You're starting up your own cult...

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CrazyGirl17

I am a banana!
Sep 11, 2009
5,141
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My cult would stand against the stupidity of the lowest common denominator, and the people in charge of TV stations, comic books, ect. who screw up things for everyone else.

Not sure what we'd call ourselves, though,probably something nerdy...
 

Je Suis Ubermonkey

New member
Jun 10, 2010
380
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I would worship the direction of Wajj.

Wajj Theory:
Wajj is created through:
Theoretically metaphysical convulsions of multi-dimensional eddies in the controversially introverted antidisestablishmentarian perpetrators of the hyperbolic plausibility misappropriation (the impartially homozygous and disassociated pronunciation of condescension in meteorological philosophy, involving consecration of anthropoids apprehended desecrating polymerised astrophysics), as perpendicularly assimilated by exothermically desiccated Wajj.

Definitions
Wajj-the direction North via South-East (start facing North, return from the South-East) Alternate spellings include Wajjé, Wajjnh, Whajj and Ktyddrpjon?pok
Wajjifist-a follower of Wajj
Wajjificated-sent/returned from wajj
Wajjificatified-made to face wajj
Wajjuristicated- tried for crimes in a wajjward facing court of wajj
Wajjuristifications-happenings inside a court of wajj
Wajjifisticatified- made a wajjifist
Wajjerifical-of wajj
Wajjiminal-a committer of wajj related crimes
Wajjerificalistificatified-made of wajj (to have become wajj)
Wajjerization-the act of turning something into wajj
Wajjerizatificate- to wajjerize (see wajjerization. Please note wajjerize is only a concept, not a real word)
Wajjerizatificatified-to have been experienced wajjerization
Wajjerooney-meaning unknown
Wajjeroonifisticate- to do something wajjerooney-like
Wajjifications- consequences of wajj related acts
Wajjouttaforddeboolman -exclamation used in wajjificatified ball games (said with Jamaican accent)
Wajjam-preserved essence of wajj
Wajjenda-goals/targets of wajjificatified political parties
Wajjetera-indicates that a wajjerifical list continues.
Wajjocalisedified-made local to wajj
Wajjination-destination achieved via wajj
Wajjinationified-to have arrived at a wajjination
Supercalafragalisticexpialawajjified-eaten
Wajjammajamma-to dance wajjwards
Wajjammajammier-one who wajjammajammas
Wajjammajammafistificatified-to have become a wajjammajammier
Wajjammajammafistificatifier-one who wajjammammafisticatifies others
Wajjurbationification-the self pleasuring of wajj
Wajjarrallel-parallel to wajj, but not wajj
Wajjarrallelificating- travelling wajjarrallel (please note, this is impossible to those with anything other than 1.9 feet, 18 legs and 4y wings, in that order)
Wajjawajjawajjawajjawajjawajjawajjawajjawajjawajjawajjawajjawajjawajjawajjawajj traditional chant of a wajjifist
Wajjaphemificate- to go against the teachings of wajj

The Teachings of Wajj
North via South East good
Other ways bad
Wajj good
Others bad
Wajj like sponge cake
Others not so good
Wajj like pie
Others like pie
All hail pie


Yes I put some thought into this.
 

Aerodyamic

New member
Aug 14, 2009
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I make my cultists chant my name, give me money, and wear bathrobes. I'd thought about branding them letting them go naked and free-range, but most cultists aren't attractive people, as a general rule.

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Latinidiot

New member
Feb 19, 2009
2,215
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Glass Joe the Champ said:
Latinidiot said:
I call my cult the cult of one. It's only me, and all members must be lonely.


*curl up*
Wow, that's the second most hilariously depressing thing I've heard all week...
I hope you're not being sarcastic, that would really get me down.
 

Dalek Caan

Pro-Dalek, Anti-You
Feb 12, 2011
2,871
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enzilewulf said:
I would start the Hats cult. We would worship fedoras since they were the coolest hat ever. if you buy enough hats then when you die you get to go to the hat galaxy and live on one of many hat shaped planets. We accept all people, weather it be flat bills to those tropical fruit hats. In life you have to wear a hat every day for at least a hour alone and meditate about thinking of hat designs. Yet if you wear crocks or aviators with said hats you burn in the hat sun for all of eternity for mixing the fashion and fucking it up. Said hats would also need to be worn with a appropriate piece of clothing. Flat bills for teams would have to have a corresponding jersey. Fedoras would be worn by the high ranking members of the cult and you would need a suit and tie to go along with it.

