Zero Punctuation: Alpha Protocol

[JordanMillward_1]

I just have to point out that the game would have been much better if the three JBs really were what you had listed at the end: Jack Bauer, James Bond and John Barrowman.

Screw Jason Bourne, I want to be able to play as Intense Interrogator (Jack Bauer), Screws Any Lady (James Bond) and Screws Anything with a Hole (John Barrowman). If you go this path, you can beat the game by hitting on David Tennant. Best game ever.

Please make this game I would walk over an army of evil to play this game.

God damn I'd want to play that game!

 

[Ixal]

He seemed rather generous to a game that other reviewers have eaten and crapped out.

Thats because those other reviewers were twitch kiddies who expected a "no brain required" fps instead of a Deus Ex like RPG.
Look at some serious reviews (mostly those made by PC gamers, as the twitch kiddie quota is lower there than on consoles) and you will see that AP is actually quite good.


PS: That melee boss can be defeated quite easily when you make the right friends...

 

[BrotherRool]

This one, he praised for a whole review, and quickly added that it was crap at the end.

A "poorly balanced" game isn't necessarily crap any more than a well-balanced game is necessarily fantastic. And wasn't the last thing he actually drew attention to at the end the game's replay value? I can't remember. I watched it yesterday in a haze, which means I might as well have dreamt the entire thing.

I think it's pretty awesome how this review can be interpreted so differently. Thank goodness Croshaw doesn't give "scores". It makes everything so much more fun.

Well the people who've got it who I've talked to, said the combat was broken to the point of not being worth enduring. There is almost no AI to the point where you can crouch right in front of someone, walk up to their face and get a "stealth kill"

 

[RedCellEnigma]

When I see the image of a guy shotgun-raping the planet, I fall out of my chair laughing.

 

[St-Scott]

This one, he praised for a whole review, and quickly added that it was crap at the end.

A "poorly balanced" game isn't necessarily crap any more than a well-balanced game is necessarily fantastic. And wasn't the last thing he actually drew attention to at the end the game's replay value? I can't remember. I watched it yesterday in a haze, which means I might as well have dreamt the entire thing.

I think it's pretty awesome how this review can be interpreted so differently. Thank goodness Croshaw doesn't give "scores". It makes everything so much more fun.

Well the people who've got it who I've talked to, said the combat was broken to the point of not being worth enduring. There is almost no AI to the point where you can crouch right in front of someone, walk up to their face and get a "stealth kill"

Meaning, of course, that you're either so god damn good at stealth killing that you can literally walk up to people, stab them in the eye, leave the KNIFE at the scene of the crime, and never be found out, or somebody left a key element called "A.I. Response" which really could have made the game somewhat better, don't you think?

 

[MisterColeman]

I had no idea what an insanely massive script Zero Punctuation videos actually have; thanks to 4:11 seeing how much text such a speedy narative can have in the span of a minute I now have an idea...

That's quite a bit to come up with week after week, much apppreciated good sir.

 

[Ninja Monkey]

To clarify:

Ponce - Someone who is incredibly arrogant/self centred. To whit: A person who comes to your barbeque neglecting to bring any food/refreshments, proceeds to crack open and comsume the contents of a bottle of champagne you were saving for a special occasion who then loudly and ineptly insults your significant other before throwing up and passing out on your bed. Upon waking they will badger you for money to get a taxi home, which you are more than willing to pay just to get them out of your sight.

But the 'Ponciest ponce who ever ponced past a ponce shop'? This I have to see.

 

[Caradinist]

The plot can be confusing if you don't get enough dossier info to really uncover people's motives and the web of character relations. However, after a few playthroughs most of the initially apparent holes will be plugged and it'll make sense.

Though the plot might have taken a bit of a backseat, the writing is fantastic (it's Chris Avellone, after all), as is the cinematic direction. The choice and consequence is unrivaled by any other recent RPG - I've played through the game three times now, with each time having notably different things happening throughout the game, in response to my actions (not only the blatant ones, but things like shooting innocent guards instead of knocking them out in the course of a mission). I'm sure I haven't uncovered all of the possible branches yet, either.

The gameplay isn't spectacular, but I don't get why all the reviewers ripped on it. It's certainly as good, if not better, than Mass Effect 1. The graphics, as well, are better than those of Dragon Age, yet Dragon Age didn't get panned for outdated visuals. The AI is goofy, but it's not gamebreaking.

As for bugs, I've seen maybe five or six bugs, total. Most of them are graphical and fairly minor.

Agreed. I tried this game out, and the consequence actions is pretty well done, although if you want something else to happen entirely in a conversation, you may have to have played through it at least once to be prepared for it (or load checkpoints).

If only the gameplay could have been the same quality. I encountered a few bugs, for example climbing up a ladder and a lackey climbing down. This resulted in the guard floating right on top of me at all times, even while moving, along with the Takedown commands on my screen, but not working.

