You're a teen so you're not in charge of your sexuality...

[Bellvedere]

It's not incorrect though. People do experiment as teenagers. Some heterosexuals try being gay as teens, some gays try being straight as teens. I know three or four girls in my high school year that "experimented". All of them are now straight. The only girl from my high school year I know of who actually is a lesbian, had a boyfriend then and a couple of guys I know are still changing their minds every few months and they're young adults now.

Besides, I think that you question people's sexuality based on who they are (or more accurately who you think they are) anyway. Like I never believed that one of my highschool friends was straight - and rightly so, he's not only out-gay now but practically a gay stereotype - and very proud of the fact. At the end of the day though, whether you believe someone about their sexuality or not, it doesn't matter since arguing with them about it is completely futile and it wouldn't change your relationship with them anyway.

 

[norashepard]

Woo straight privilege! Yeah, I agree that it's pretty stupid that you can be sure you're straight, but you can't be sure you're gay/lesbian/bi/whatever as a teenager.

It's a particularly hurtful thing too. If you keep getting told "no, you don't really know how you feel yet, trust us we're adults" you're going to feel really bad about yourself. And if we extend this to include transgender feelings, then it actually kind of REALLY sucks, as it postpones transition, and the longer that is put off, the higher chance trans kids have of killing themselves or developing mental problems.

Like, yeah I understand that sexuality is fluid, especially during the teenage years, but we shouldn't be saying "no you're wrong, you're just going through a phase." We should be saying, "Is that how you feel? Cool. I'm glad you're discovering what you like/dislike."

Capatcha: Saturday Detention
Something I had to go to because of my 'experimentation'!

 

[Something Amyss]

Nobody ever says "How do you know you are straight?" because they might be going through a phase or just not shagged the right person of the same sex yet.

I say it all the time!

>.>

Okay, no. And a good point.

I really hate this argument. Yes, it's possible that someone might be confused or experimenting, but it's also perfectly possible that they know exactly what their sexuality is. Same goes for the argument that goes "how can you be sure if you haven't kissed/had sex with someone of the same sex yet?" Because virgins don't know themselves at all, right?

And we all know that you can't possibly know who you're attracted to until after sex. I mean, come on. Anything else would be madness.

I dated a girl for two years before having sex with her, and I didn't know I was into her until that moment. Of course, nobody questioned it because it was an ostensibly straight relationship....

It's not incorrect though. People do experiment as teenagers.

And in their 20s, their 30s, their 40s....

Look, as I said the first time, it's perfectly normal to be 'gay' one week, then 'bi' after that, and then 'straight' after that.

I'd like to see some evidence of that.

Woo straight privilege!

Aw, crap. You used the "p" word. Now everyone's going to shut down.

 

[Imp_Emissary]

Yeah, teens do "experiment" from time to time, but that moment was not one of those times.
People were/are in denial. ;p

The Devs themselves came out (<-Hehe), and said it was pretty much what it looks like.

With all the set up, and the way they went into it, the music, the things they said after, and the history the characters have. Yeah, that wasn't a "friend kiss". xD

Honestly though, why be so bothered by it?

They never made it clear what she liked before, and in the end it's just another detail of the story/characters.

Besides.
It's not like it's going to go anywhere.......


F@#KING mushrooms....

 

[Imp_Emissary]

While there is an element of that, teenagers are finding themselves and all...you are correct there is a big double standard about heteronormativeness.

Nobody ever says "How do you know you are straight?" because they might be going through a phase or just not shagged the right person of the same sex yet.

:0 Hey! That's not true. I did!
See?
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/9.842493.20730936

He never did say why he and his wife broke up. ;p

[sub][sub][sub]Disclaimer: What you say is very true. Real lame for those who "aren't straight", as Jim calls himself.[/sub][/sub][/sub]

 

[Something Amyss]

Let me rephrase that then. It's totally normal to identify, and believe you are, 'gay' one week, then 'bi' after that, and then 'straight' after that.

Let me rephrase that, then. I'd like to see some evidence of that.

The rephrase doesn't change anything meaningful.

Yeah, teens do "experiment" from time to time, but that moment was not one of those times.

I'd also point out that "experimenting" doesn't necessarily mean you've changed your sexuality or identity.

 

[GeneralChaos]

Well, one commonly cited statistic for frequency of gay/straight is 10/90%, however those studies were recently cast into doubt as FAR overestimating the frequency of homosexuality. Let's say the actual number is 5/95%, which is a bit generous given recent data, but round numbers are easier.
Before observing any behavior, you should therefore be 95% certain that any given teenager is straight. If a teenager says they are straight, that is evidence in favor of them being straight, resulting in some number above 95% for the updated probability that they are straight, so it seems entirely reasonable to just take it as granted that they are and move on.
Now, what if a teen says they are gay/bi? It seems clear that some portion of teens who say they are gay/bi end up being straight, but let's say that most people know themselves pretty well. A gay teen has a 80% chance to recognize that they are gay as a teenager, and straight teens only claim to be gay 10% of the time. This means that out of a sample size of 100 teens, 5 are gay, 95 are straight. 4 are gay and say they are gay, 1 is gay and says they are straight, 9 are straight and claim to be gay, and 86 are straight and claim to be straight. (obviously these numbers are just extrapolated from personal experience and rough estimates. The math should be consistent, just plug in your own values)
This means that if a teenager says they are gay, there is only a ~30% chance they are actually gay (4/13). From a purely rational standpoint, a teenager saying they are gay is not enough evidence to overcome the prior improbability of being straight, due to the high margin of error of experimenting teens mistakenly identifying as gay.
If you assume that gay teens correctly identify as gay 100% of the time, it would still require fewer than 5% of straight teens to mistakenly identify as gay in order to tilt the probability past 50%.
In conclusion, a teenager who initially identifies as being gay is probably mistaken. Further evidence (i.e. homosexual relationships, identifying as gay for an extended period of time, etc.) is required before it becomes reasonable to believe that they are gay. Rather than worry about people not accepting who you are, we should instead focus on finding a more reliable test.

