You're the head of a failing entertainment company...

[Jack Joe Tip Toe]

Your stocks are in the shitter. You're millions of dollars in debt. You're laying off people left and right. You have to make a movie, album, or game that will get you back into the game. What do you make?

I would do something that people would hate me for. I'm talking about M. Night Shamalamadingdong hate. I would make a Persona movie for American audiences!

You remember the characters you liked? They'll be Americanized! They won't have a actual personality, they'll all say one-liners and and listen to really depressing indie rock! I would remove all of the things that would make unique and fun and replace it with more common things. Teddie will not guide our protagonists, a very whiny and depressed female voice will guide them. I will also throw in as many useless romantic sub-plots as possible! And gone is the energy from the characters! They'll be bland as bread and when speak not with dialogue, but with questions, sappy lines, and one-liners! And the movie will take place in Portland. All of my cast will be nothing but attractive Caucasian teenagers. You like the name Yosuke? I think Aaron is much better. You like Chie? I like Tiffany much more. Also they won't get sucked in by a TV, but an iPod touch. And we will stress that it's an iPod so the audience will get the urge to go out and buy one! Everyone wins in the end!

I would market the movie on channels such as MTV, TLC, E!, and the Disney channel (Did I tell you this was going to be rated PG-13?) And I would reunite Evanescence to do a song for the trailer. And as I see that the opening weekend gross was over $85 million and it has become the latest teen sensation I would look out of my office window and shed a tear as I whisper "What have I done?"

So what would you do if you were the head of a failing entertainment company?

 

[Thaluikhain]

Persuade someone to pay me to make propaganda or advertising movies.

Personally, I'm surprised we don't see more of that.

Spoiler: I mean we've had the Starburst song

And:

Spoiler: Avoid the Noid game

A movie about how great KFC is seems reasonable.

 

[Jack Joe Tip Toe]

Persuade someone to pay me to make propaganda or advertising movies.

Personally, I'm surprised we don't see more of that.

Spoiler: I mean we've had the Starburst song

And:

Spoiler: Avoid the Noid game

A movie about how great KFC is seems reasonable.

I'm pretty sure the villain in that KFC movie would be vegans and PETA. Who are both wiped out at the end of the movie by a bomb made out of chicken grease.

 

[Keoul]

Copy ideas from the "comedy sites" and use them to make a game.
Exhibit A

Spoiler

Alternatively I could just make everyone at the company make shitty mobile games, I'll be rich I tell you, rich!

 

[Jack Joe Tip Toe]

Copy ideas from the "comedy sites" and use them to make a game.
Exhibit A

Spoiler

Alternatively I could just make everyone at the company make shitty mobile games, I'll be rich I tell you, rich!

You can be like EA and make a free game with micro transactions that equal 60 dollars!

 

[theswordsmn]

Actually this was an assignment we had in a game design class of mine. We were given this exact scenario and the professor told us that we need to make X amount of money. Our grade would be the amount: B+ and up means we made enough of a profit and could keep our company going/ B or less meant we had to declare bankruptcy and our group would be disbanded and "made to join other studios" meaning groups that also failed. So by the end of the class there were "Indie" studios and "Major" studios.
He said that each group was approached by 2 clients. One wanted a game that advertised the beauty of New Zealand for a Facebook game for the New Zealand tourism board. The other was a PTA group that wanted an educational game for Grades 1-3.
Every now and then, he would approach a group and make random "Your in trouble" scenarios. Like turning off a monitor you're working on and saying things like "Oh no, major system failure you can't use the computer for a 30 minutes or (2 weeks in scenario world)".

My choice in the end went against my morals, but my group made a cartoonish side scroller with a cute Kiwi that pandered to kids and spammed theirs, their friends and their parents' FB walls with pretty pictures form New Zealand. I wasn't proud of my decision, but we were one of the last standing indie groups.

 

[Hero in a half shell]

Copy ideas from the "comedy sites" and use them to make a game.
Exhibit A

Spoiler

Alternatively I could just make everyone at the company make shitty mobile games, I'll be rich I tell you, rich!

You can be like EA and make a free game with micro transactions that equal 60 dollars!

60 dollars? No, the content of their free games add up to way more than that, not to mention the items they exclusively hide behind randomised pay-to-use loot drops, so you buy an item with no idea of what it actually is, and then find out you just spend $10 on a temporary code to use a weapon for a week (before it's removed from you again.)

I would create an educational programme/game that combined the national curriculum for whatever country I was in with some sort of RPG shooter. Essentially a dungeon crawler with math, literacy, and general knowledge room puzzles. Loading screens would have subject facts repeated on them so the kids would learn through repetition.
Then sell it both to the ruling school board, and online for parents.

The hard part would be convincing the board to allow schools to use it, but if you got their approval you're sorted (and can create a series with different subjects/age groups)

 

[Micky_PX]

I'd try and invest in low budget, lowest common denominator reality tv and really shoot for the "So outrageous you have to watch it" market. Try and get 3 or 4 on the go, hope one of them's a hit and then hope to draw audiences to the rest of them via adverts if one of them successfully draws in a market.

Sadly, that would require me to watch lowest common denominator reality tv shows first to find out what's there... and then think of the most subtle way to steal their ideas.

 

[Jack Joe Tip Toe]

I'd try and invest in low budget, lowest common denominator reality tv and really shoot for the "So outrageous you have to watch it" market. Try and get 3 or 4 on the go, hope one of them's a hit and then hope to draw audiences to the rest of them via adverts if one of them successfully draws in a market.

Sadly, that would require me to watch lowest common denominator reality tv shows first to find out what's there... and then think of the most subtle way to steal their ideas.

