Zero Punctuation: Amy

[MurderousToaster]

I've said this before and I'll say it every time anyone reviews this game or says anything about it and expresses anything approaching surprise that it's a complete load. This is "Escort Quest: The Game" how could you ever imagine there could be anything redeeming about it?

You should see their next project, it's called "Sewers and Keycards: The Fetchquestening" and is set entirely within one long, continuous sewer level where you need to fetch keycards for a man called Dickbag McBallockfuck, who tells you to **** off and dryhump a cat whenever you give him one.

Kudos to the developers for trolling the entire gaming community. Building a game around one of the most hated gameplay mechanics of all time? Brilliant. I'm calling it now, people - their next game will be titled "Sewerama", and it'll consist of the player character trudging through dark tunnels and knee-deep shit for six hours.

Oh you son of a *****. Posted in the same minute. Where did you graduate ninja school? Are you psychic? Dear sweet Jesus, are you a psychic ninja?

 

[Ulquiorra4sama]

I've said this before and I'll say it every time anyone reviews this game or says anything about it and expresses anything approaching surprise that it's a complete load. This is "Escort Quest: The Game" how could you ever imagine there could be anything redeeming about it?

Seriously, it's one of the most hated parts of video games. And they MADE A GAME AROUND IT!

Who thought this was a good idea?

Well no one complained when Ico did it.

OT: Meh, so it's just not an escort game, it's a BAD escort game. And when it's worse than usual escort missions in games you just know there's no way to enjoy it. Plus i've still not regained my interest in zombies after that tidal wave that his us recently.

 

[WanderingFool]

Im curious as to how anyone could enjoy this game...

 

[scorptatious]

Didn't one guy compare this game to Ico? So far, that's one of the few games I've played that has the whole escort mechanic thing done well. (Note that I've never played RE4)

 

[BlackStar42]

Kudos to the developers for trolling the entire gaming community. Building a game around one of the most hated gameplay mechanics of all time? Brilliant. I'm calling it now, people - their next game will be titled "Sewerama", and it'll consist of the player character trudging through dark tunnels and knee-deep shit for six hours.

Fallout 3 Metro Tunnels: The Game.

Nice review, but watching it brought back all the memories of escort missions I've had to do...*twitch*

 

[Something Amyss]

Well no one complained when Ico did it.

ICO is a cult hit, which means most people didn't really play it in the first place. It was a critical darling and has devoted fans, but that means little in regards to the notion that it was a good idea.

 

[Kojiro ftt]

Sooo disappointed. I was looking forward to a real survival horror game. And I guarantee the industry will look at Amy and say "see, nobody likes survival horror anymore, we need to make more Resident Evil and Dead Space." Because they are never at fault for a shitty game.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Pfft, you obviously just suck at the game Yahtzee.

You're not playing it properly, that's why you didn't have fun.

 

[wildpeaks]

[a href=http://online.nolife-tv.com/index.php?id=26877]Marcus[/a] and Yatzee review the same game on the same day, my universe just imploded
[sub]my universe is very small, yes[/sub]

 

[Wolfram23]

I think Escapist needs to beef up the infrastructure. Every Wednesday at 10am (MST) the whole website just chokes. Occasionally it will allow a little traffic to pass, only to go unconscious again moments later. Ugh.

Also, wow, that game looks like shit.

 

[Yopaz]

Didn't one guy compare this game to Ico? So far, that's one of the few games I've played that has the whole escort mechanic thing done well. (Note that I've never played RE4)

Funny thing about Amy. Watch the trailer for it and you'll see several of the giants in the world of video game reviews. When you have watched the trailer check the reviews from the same sites who got the comments. IGN had some great comments on it (I think they were the ones comparing it to Ico) and they gave it 20/100. A score far below mediocre for normal games and a long drop from the usual score for crap which is rarely below 40.

OT: I'm so glad he reviewed this game. Once you see every reviewer taking a stab at a game you know for certain it's bad and Yahtzee is at his best when he reviews games he loves and games he hates like the plague.

 

[esperandote]

I didn't think it had that many flaws, to think I was courious to buy it. He certainly had a lot of material to talk about.

I took me a lot of time for the video to finally show.

 

[Denamic]

Kudos to the developers for trolling the entire gaming community. Building a game around one of the most hated gameplay mechanics of all time? Brilliant.

ICO.
That is all that needs to be said.
This game isn't ICO though.

 

[Sizzle Montyjing]

I enjoyed watching Yahtzee rip the ever-loving shit oout of that mess of a game.
Most wonderful

On a side note, it'll be interesting to watch Yahtzee when (and if) he does a review of the Darkness 2, since the original Darkness was the first video in his career.

 

[Bluecho]

Damnit Survival Horror genre! First you're no where to be found, and then when you finally show up, the games suck. What the hell, genre?

I keep telling people they should be giving the creepy girls with powers some hugs! I keep telling people to just show them some love and you'll be fine! This game (as crap as it is) proves this principle. Healing, silence bubbles, AND death rays? Sign me up! Or rather don't, because I don't much like the prospect of being dependent on a little girl to keep me from becoming a zombie.

 

[FoolKiller]

Amy... Making Siren and Obscure look like brilliant survival horror games.

Heh...

ObsCure was a great survival game with no budget. Seriously... it was good co-op and they did some logical things that made me smile. For example:

Oooh.... look. A locked door that I can look through the top half since it's glass. It looks like somewhere I want to go into. *breaks glass and unlocks door by reaching through*

How come some high schoolers didthis but Harry, Chris, Leon, Edward, and company couldn't figure this shit out?

 

[WanderingFool]

Amy... Making Siren and Obscure look like brilliant survival horror games.

Heh...

ObsCure was a great survival game with no budget. Seriously... it was good co-op and they did some logical things that made me smile. For example:

Oooh.... look. A locked door that I can look through the top half since it's glass. It looks like somewhere I want to go into. *breaks glass and unlocks door by reaching through*

How come some high schoolers didthis but Harry, Chris, Leon, Edward, and company couldn't figure this shit out?

I blame that on thier dependence on the plot, like typical B-movie protagonists...