depressing]

Most people learn more about themselves everyday. Teenagers, because of their rapidly growing interests, sexualities, and bodies, learn much more about themselves in those short, so-far-away-now 8 or so years than you'll probably learn about yourself in your entire adult life.

Adults experiment with their sexuality.
Teenagers do the same.

It's a pretty neutral argument. A lot of people in the LGBT COMMUNITY find it hard to label their sexuality. Erika Moen, for example, finds that her female/male attraction too one-sided, so she simply labels herself as queer as she's only ever had one male partner. Or Stephen Fry; he's said he's been attracted to women at times, but he labels himself as homosexual.
Really, it varies from person to person, and teenagers can discover themselves however they want. Just not under my roof.

 

[Autumnflame]

Because making your sexuality your one defining trait. is a poor choice as if thats all thats important about you.

the devs intentionally left it vague so you caould make ellie your own.

She might have been gay, bi, curious, pan or what ever. its upto you to make your own idea of what you think fits
AND NOT force your ideal situation upon others

 

[Robert Marrs]

I think ultimately when you are a teen you might not completely know. I experimented quite a bit from the time I was 14-17 and there were times where I was not really sure. I finally realized that while I might be a bit more liberal sexually than some people I don't find people of the same sex attractive and I had never actually had a crush on someone of the same sex. I also know MANY people who did the same thing when they were my age (mostly girls, though they may have just been more honest about it) and almost none of them actually turned out to be gay so I think its understandable to see where this reasoning comes from.

 

[The Crispy Tiger]

Because making your sexuality your one defining trait. is a poor choice as if thats all thats important about you.

the devs intentionally left it vague so you caould make ellie your own.

She might have been gay, bi, curious, pan or what ever. its upto you to make your own idea of what you think fits
AND NOT force your ideal situation upon others

1) Ellie was her own person THE ENTIRE TIME
2) Thanks for the being the guy that spoiled who it was...
3) We're not here to talk about that...

 

[Erttheking]

Yeah, it kinda pisses me off too. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are some people who go through bi-curious phases, but people said that person really wasn't gay it reminded me of the people who said that Ellen Paige was coming out of the closet just to get attention. It's insulting.