You're starting up your own cult...

[masher]

We will worship all that is Cute and Adorable. And we will sacrifice all that is not Cute and Adorable to that which is Cute and Adorable. All the while maintaining an outwardly appearance that can only be described as, "Cute and Adorable."

 

[The Shade]

Googlism!

The only truly omniscient being in existence is far more deserving of worship than any imaginary one.

The Prophets, Larry Page and Sergey Brin, will hold the highest order in our religion.

Our creed will be, "Don't be evil!"

Non-believers, or as we call them, "Yahooligans," will be ignored as they slowly dwindle away into obscurity and are forgotten.

All hail Google!

 

[Adventurer2626]

Scions of Glaurung. (Father of Dragons from the Silmarillion) I would forge unearth the helm of Turin and the blade Gurthang. With my super mystical cult voodoo I would use the DNA remnants of Glaurung's blood to clone resurrect his corpse and unleash his wrath upon the children of the second born (humans).

 

[TheSuperiorXemnas]

The Cult of Suzumiya (Or as it was said in "The Big Picture") The Church of Haruhi

We worship Haruhi Suzumiya

We are to find contact with anything paranormal and have an awesome time playing with Aliens, Time Travelers, or Espers.

We are to follow in the teaching of that have been left behind by Haruhi Suzumiya, knowing that (Even Without our knowledge) The earth is less than 50 years old and was only created through the existance of Ms. Suzumiya. We believe that Ms. Suzu,iya can change the world's order and bend known reality in order to drive out the things that she considers to be too Normal.

Non-Believers will be subjected to, ss Ms. Suzumiya calls is, the "The Death Penalty" (Don't worry, we're not really going ot kill you) which can result in how Ms. Suzumiya sees fit.

 

[emeraldrafael]

We'd be the CBW, which would basically be an Anti WBC cult just for the hell of it. We'd go out, protest at their protests, with signs saying hte exact opposite and basically just troll for the lolz.

 

[theheroofaction]

We would be called the meemonites.
See, they'd believe that god is a being from the future, that is comprised of all the memes the world has made.

In our first sermon we will begin with the message about how our lord memicus, is a pretty cool guy, he creates universes and doesn't afraid of anything. Then thee is a message about the deceptions inherent in cake. Then we shut up and take the donation money. then we do the message titled "hey, you should listen" which is exactly 9001 words long. Lastly as we finish up we remind our audience to do a barrel roll on the way home.

 

[darkfire613]

I sort of already started a cult. We only had three members consisting of my three closest friends at the time, and it fell apart after a couple weeks, but it was fun. It started in a study hall one day when I folded a lined piece of paper into a pyramid shape out of boredom. At first I said it was a statement on modern art and how anything could be called "art" these days, and from there it became the central focus of worship for my cult. It was called Triangulism and was focused on how all aspects of life have three sides to them.

I've lost the triangle now but the memory lives on.

 

[Strain42]

I would try to start that religion briefly mentioned in the movie Franklyn where the holy scripture is the manual to a washing machine.

Or failing that, the Cat religion from Red Dwarf.

 

[KP Shadow]

I would start a cult based around being a genuinely good person, accepting of others regardless of race, nationality, sexuality, gender, or beliefs, and that as long as you are a good person, you will have a good afterlife. No matter what you believe in, what gender you are, your nationality, or who you like to fuck, you can get into heaven (or whatever the equivalent) is, as long as you're a decent person who doesn't go around committing major crimes. And even then, if the act is under circumstances that would justify it, it's not considered as bad. Those who try to turn our words of love into words of hate will be cast into one of the deepest circles of hell, a few circles above Hitler, Stalin, and Mao.

 

[Dane Tesston]

We shall simply be called The Black. It will be our self-imposed duty to eliminate all those that would endanger the wellbeing of the public at large. Like crappy movie directors. We will have five tenants.

1. Never harm an innocent.

2. Never show mercy to your prey.

3. Never endanger your fellows. Do what you must to prevent it.

4. Betrayal of the tenants, intentional or otherwise, will be met with only one punishment.

5. A member may never leave The Black while still alive.

Our weapon of choice will be the 92FS Inox. We will have no set uniform, though members must wear atleast one black article of clothing. We will except people of all races, genders, and orientation. Religion will not prevent membership, so long as it does not effect loyalty to the Black. We will have no set meeting place, though consistent lines of communication will be available.

Every Friday will be pizza, videogame, and movie night, with a location set the previous day. All members are welcome to attend as they wish, and may bring any food they choose so long as they bring enough to share.