Anything on E! And Jersey Shore are pretty much entertainment for the lowest common denominator. Just get a group of people with a double digit IQ and good looks. Also try to fit every ethnicity in there. That will widen your audience. Set it in a place with a beach (Miami, LA) and with lots of clubs. You'll get some of the best ratings imaginable!

 

[HardkorSB]

Low budget movies?
Comedies and horror movies can be made very cheaply.

Most horror movies these days cost less than 5 million $. Even making 20 million, which is a failure for most movies, can be a profit for these kind of projects.
The movie itself isn't a problem. There are plenty of talented and skilled people just waiting to break into the industry who will do it for cheap.
Movie is successful? They get more work. Movie fails? They still get paid and are happy.
You hire one upcoming star who isn't a star yet for the lead role and one aging one who's looking for easy paychecks for a supporting role.

You can sustain a company for decades on things like that. Once you'll get enough money, you can start producing bigger things.

 

[Guitarmasterx7]

Are we taking into account that we're losing money or is it "you still have enough budget for one big thing?" in the case of the former I would probably make a movie that captured that so bad it's good feel like the room or birdemic where it's just so bad that it's funny, chock it full of stupid shit, and then put all of my money into marketing it. In the case of the latter I would probably do the same thing but put an insane amount of money into making it as over the top as I could. I'm talking scenes like the main character killing a thousand ninjas while using two fetuses tied together by the umbilical chords as nunchucks and flying around by projectile vomiting towards the ground and shit like that.

 

[Jack Joe Tip Toe]

Are we taking into account that we're losing money or is it "you still have enough budget for one big thing?" in the case of the former I would probably make a movie that captured that so bad it's good feel like the room or birdemic where it's just so bad that it's funny, chock it full of stupid shit, and then put all of my money into marketing it. In the case of the latter I would probably do the same thing but put an insane amount of money into making it as over the top as I could. I'm talking scenes like the main character killing a thousand ninjas while using two fetuses tied together by the umbilical chords as nunchucks and flying around by projectile vomiting towards the ground and shit like that.

You have enough money for one more thing. It has to something that would make it's money back. And it would give your company a second wind.

 

[ZZoMBiE13]

Is "Hire Nolan North" an option?

 

[Jack Joe Tip Toe]

Is "Hire Nolan North" an option?

Anything that will get your company out of the red is acceptable.

 

[twistedmic]

The best course of action would be to make a slasher/torture porn (think Halloween/Friday the Thirteenth/Nightmare on Elm Street or Saw) flick or a teen/drinking movie (along the lines of Revenge of the Nerds or Hangover) that, while almost certainly generic and by-the-numbers, is more than likely going to make enough money to keep the company afloat for a little while longer. Then use the profits of the first movie to fund the inevitable sequel(s) as well as a more adventurous film that has less guarantee for success.

 

[MammothBlade]

Buy the license for Vampire: The Masquerade and make the best damn freaking vampire game there ever was. I don't care for the specifics, but ensure it can break-even at realistic sales targets. Cut out the flab such as quick time events and pre-rendered cutscenes, forget AAA graphics, just make it a damn first person rpg and make it work. I would take a special interest in the weapons, combat, and level design, giving it a fresh and intuitive feel. Each clan would have a distinctive style and powers, and ample opportunities to use them. Also, TIME TRAVEL.

I don't care about the fate of the company after the game is completed.

 

[KP Shadow]

Going with something similar to what MammothBlade did, I'd try to make a faithful video game adaptation of Dungeons and Dragons that would play like a mix of Chrono Trigger, Final Fantasy Tactics or Fire Emblem, and Persona, with a bit of Bioware-style dialogue trees. As for the specific details:

Exploring towns and talking with NPCs will be more Visual Novel-style. Think something along the lines of Persona 3
Dungeon crawling would take a top-down, free-moving style akin to Chrono Trigger.
Battles will be sort of a Fire Embem/Final Fantasy Tactics-style turn based strategy/RPG approach.
It would have the same sort of seamless transition between dungeon/overworld and battle that Chrono Trigger had.
It would have a moral system based on the Lawful vs. Chaotic/Good vs. Evil system that DnD has.
Certain encounters could be accomplished through negotiations as opposed to combat.
Negotiations would have multiple diplomacy, intimidation, and bluff choices.
Alignments would have an impact on gameplay. Protection from good/evil/law/chaos will be present within the game, and certain diplomatic choices for encounters won't be available to players of certain alignments.

And, if things pan out well, I'd re-use the engine for a few other d20 System games (Primarily stuff for d20 Modern settings, and maybe something similar to BESM d20)

 

[Adam Locking]

Create something that breaks some pointless world record(s) and try and market it around that. I'm talking something like an hour long rock song concept album featuring about 4 different bands and loads of guitar duels and suchlike. You can just market it as 'longest rock song ever' 'album of the century' 'rock's Tubular Bells'. Between that and exploiting 4 fanbases at once, success is guaranteed, quality is optional.

Copy ideas from the "comedy sites" and use them to make a game.
Exhibit A

Spoiler

FYI, that game already came out ten years ago. It's called Manhunt.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Buy the license for Vampire: The Masquerade and make the best damn freaking vampire game there ever was. I don't care for the specifics, but ensure it can break-even at realistic sales targets. Cut out the flab such as quick time events and pre-rendered cutscenes, forget AAA graphics, just make it a damn first person rpg and make it work. I would take a special interest in the weapons, combat, and level design, giving it a fresh and intuitive feel. Each clan would have a distinctive style and powers, and ample opportunities to use them. Also, TIME TRAVEL.

I don't care about the fate of the company after the game is completed.

If you don't care about the specifics, why buy the licence, why not just make something derivative?

But, sans time travel, that sounds a lot like VTM: Bloodlines, or at least there's probably the right mod for you somewhere.