You're stuck in an action movie! Cliche's insue! What do you do?

[CulixCupric]

Every action movie cliche becomes a law of physics, and you're now stuck in a never ending action movie. What do you do?

I'd become the best comic relief possible and stay with in 10 feet of one of the following:
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chuck Norris, Ven Diesel (I'd prefer him, he plays D&D, really), Steven Seggul, Bruce Cambell (unless gorillas are near,because he died in the beginning of Congo)

this way i don't die. also, maybe wear a bulletproof vest under a jacket.

Also, i would avoid anyone with a goatee.

I don't want to die.

 

[Edd4224]

Get the biggest gun I could and always wear sunglasses.

 

[])rStrangelove]

Kick out the nearest light and lurk in the shadows for somebody to come by and repair it.

 

[BlastedTheWorm]

Make sure I had my one-liners at the ready.

 

[Daniel Janhagen]

I'd get out of the fresh fruit business and get into cardboard box manufacturing/selling. People will always need empty cardboard boxes to stack in alleys for their car chases, and said car chases are very hard on my watermelons.

 

[Cowabungaa]

I will not look at explosions. Ever.

It's like, a ground rule.

 

[Dango]

Act completely normal, avoiding anything that could possibly explode, including this computer...

 

[CulixCupric]

Shoot the cupboard when I walk in. There's always someone in there.

(Someone's gotta get the reference)

all i can think of is resident evil 1, but that was a closet.

 

[kouriichi]

Kill girl, kiss villain, save bomb, disarm world.

Wait.... i think i mixed something up in there.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Smooth jazz activate!


Sunglasses, tuxedo, and brilliant one-liners.

Smooth and sexy.

 

[The Hotsauce]

I would avoid alpha-male hero types as that would make me become the tragic meatshield sidekick. I would probably become extra geeky and withdrawn so that when conflict eventually comes my way I would inevitably tap into my unknown secret fighting potential.

 

[TorqueConverter]

I would stop playing CoD single player campaign. That should end my "Help, I'm stuck in a 90s action movie script" problem.

 

[Frostbyte666]

Follow the hero around while i carry a folding chair, some snack foods and alcohol. Also have a banner on my back saying professional spectator and whenver the hero gets in a fight or anything make snarky comments and play a drinking game where if any cliches come up I take a drink and you down the bottle if you correctly guess the one-liner in the fight. Got sooo drunk after doing this while watching commando with mates.

 

[MeChaNiZ3D]

Don a pair of sunglasses, walk around in a group of stereotypes, further my own characterisation as much as I can, and only fight when I am drastically outnumbered by the enemy. One-liners also give a temporary power boost, so I'd save those for the worst moments.

 

[ChupathingyX]

Well first of all make sure I have a name.

You don't want to be a nameless mook.

 

[odBilal]

I dont want no trabble

 

[Vault Citizen]

I would try to find my magic ticket and get out of there

 

[Gizmo_Gia_Gias]

Start the most spectacular car chase imaginable that end with a city wide blackout

 

[TheKruzdawg]

OP, I just want to let you know that the rhyming title made my day.

OT: If horror movie cliches ensue, I'm becoming celibate and becoming the best friend friend (not love interest) of the nearest female protagonist I can find. Or avoiding her like the plague. Depends what kind of horror movie... I will NEVER wander off alone to "check something out." I'll be bringing a floodlight with me wherever I go.