 

[Naeo]

The Cult of the Classics. All members must have several years of study in Latin and/or Greek to the point that they are competent in the language(s) and have familiarity with classic works such as the Aeneid, the Odyssey, etc. And a few modern cult classic films/bits of literature that are sufficiently nerdy.

Or, a cult whose core belief is the interchangeability of all alveolar consonants. Like "l" and "n".

 

[Flailing Escapist]

YES! This looks like a good thread, Steve!
[small]Indeed it does.[/small]
Back in high school a few of my friends and I talked about started a hypothetical Xbox religion- [small]cult[/small] -right, cult. We talked about it over lunch for a couple weeks and were able to establish when, where and how often we would meet to worship the golden Xbox.

And I remember when we had to research cults in psychology a couple years ago. I can't remember the guys name but I researched this guy who formed a cult around the return of Halley's Comet. [small]And they all commited suicide.[/small] Right, he was a loon. He was fired as a -[small]professor?[/small]- I think so; for having homosexual relationships with his students. He eventually proclaimed himself jesus christ and ran off to form a cult.
[small]What a loon.[/small]

But if I was to make a cult it would probably be based pretty heavily off the return of aliens -[small]The Makers[/small]- who will only take the "Chosen" with them. And I will proclaim myself to be the "Prophet" who will lead the sheep to greener pastures.
[small]Why don't I get to be the Prophet?[/small]
YOU WERE PROPHET LAST TIME, JACKASS!!!
Yeah, and you're not real either so by default I get to be the Prophet.

Rules will include that I, Flailing Escapist, am all powerful. [sub]YOU WISH!!![/sub] And anything I say is the truth. 1+1=50 as far as the sheep are concerned. [sub]SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!![/sub]

My cult will also have to be mostly women and maybe a few of my best friends.
[small]And sluts.[/small]
[sub]THE SLUTS!!![/sub]

And the final ruling will be that the moment I pass away every else in the cult must commit suicide. I'll say it's so my sheep can come with me to limbo, I guess, where we'll wait until the Makers come.
[sub]WHAT'S A CULT WITHOUT A FEW HUNDRED DEAD?!!![/sub]
Exactly.

 

[Dane Tesston]

Flailing Escapist: And the final ruling will be that the moment I pass away every else in the cult must commit suicide. I'll say it's so my sheep can come with me to limbo, I guess, where we'll wait until the Makers come.
[sub]WHAT'S A CULT WITHOUT A FEW HUNDRED DEAD?!!![/sub]
Exactly.


Oh dear, it seems our cults would be at oods. Here's hoping your "sheep" can put up a good fight.

 

[WolfThomas]

Cult of Justice, it'd work with three person cells, one person would be in charge and be part of a cell above that, where someone else would be charge there etc. Members would know only three other members at the most. But the higher you were you'd be able to send information and changes in strategy doctrine down the chain. Everyone would have a tattoo of the scales of justice with a sword in the middle and a number hidden somewhere out of sight but revealable (like under hair etc, in between toes etc), if asked by none members they're told to say it's a just a dumb astronomy thing they got.

The goal of the cult...to fight crime (obviously).

How you do it is up to each individual cell, be it punisher style attacks, patroling the streets, high profile mob assassinations or volunteering at community centres teaching youth jobs, whatever. The cell system would allow information, missions and money to flow up and down where it's needed. Hopefully important members would join like Police, Doctors, Lawyrers and Politicians, so anonymous tips can be given, stuff covered up and important aid supplied.

In my inner circle we'd know a lot of our lieutenants but ultimately not all the members and they wouldn't know us. We have perhaps a hidden network for quick communication and assistance.

Captured drugs would be surrendered to the police anonymously, guns allocated to cells that desire them and money goes up the chain to be redistributed. I'd take enough to live comfortably and not have to work to support my, but most would be reinvested into cells and community projects.

So I guess it's more anti-crime terrorist organization/syndicate at the moment, so I'd have a whole bunch of rules, creeds and other stuff.

 

[enzilewulf]

I would start the Hats cult. We would worship fedoras since they were the coolest hat ever. if you buy enough hats then when you die you get to go to the hat galaxy and live on one of many hat shaped planets. We accept all people, weather it be flat bills to those tropical fruit hats. In life you have to wear a hat every day for at least a hour alone and meditate about thinking of hat designs. Yet if you wear crocks or aviators with said hats you burn in the hat sun for all of eternity for mixing the fashion and fucking it up. Said hats would also need to be worn with a appropriate piece of clothing. Flat bills for teams would have to have a corresponding jersey. Fedoras would be worn by the high ranking members of the cult and you would need a suit and tie to go along with it.