Non believers would have to wear those hats with the bill but only a strap that expose your head and a crappy Hawaii shirt.

oh and +5 hat points for people who make their own hats.
Can me and my top hat join? I would probably tart a cult of Halo.
 

pppppppppppppppppp

New member
Jun 23, 2011
1,519
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Latinidiot said:
Glass Joe the Champ said:
Latinidiot said:
I call my cult the cult of one. It's only me, and all members must be lonely.


*curl up*
Wow, that's the second most hilariously depressing thing I've heard all week...
I hope you're not being sarcastic, that would really get me down.
W-wait, does that mean you wanted it to be hilariously depressing or you didn't? I'm confused now...
 

lordlillen

New member
Nov 18, 2009
627
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0
cult of inglip

captcha says 28-30 foraftse so i have to find a lot of foraftse's to join my new cult.
 

Latinidiot

New member
Feb 19, 2009
2,215
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Glass Joe the Champ said:
Latinidiot said:
Glass Joe the Champ said:
Latinidiot said:
I call my cult the cult of one. It's only me, and all members must be lonely.


*curl up*
Wow, that's the second most hilariously depressing thing I've heard all week...
I hope you're not being sarcastic, that would really get me down.
W-wait, does that mean you wanted it to be hilariously depressing or you didn't? I'm confused now...
So am I, are you being sarcastic again? AAAAAAAAAGGHH



Let's just call it even.
 

theheroofaction

New member
Jan 20, 2011
928
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The temchuraltar of unaproachability

It would combine the most confusing elements of all real religions, just for the feeling of being part of some weird exclusive club.
 

Rook

New member
Oct 11, 2008
69
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To join, people are cast out into the world alone. Items are dropped by special members that will help those trying to join survive. They are given hints as to where their goal lies. We shall not help them as they run into trouble, including the other cults that would happily kill them. If they reach the destination they are given training. They become shadows and are given the job of Guardians. They are never known by the ones they save and never ask for gratitude. They also have to be able to kill dragons. God damn it, I want Skyrim.
 

Duck Sandwich

New member
Dec 13, 2007
1,750
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The Cult of Kickass

Every 2 or 3 days, we gather together in an arena and have duels with eachother. These duels can take place in the form of boxing matches, wrestling matches, fencing duels, basically any kind of duel that doesn't result in the loser being maimed/killed.

We get new members by hanging around places where fights are likely to happen, such as bars. If we see a non-member getting into a fight for self-defense purposes, or for some just cause (like protecting someone else from a group of thugs) we intervene and come to their aid. (and kick the asses of any thugs stupid enough to fight us). We then invite said non-member to join our cult.
WolfThomas said:
Cult of Justice, it'd work with three person cells, one person would be in charge and be part of a cell above that, where someone else would be charge there etc. Members would know only three other members at the most. But the higher you were you'd be able to send information and changes in strategy doctrine down the chain. Everyone would have a tattoo of the scales of justice with a sword in the middle hidden somewhere out of sight but revealable (like under hair etc, in between toes etc), if asked by none members they're told to say it's a just a dumb astronomy thing they got.

The goal of the cult...to fight crime (obviously).

How you do it is up to each individual cell, be it punisher style attacks, patroling the streets, high profile mob assassinations or volunteering at community centres teaching youth jobs, whatever. The cell system would allow information, missions and money to flow up and down where it's needed. Hopefully important members would join like Police, Doctors, Lawyrers and Politicians, so anonymous tips can be given, stuff covered up and important aid supplied.

In my inner circle we'd know a lot of our lieutenants but ultimately not all the members and they wouldn't know us. We have perhaps a hidden network for quick communication and assistance.

Captured drugs would be surrendered to the police anonymously, guns allocated to cells that desire them and money goes up the chain to be redistributed. I'd take enough to live comfortably and not have to work to support my, but most would be reinvested into cells and community projects.

So I guess it's more anti-crime terrorist organization/syndicate at the moment, so I'd have a whole bunch of rules, creeds and other stuff.
Now this is my kind of cult!
 

NinjaRabies

New member
Mar 26, 2010
159
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I would make the Reformed Church of Bronies. Where we worship the holiest of the holy. Princess celestia! And all the other magnificent ponies of Equestria.

Edit: Late at night, wrote wrong.