 

[HardkorSB]

No one ever goes to me and says "Eh, he doesn't REALLY like that girl, he might be gay, or bi, who knows!?!?"

That's because heterosexuality is the default state. It's the way it's supposed to be in order to keep our species alive.
It's logical to be attracted to the opposite sex, that's why people don't question it.

So it comes off as just really strange that same thing would be said about this character in question and to just to blow it off because "She's just experimenting..."

Does it?
I haven't played the game but from what I know, it's about a zombie apocalypse.
This character is 15, probably haven't had a chance to have sex before it happened. She (it's a girl, right?) might die at any moment and her hormones are boiling inside of her. Why is it strange to assume that she would want to experiment, considering that tomorrow she might be dead?

 

[Imp_Emissary]

Let me rephrase that then. It's totally normal to identify, and believe you are, 'gay' one week, then 'bi' after that, and then 'straight' after that.

Let me rephrase that, then. I'd like to see some evidence of that.

The rephrase doesn't change anything meaningful.

Yeah, teens do "experiment" from time to time, but that moment was not one of those times.

I'd also point out that "experimenting" doesn't necessarily mean you've changed your sexuality or identity.

:/ Is sexuality separate from identity, or just a separate part of identity?

Spoiler: BAH, turtle teeth!

[https://imageshack.com/i/muo7flj]

Either way, I see your point and agree.

 

[Something Amyss]

Either way, I see your point and agree.

Cool. I know it was slightly tangential, but your post made me think of it. My brain just works that way. OH HEY, IDEA! LET ME SPOUT OFF NOW!

 

[Something Amyss]

Because making your sexuality your one defining trait. is a poor choice as if thats all thats important about you.

Can that be said in any way aboot Ellie?

I'm not sure I understand. Are you confused with my example specifically? Or, that a lot of teens are confused about their sexual/gender identity, and as such, have the potential to 'flip flop' as it were?

Can you actually demonstrate this in terms of real evidence?

 

[Something Amyss]

snip

So you've got one quote from a single person who doesn't entirely verify your prior statement.

 

[The Crispy Tiger]

No one ever goes to me and says "Eh, he doesn't REALLY like that girl, he might be gay, or bi, who knows!?!?"

That's because heterosexuality is the default state. It's the way it's supposed to be in order to keep our species alive.
It's logical to be attracted to the opposite sex, that's why people don't question it.

So it comes off as just really strange that same thing would be said about this character in question and to just to blow it off because "She's just experimenting..."

Does it?
I haven't played the game but from what I know, it's about a zombie apocalypse.
This character is 15, probably haven't had a chance to have sex before it happened. She (it's a girl, right?) might die at any moment and her hormones are boiling inside of her. Why is it strange to assume that she would want to experiment, considering that tomorrow she might be dead?

The character is not really thinking like that... Trust me, the thing goes so naturally it's bullshit to treat like it's experimenting. Some things are just natural for people whether it's default for all of humanity or not.

 

[TristanBelmont]

This really bugs me due to how it's affected me in my daily school life. Just last summer I realized I'm asexual, when before I thought I was heterosexual (male, so I was a skirt-chaser). Nobody ever questioned my sexuality or told me I "just didn't know yet", despite the fact that I regularly complimented males and females on their appearance (as well as discussed male and female celebrities in terms of hotness). However, the day I return from summer break and I mention to some friends what I had discovered about myself, the wrong people heard and suddenly the whole school knew.

One week back in school and several people had called me crazy, told me I had "no idea what sexuality was", and in two cases female classmates of mine who never looked my way twice the previous year offered to let me "experiment" with them to clear things up (no doubt they just wanted to brag they had "fixed" me).

No-one else decides what you are or who you are. That's for you and you alone. And maybe the voices in your head.

 

[The Crispy Tiger]

Look, as I said the first time, it's perfectly normal to be 'gay' one week, then 'bi' after that, and then 'straight' after that. The fact of the matter is, adolescent hormones are crazy, so when someone says to you: 'it's just a phase,' they might very well be correct. That doesn't mean you should do something like that outright(because there's always the possibility that it's not a phase, and if that's the case, those comments can be extremely hurtful), and you should try to be supportive of the gender/sexual identity choices your peers make, and help them down if they end up doubling back.

All I've ever tried to say was that the positions you take in your teenage years might not be the ones you stand behind in adulthood.

OH NO. I'm totally supportive of whatever phases my friends go through over the years and it's totally possible to go through a phase... HOWEVER. Certain situations are just not phases, some people are just naturally gay, and yeah that's when the comments irk me the wrong way into disrespectful territory. The creators idea was that a character was to be gay, sure it was after the main campaign, it was the way things were meant to go. So as a writer (no seriously I'm a writer and I write characters that are gay), I would be slightly pissed at the unanimous dismissal of my character's preference. BUT then again, I can overreact, and I do get a little overattached to characters that I write or love.