Non believers would have to wear those hats with the bill but only a strap that expose your head and a crappy Hawaii shirt.

oh and +5 hat points for people who make their own hats.

...can we play Team Fortress 2 all day?

Of coarse! Yet it is strongly advised you have one of those hats that you can attach soda cans to.

 

[Erana]

well If i had a cult we wouldn't worship a specific person. My cult would be the cult of insanity. My cultists would all be insane and develop strange obsessions and manias, With me as the Puppeteer of sorts. since we have no real belief system beside our insanity and removal from reality, Non-believers would basically be normal "Sane" people. So i guess we would all do our own thing and either not notice the person at all, or one of our more violent cultists would ravage and destroy them it would just matter which of the many would see him first.

Oooh, I know this one! You stack furniture up in funny positions and rant about how they speak, right? And then tentacles grow out from where your eyes were and you start hanging around in big red-and-black ruins?

The name would be "The Fur Underground"
We would worship the furry characters
and your not allowed in if you don't have any fandom related items.

Haters gonna hate.

So... What separates it from just a fandom? You need rituals and some kinda pantheon, or something.
If you manage to make Secret Squirrel utility hats, I bet you'd see tons of converts. Probably from this guy:

I would start the Hats cult. We would worship fedoras since they were the coolest hat ever. if you buy enough hats then when you die you get to go to the hat galaxy and live on one of many hat shaped planets. We accept all people, weather it be flat bills to those tropical fruit hats. In life you have to wear a hat every day for at least a hour alone and meditate about thinking of hat designs. Yet if you wear crocks or aviators with said hats you burn in the hat sun for all of eternity for mixing the fashion and fucking it up. Said hats would also need to be worn with a appropriate piece of clothing. Flat bills for teams would have to have a corresponding jersey. Fedoras would be worn by the high ranking members of the cult and you would need a suit and tie to go along with it.

Non believers would have to wear those hats with the bill but only a strap that expose your head and a crappy Hawaii shirt.

oh and +5 hat points for people who make their own hats.

Damn, I fucking love hats.

*proceeds to apply hats to every post in this thread*

Still, I'd go the boring route and try to make a cult of just being nice, while trying to make as many safeguards as possible against zealots years down the road.

 

[The Hero Killer]

We would be called the Nobodies. We would consist of anyone who has felt like a social outcast either because of the way the look, their personal interests, or any other reason. We would change the face of society, we would give a voice to the voiceless, and break down the barriers of popularity and acceptance.

 

[orangeapples]

Church of Unspoken Words

Our main motto is that "The Truth is in the words that are never said". It sounds like I have discovered something that regular people have not come to realize. All good cults need something like that.

we will have one and only one rule: One can never do as they say, for if it is said, it is a lie.

Only those who follow the rule may become my high-priests and I will reveal the secret of the Truth to them. However, if one always lies to follow the rule they would be following words that are lying to them. I will not tell any of my followers this because I will be continuously speaking in contradictions.

I will tell them things like, "The most honest person is one who never tells the truth for a person who tells the truth is really saying a half-truth hiding their secrets within and a liar can never be trusted for being honest."

You see the best way to make a successful cult is to overly confuse your followers and soon they will believe they do not know anything anymore and then you can fill their heads with anything you want.

there will be a $10 monthly fee and I shall tell them things like, "don't bring your friends or family, for they need to know the Truth."

 

[badgersprite]

Dear Sir,

Regarding your inquiries as to my hypothetical intentions of founding an organisation of like-minded gentlemen and ladies, I do propose that any such group I might endeavour to create would be The Cult of the Period Pieces.

The entire purpose of this club would be to dress and articulate oneself in the manner of a Victorian era novel, or some such other imitations of an historical period as described in literature, and I would beseech any who would join me to always carry oneself in the manner of the highest order of gent or madam.

Activities condoned by The Cult of the Period Pieces include:
- Riding horses to summer estates
- Picnics
- Ill-fated matchmaking
- Letter writing
- Satirising the vanities of high society
- Over romanticising
- Sexual repression
- Staring wistfully into the distance
- Witty remarks
- And murdering London prostitutes

 

[Latinidiot]

well If i had a cult we wouldn't worship a specific person. My cult would be the cult of insanity. My cultists would all be insane and develop strange obsessions and manias, With me as the Puppeteer of sorts. since we have no real belief system beside our insanity and removal from reality, Non-believers would basically be normal "Sane" people. So i guess we would all do our own thing and either not notice the person at all, or one of our more violent cultists would ravage and destroy them it would just matter which of the many would see him first.

So you'd be Sheogorath. noice.

I call my cult the cult of one. It's only me, and all members must be lonely.


*curl up*