 

[havoc_91]

nice review.

i wonder what next weeks review is gonna be?

 

[Oblarg]

The plot can be confusing if you don't get enough dossier info to really uncover people's motives and the web of character relations. However, after a few playthroughs most of the initially apparent holes will be plugged and it'll make sense.

Though the plot might have taken a bit of a backseat, the writing is fantastic (it's Chris Avellone, after all), as is the cinematic direction. The choice and consequence is unrivaled by any other recent RPG - I've played through the game three times now, with each time having notably different things happening throughout the game, in response to my actions (not only the blatant ones, but things like shooting innocent guards instead of knocking them out in the course of a mission). I'm sure I haven't uncovered all of the possible branches yet, either.

The gameplay isn't spectacular, but I don't get why all the reviewers ripped on it. It's certainly as good, if not better, than Mass Effect 1. The graphics, as well, are better than those of Dragon Age, yet Dragon Age didn't get panned for outdated visuals. The AI is goofy, but it's not gamebreaking.

As for bugs, I've seen maybe five or six bugs, total. Most of them are graphical and fairly minor.

Agreed. I tried this game out, and the consequence actions is pretty well done, although if you want something else to happen entirely in a conversation, you may have to have played through it at least once to be prepared for it (or load checkpoints).

If only the gameplay could have been the same quality. I encountered a few bugs, for example climbing up a ladder and a lackey climbing down. This resulted in the guard floating right on top of me at all times, even while moving, along with the Takedown commands on my screen, but not working.

Yeah, the branching narrative is nothing short of awesome. If the gameplay had been the same quality, the game would have been GotY quality. As it is, though, it's still one hell of a good RPG - I played through it three times in a row without losing interest, so Obsidian must have done something right.

 

[steveredd]

That sucks now. hes missed a few good games to rip on.

 

[cheese_wizington]

This was a hilarious review, I much enjoyed it.

 

[cheese_wizington]

Why am I on probation!? Read my message at the top, whats wrong with that?
Is there some sort of automatic probation dispenser for whoever is the first to comment on a new zero punctuation video?

No, you simply commented before you could have watched the entire video.

You're supposed to watch the video you are commenting on.

 

[XainBushido]

I am surprised he didn't pick apart the games mechanics as much as most reviewers did. It was a nice review given I have enjoyed playing this game a lot.

 

[Revolutionary]

It's lines like "ponce repellent wallpaper" that make n=me split my sides.

 

[MilitantPunk]

I too definitely liked the variable asshole you were able to be. However the gaps in the story aren't filled when you replay it you have to read the intel that is scattered around to understand what the hell is happening. As far as that is concerned a game that wants me to read, fuck that.

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

The plot can be confusing if you don't get enough dossier info to really uncover people's motives and the web of character relations. However, after a few playthroughs most of the initially apparent holes will be plugged and it'll make sense.

Though the plot might have taken a bit of a backseat, the writing is fantastic (it's Chris Avellone, after all), as is the cinematic direction. The choice and consequence is unrivaled by any other recent RPG - I've played through the game three times now, with each time having notably different things happening throughout the game, in response to my actions (not only the blatant ones, but things like shooting innocent guards instead of knocking them out in the course of a mission). I'm sure I haven't uncovered all of the possible branches yet, either.

The gameplay isn't spectacular, but I don't get why all the reviewers ripped on it. It's certainly as good, if not better, than Mass Effect 1. The graphics, as well, are better than those of Dragon Age, yet Dragon Age didn't get panned for outdated visuals. The AI is goofy, but it's not gamebreaking.

As for bugs, I've seen maybe five or six bugs, total. Most of them are graphical and fairly minor.

Agreed. I tried this game out, and the consequence actions is pretty well done, although if you want something else to happen entirely in a conversation, you may have to have played through it at least once to be prepared for it (or load checkpoints).

If only the gameplay could have been the same quality. I encountered a few bugs, for example climbing up a ladder and a lackey climbing down. This resulted in the guard floating right on top of me at all times, even while moving, along with the Takedown commands on my screen, but not working.

Yeah, the branching narrative is nothing short of awesome. If the gameplay had been the same quality, the game would have been GotY quality. As it is, though, it's still one hell of a good RPG - I played through it three times in a row without losing interest, so Obsidian must have done something right.

this. the game is a gem for sure just mixed in with some bugs here and there (which personally dont bug me one bit, i can forgive a game easily for being slightly bugged) and i've replayed it myself 2 times and im on my third playthrough now as a veteran

if you like rpg's, like decent story and dialogue, i can almost garuntee you'll at least like this game

 

[Vorpals]

This was one of the best reviews in a while, and it made me giggle like a five year-old listening to his friend spew toilet humor, even though I'm dead tired.

 

[Archon666]

cant belev i spoted this but, 21secs in the bow is brown not red

 

[Matthew Staniforth]

You should review Pharaoh. Like the computer game pharaoh. You'd love it